Writing rant: purple prose
*begin rant*
I don't want anyone to get it into their heads that I don't like descriptive stories. That's as far from the truth as you can get. Beautifully, lyrically descriptive stories like joely_jo's Simmer Dim, or stories that are descriptive in such a way that the description becomes merely part of the movie in my mind and I hardly even register it, like jlrpuck's The Way of Things, are some of my very favourites. And there are many others out there that fall into one of those two categories as well, of course; those are just two of the best. :)
But authors do not have to describe every single thing in the room in the most flowery words they can come up with. Honest.
Compare these two sentences:
1. The candlelight flickered, dancing over her bare skin, and he itched to let his fingers do the same.
2. The room was lit in golden candlelight from the small white candle that sat on the mahogany table in front of them, and it spread over every centimeter of her soft pale flesh just the way he wished he could let his fingers do.
Don't try to dump all your description into a single paragraph--or worse, single sentence! Let us discover it as you go along, and don't let the description get in the way of your story. Remember that your story is the most important thing--your characters, not the place they're in. Give us enough to be able to picture it in our minds, but know that you're never going to be able to make the audience see exactly what you see unless you actually get into our heads and telepathically show us. There will be some differences. That's all right. Unless it really matters that the reader knows exactly what colour the table is, or which wall the bed's on, or where that wine stain is in the carpet, you can get away with just mentioning it and moving on.
Basically, decide what's the important thing in the scene and make that your focus. In the first sentence above, the focus is on the relationship between the two characters, from the male partner's point of view; in the second, it's on the candle and the table; even the light over her flesh is secondary, and his desire is tertiary. That feels off to me because we're clearly in his point of view; I doubt he'd be paying much attention to the wood of the table or the colour of the candle. Keep in mind that you're writing from the point of view of a person; what would he or she be looking at? What would he or she notice? What would he or she care about? THAT's where your description should be strongest.
Sorry... this isn't aimed at anyone on my flist, it's a generic sort of rant based on some of the stuff I've been reading lately that's annoying me. (No, souleswanderer, it's NOT YOU.)
*end rant*
ETA: I am apparently quite fond of the semicolon. *looks at the above and winces* Clearly I'm no expert either!
I don't want anyone to get it into their heads that I don't like descriptive stories. That's as far from the truth as you can get. Beautifully, lyrically descriptive stories like joely_jo's Simmer Dim, or stories that are descriptive in such a way that the description becomes merely part of the movie in my mind and I hardly even register it, like jlrpuck's The Way of Things, are some of my very favourites. And there are many others out there that fall into one of those two categories as well, of course; those are just two of the best. :)
But authors do not have to describe every single thing in the room in the most flowery words they can come up with. Honest.
Compare these two sentences:
1. The candlelight flickered, dancing over her bare skin, and he itched to let his fingers do the same.
2. The room was lit in golden candlelight from the small white candle that sat on the mahogany table in front of them, and it spread over every centimeter of her soft pale flesh just the way he wished he could let his fingers do.
Don't try to dump all your description into a single paragraph--or worse, single sentence! Let us discover it as you go along, and don't let the description get in the way of your story. Remember that your story is the most important thing--your characters, not the place they're in. Give us enough to be able to picture it in our minds, but know that you're never going to be able to make the audience see exactly what you see unless you actually get into our heads and telepathically show us. There will be some differences. That's all right. Unless it really matters that the reader knows exactly what colour the table is, or which wall the bed's on, or where that wine stain is in the carpet, you can get away with just mentioning it and moving on.
Basically, decide what's the important thing in the scene and make that your focus. In the first sentence above, the focus is on the relationship between the two characters, from the male partner's point of view; in the second, it's on the candle and the table; even the light over her flesh is secondary, and his desire is tertiary. That feels off to me because we're clearly in his point of view; I doubt he'd be paying much attention to the wood of the table or the colour of the candle. Keep in mind that you're writing from the point of view of a person; what would he or she be looking at? What would he or she notice? What would he or she care about? THAT's where your description should be strongest.
Sorry... this isn't aimed at anyone on my flist, it's a generic sort of rant based on some of the stuff I've been reading lately that's annoying me. (No, souleswanderer, it's NOT YOU.)
*end rant*
ETA: I am apparently quite fond of the semicolon. *looks at the above and winces* Clearly I'm no expert either!