Less than 24 hours!
24 hours from right now I'll be in the airport, bags checked and ready to go. Whee! Though, honestly, I'd be happier about that if my bags were packed. Still, it's in the works; laundry is going and I'm gathering other stuff together (toiletries, etc.) Had a dream last night in which I started with "I forgot my shampoo/conditioner", realised "I forgot my pajamas!", and then suddenly realised "OMG, I FORGOT TO PACK MY SUITCASE AND BRING IT. I HAVE NOTHING."
ETA: Okay, the rest of this really no longer applies; I put on my Big Girl Panties and called my sister and found out what was really going on. Apologies happened, explanations happened, All Is Well.
Now I just need to hope my stupid dryer gets things done in time. 0_0
This is highly indicative of my current mindset--I'm feeling very much like I can't do anything right recently. Nothing seems to turn out the way I want it to (except, oddly enough, my cooking, which is usually a weak spot for me). Money, family relationships, work...nothing's going the way I want it to. Consequently, I'm actually, in a way, dreading this trip, because some little part of me knows I'm going to fuck something up in a major way and end up miserable.
This isn't common for me, this depression. It's very rare, in fact. I'm usually pretty optimistic and happy. Maybe it has something to do with my niece telling me last night that she thinks I'm high-maintenance and can be taken in doses, and that my sister considers me a Little Miss Can't-Be-Wrong. And, of course, my brother-in-law has made it perfectly clear over the past 30 years that he has almost no respect for me, even to the point of (get this) calling me Aunt Fatso to his children for years, including the years when I babysat them after school and so was responsible for their safety and well-being. And then denying it to me.
God damn it. This entry started out happy.
ETA: Okay, the rest of this really no longer applies; I put on my Big Girl Panties and called my sister and found out what was really going on. Apologies happened, explanations happened, All Is Well.
Now I just need to hope my stupid dryer gets things done in time. 0_0
This is highly indicative of my current mindset--I'm feeling very much like I can't do anything right recently. Nothing seems to turn out the way I want it to (except, oddly enough, my cooking, which is usually a weak spot for me). Money, family relationships, work...nothing's going the way I want it to. Consequently, I'm actually, in a way, dreading this trip, because some little part of me knows I'm going to fuck something up in a major way and end up miserable.
This isn't common for me, this depression. It's very rare, in fact. I'm usually pretty optimistic and happy. Maybe it has something to do with my niece telling me last night that she thinks I'm high-maintenance and can be taken in doses, and that my sister considers me a Little Miss Can't-Be-Wrong. And, of course, my brother-in-law has made it perfectly clear over the past 30 years that he has almost no respect for me, even to the point of (get this) calling me Aunt Fatso to his children for years, including the years when I babysat them after school and so was responsible for their safety and well-being. And then denying it to me.
God damn it. This entry started out happy.