fuck everything.
I hate everything. Fuck everything.
I'm turning 16 in two days. I was excited for a while, but I realized there is nothing exciting about it. Everyone is usually excited to turn 16 because they can receive their license, but no. Not me. My parents want me to suffer and embarrass myself begging for rides. They won't even let me get a GUAM ID!! Talk about sad. They have no trust in me. My parents don't give a shit. I had to remind them my birthday was coming up. It still didn't hit them. "Iris is turning 16. Sweet 16." No party. No celebration of any sort. No dinner. No presents. Absolutely Nothing. Then they realize after a few days; "Oh. Did Iris want a party?" My dad says to me.. "Did you want a party? Who are you going to invite? You have no friends. Aren't you a loner at school?" me:"Wow. That hurts. I do have friends.." "Oh. Then why don't you get a room at PIC for you and your friends? You guys can go swimming in the water park or something." What the fuck?! I'm turning 16. NOT 12!! It kind of sucks. My parents don't know me. They don't try to get to know me. Just earlier when I got home from work, I tried to talk to my mother about an incident that happened. It's embarrassing when a friend comes up to you saying that their mom told them that my mother was talking shit about a friend of mine. I don't want to be known as the kid with a shit-talking mother. So I calmly asked her if she said anything about my friend to another mother. She flipped out and took it the wrong way and started yelling at me. "Are you accusing your own mother to be a shit talker?! Are you accusing me of being a liar!?" I had no intention for it to come out like that. I was only asking because I don't know her. So I always have to ask ask ask in order to get a conclusion. I can't be like a normal daughter and think to myself, "Oh, blah blah my mom is like this and like that so blah blah." I don't converse with her much. I try to. I swear I do, but it just ends up getting into a big arguement. Just like tonight. Why can't I just live a normal fucking life?!
That's not the only thing thats bugging me. My "friends". I don't know who is really my friend. Friends don't fucking steal from each other. Friends don't burn deal each other. I don't know what the fuck is going on right now.
I'm just a confused little bitch. I have no one to turn to at times like this. I can't trust anyone. I have no one to talk to. No one to get advice from. No one to spill my heart out to and cry on their shoulder for hours. Absolutely No One.
Out of the going on to 16 years of my life.. I can only remember 8 months of my entire life that I was happy. That one person made me feel special. He made me feel important to life. He was there when I had problems. He was the shoulder I cried on. He picked me up when I wanted to get away from my family. But I screwed it up. Now I'm left with nothing. I know. HIM again!? Fuck you guys. At least he was there for me.
I'm probably going to attempt to throw a drink out for my birthday and that will be the last time I go out. Hope to see you guys there. I won't be seeing you guys for a while..
Call me if your interested in going. I'll give details on the phone.
688-5544
-aichan*
I'm turning 16 in two days. I was excited for a while, but I realized there is nothing exciting about it. Everyone is usually excited to turn 16 because they can receive their license, but no. Not me. My parents want me to suffer and embarrass myself begging for rides. They won't even let me get a GUAM ID!! Talk about sad. They have no trust in me. My parents don't give a shit. I had to remind them my birthday was coming up. It still didn't hit them. "Iris is turning 16. Sweet 16." No party. No celebration of any sort. No dinner. No presents. Absolutely Nothing. Then they realize after a few days; "Oh. Did Iris want a party?" My dad says to me.. "Did you want a party? Who are you going to invite? You have no friends. Aren't you a loner at school?" me:"Wow. That hurts. I do have friends.." "Oh. Then why don't you get a room at PIC for you and your friends? You guys can go swimming in the water park or something." What the fuck?! I'm turning 16. NOT 12!! It kind of sucks. My parents don't know me. They don't try to get to know me. Just earlier when I got home from work, I tried to talk to my mother about an incident that happened. It's embarrassing when a friend comes up to you saying that their mom told them that my mother was talking shit about a friend of mine. I don't want to be known as the kid with a shit-talking mother. So I calmly asked her if she said anything about my friend to another mother. She flipped out and took it the wrong way and started yelling at me. "Are you accusing your own mother to be a shit talker?! Are you accusing me of being a liar!?" I had no intention for it to come out like that. I was only asking because I don't know her. So I always have to ask ask ask in order to get a conclusion. I can't be like a normal daughter and think to myself, "Oh, blah blah my mom is like this and like that so blah blah." I don't converse with her much. I try to. I swear I do, but it just ends up getting into a big arguement. Just like tonight. Why can't I just live a normal fucking life?!
That's not the only thing thats bugging me. My "friends". I don't know who is really my friend. Friends don't fucking steal from each other. Friends don't burn deal each other. I don't know what the fuck is going on right now.
I'm just a confused little bitch. I have no one to turn to at times like this. I can't trust anyone. I have no one to talk to. No one to get advice from. No one to spill my heart out to and cry on their shoulder for hours. Absolutely No One.
Out of the going on to 16 years of my life.. I can only remember 8 months of my entire life that I was happy. That one person made me feel special. He made me feel important to life. He was there when I had problems. He was the shoulder I cried on. He picked me up when I wanted to get away from my family. But I screwed it up. Now I'm left with nothing. I know. HIM again!? Fuck you guys. At least he was there for me.
I'm probably going to attempt to throw a drink out for my birthday and that will be the last time I go out. Hope to see you guys there. I won't be seeing you guys for a while..
Call me if your interested in going. I'll give details on the phone.
688-5544
-aichan*