As Luck Would Have It
Title: As Luck Would Have It
Pairing: Yesung/Ryeowook
Wordcount: 5,217
Rating: PG
Summary: AU. Ryeowook is head-over-heels in love with a man he’s never spoken to.
Notes: For Ryeowook’s birthday~ This may or may not be based entirely on true events >___>;;
The first time he sees him is just a few weeks into the fall semester.
Ryeowook is walking back from his politics class around noon. He swipes his card just about sixteen times through the old key-reader lock on the front door of the dorm before the door finally clicks unlocked. He reaches out to pull the door open, but before he can open it himself, it flies open and someone hurries out. Ryeowook squeaks and jumps back to avoid being hit square in the face. In his fright, he barely registers the hurried apology from the man who nearly broke his nose. All he can do is stare, transfixed by the face before him. It is a round face, framed by dark, shaggy locks of hair. His eyes are harshly slanted behind a huge pair of fashionable, yet reminiscently nerdish glasses, and a silver star punctuates his earlobe. His lips are drawn together in a straight line, but they begin to tug downwards into a frown as Ryeowook realizes he still hasn’t said anything and is standing with his keycard lifted in the air like a complete moron. As Ryeowook scrambles to untie his tongue, the stranger gives a little shrug and continues on his way out of the building and down the sidewalk towards campus.
The second time he sees him as only a week later.
Ryeowook decides upon the name “Attractive Mystery Guy.” It suits him, he thinks with a mental pat on the back. Not only does he have a face that threatens to liquefy Ryeowook’s knees, but he finds it odd that they live in the same building and yet no one seems to know who he is. He had brought it up casually to Kim Heechul-two years older than Ryeowook and campus-famous for being the biggest gossip at the university. There isn’t a thing, or person, that Heechul doesn’t know. He thanks his lucky stars for having landed himself within the same basic circle of friends as the campus’s resident diva last year, otherwise he’d have no reason to plop down across from Heechul at dinner in the cafeteria that night.
He tries his best to explain Attractive Mystery Guy’s attractive and mysterious qualities without sounding like an adolescent with a schoolyard crush, but that is exactly what Heechul calls him, although not quite so eloquently.
“You saw the guy for, what, thirty seconds and you expect me to bend over backwards to find him for you?” Heechul picks at his half-frozen dinner and disregards Ryeowook completely.
Ryeowook pouts, impertinent, and glares off at the far wall of the cafeteria. He’s about to huff out a little No!, but it catches in his throat and a strangled “Yes!” escapes his lips instead as he watches a mop of black hair rise from a table near the door. He almost hadn’t recognized it, hidden beneath a baseball cap. By the time he regains Heechul’s attention from the oh-so-interesting Chinese exchange student who mistakenly joined their table, Attractive Mystery Guy is out the door. Ryeowook groans dramatically and flops over the table. Heechul gives him an off-handed pat on the shoulder and returns his attention to sizing up the Chinese student. Ryeowook comforts himself with the fact that Attractive Mystery Guy evidently eats dinner in the cafeteria, thus giving him hope of seeing him again.
He cannot believe it, though, when the next time he sees Attractive Mystery Guy is an entire two months later.
He’s walking to class, bundled up against the blistery December wind that whistles across the concrete wasteland of campus, and he spots him coming down the staircase. He has earbuds in and is messing around with his phone, not paying attention to where he is going. Ryeowook has a momentary impulse to step in front of him and cause another collision, and therefore a conversation, but he remembers how poorly that went last time and regretfully passes him on the stairs without so much of a brush of elbows.
Winter break comes and goes and Spring break is not far behind. He doesn’t see Attractive Mystery Guy for three months and begins to suspect his crush has fallen off the face of the planet. Or had a winter graduation. Classes are winding up towards finals and Ryeowook finds himself with three eight-page papers due in two weeks and a research-project-slash-speech due next Monday. He is unable to focus in his dorm, the Spring weather far too nice to spend days locked in his room. His roommate, Sungmin, is also on his last nerve. Ryeowook can recite Sungmin’s Japanese speech in his sleep, and he’s never even so much as glanced over the notes nor the language. So Ryeowook takes to spending his afternoons and evenings in the campus library, seated at a little desk in front of the huge windows at the front of the building. From there he can keep an eye on the beautiful weather, soak up some sunlight, and revel in the peace and quiet detrimental to his focus.
He also discovers that Attractive Mystery Guy has not fallen off the face of the planet, nor has he had a winter graduation. Almost every day, Ryeowook passes him when he walks to and from the library. He smiles hopefully at him, but Attractive Mystery Guy never looks up from the pavement as he walks, and his earbuds are ever-faithfully tucked into his ears. Ryeowook wishes he could reach out and touch his elbow, stop him on his way, and introduce himself.
He daydreams about it as he tries to read the Wikipedia page of Friedrich Wilhelm von Steuben. He’d be sly and confident, and Attractive Mystery Guy would be so impressed and taken by his charm that they would end up walking back to the dorm together. Their personalities would match so well that Attractive Mystery Guy would decide he cannot live without Ryeowook by his side, and they would skip friendship and dive straight into a relationship. Ryeowook would walk beside him, one of his earbuds in his own ear and their strides would match as they walked to the library. They would study and write papers together. He would take Ryeowook to his room and they would sit on the floor, slurping messy ramen noodles while they swapped stories and kisses.
It’s perfect, Ryeowook thinks, but he can never bring himself to reach out and touch that tanned forearm. Instead, he pleases himself with seeing him every now and then on the sidewalk near the dorms. Ryeowook discovers that he smiles to himself when he listens to music, that he likes Starbucks’ iced coffee, but that he sometimes drinks strawberry smoothies from the library’s café.
Ryeowook is perfectly content to live out the remainder of the year in his own little fantasy world.
Two weeks before finals, he meets up with Cho Kyuhyun for lunch. Kyuhyun is a year below him-not that he acts it-and has become one of Ryeowook’s good friends over the last semester. Kyuhyun is a self-proclaimed genius, and while Ryeowook would normally scoff at such arrogance, his general math grade has buoyed since the freshman offered to tutor him. He waits for Kyuhyun outside the campus Starbucks. Kyuhyun is late and Ryeowook is considering walking to the food court without him and waiting for him at a table laden down with fettuccine Alfredo and cheese rolls and sweet tea. Just as he is about to set off, he sees Kyuhyun come panting up a flight of stairs.
“I was about to leave you,” Ryeowook warns. “You’re always late.”
“Sorry,” Kyuhyun grins, but Ryeowook can tell he doesn’t mean it. “I got caught up talking to someone.”
“That girl from your statistics class?” Ryeowook raises an eyebrow knowingly.
“Maybe.”
“Well, come on. You can tell me about it while we walk. I’m starving.” Ryeowook hitches his bag up higher on his shoulders and turns to walk away.
“Hyung!”
Ryeowook spins around at Kyuhyun’s voice, surprised to hear the honorific fall from his lips. Ryeowook is the youngest amongst most of his friends, and the ones that are younger never call him hyung, much to his annoyance. It is such an annoyance that rushes through his veins when he sees Kyuhyun darting off into Starbucks after someone else. He shouldn’t be surprised, Ryeowook huffs at himself, but dutifully trots after Kyuhyun like a good friend would.
He is just inside the door when he finally recognizes the man Kyuhyun had called out to. His stomach twists into painful knots as he stares at Kyuhyun making friendly conversation with Attractive Mystery Guy. Kyuhyun breaks away quickly enough and rejoins Ryeowook at the door.
“Sorry. I needed to give Yesung-hyung some notes. You’re hungry right? Let’s go.” Kyuhyun takes Ryeowook by the elbow and tries to pull him out the door, but Ryeowook feels like his feet are cemented to the floor. What are the odds? His disrespectful little dongsaeng knows Attractive Mystery Guy. His brain immediately begins tallying up all the times Kyuhyun had teased him or bullied him and he wonders if it is enough to warrant asking Kyuhyun to do him a favor and introduce him. Kyuhyun gives him a harsher tug on his elbow and he stumbles out the door with him, his mind reeling with information. He knows he’s being pulled away from the coffee shop and feels his chance, possibly his only chance, slipping away with each clumsy footstep. And then he realizes something.
“Yesung?” he squeaks. He has a name.
Kyuhyun glances down at him. “Yeah? You know him? He’s in class with me.”
Ryeowook can’t seem to swallow past the lump in his throat, and his brain is screaming a thousand different things, but he can vaguely hear himself whimper out something about Attractive Mystery Guy.Kyuhyun stops in his tracks.
“You mean that guy you’ve been pining after all year is Yesung? Are you kidding me?” A dangerous smirk spreads across Kyuhyun’s face and he changes directions, spinning on heel and dragging Ryeowook back towards Starbucks. His grip is bruising on Ryeowook’s wrist. Ryeowook scrambles to keep up with Kyuhyun’s long, hurried strides, not quite comprehending why he is being taken back into the coffee shop. It all becomes clear when Kyuhyun finally halts at the end of the counter, where the overly-sugary drinks are slid across the counter to customers. Where Attractive Asian Guy-no, where Yesung is waiting. Kyuhyun calls out again, “Hyung!”
Yesung turns around and yanks his earbuds out. He offers Kyuhyun an easy smile and then nods at Ryeowook. Ryeowook feels his heart explode.
“Hyung, this is Ryeowook. He’s in love with you.”
Ryeowook had always thought that notions of real-life slow-motion were hyperboles described by dramatic story tellers with the intention of making ordinary stories seem that much more fantastic, but he swears the handful of seconds after Kyuhyun’s utterance lasted lifetimes. He watches Yesung’s smile crumple into a grimace, lips pulled in tight and eyebrows knit together. His own heart wrenches in his chest and he can feel the painful lump in this throat settle in the pit of his stomach as embarrassed tears well up in his eyes. Yesung takes a half-step back, the hand not holding his iPod coming up in front of his chest, as if to wave away the words Kyuhyun has just thrust upon him. Ryeowook hears Kyuhyun say something again, but it only sounds like muffled garble through the roar of blood rushing through his head. Yesung reaches out and grasps his hand and gives it a little shake, such a common, empty gesture that Ryeowook almost wishes Yesung had shoved him away instead. Ryeowook stumbles back, eyes locked on his toes. He whispers out an apology and hurries out the door. He doesn’t stop until he’s in the food court, his feet having carried him without his consent. He’s not even hungry anymore. He feels sick.
“...Wook?” It takes him a few seconds to realize Kyuhyun has caught back up with him and has a hand on his shoulder. He leans down right into Ryeowook’s face and reaches up to cup his cheek. “Are you okay? Why’d you run out?”
Ryeowook squirms out of his grasp and wipes his face clear of the few tears that managed to skate their way down his cheeks. “I’m sorry,” he manages to say. “I wasn’t… I thought he…”
“I’m sorry, Ryeowook,” Kyuhyun tries again. He takes Ryeowook by the elbow again and steers him towards the burger joint. “If it makes you feel better, he graduates in two weeks.”
“How does that make it better?” Ryeowook moans, handing his credit card to the cashier after mindlessly ordering a serving of fries. “I’ll never see him again.”
“I don’t know,” Kyuhyun sighs. The whine that has crept into Kyuhyun’s voice is unsettling. Ryeowook isn’t used to a sympathetic or apologetic Kyuhyun. He wishes he could forget the entire incident. “If I had known it was Yesung you were after I would have introduced you guys months ago, but, Jesus, Yesung is fucking weird. I had no idea he was who you were talking about. Don’t get me wrong, he’s nice and everything, but fucking weird.”
The nauseous feeling strengthens tenfold as Kyuhyun continues to ramble about it. Twentyfold when they join their usual lunchmates at a table in the corner and Kyuhyun relates the tale. Everyone seems to have the same sentiments as Kyuhyun.
“Yesung-hyung?” Hyukjae splutters. “You mean that creepy guy? Scary dude. His aura is messed up. He’s like a ghost or something.”
Donghae is quick to nod his agreement. “I heard he snuck turtles into his dorm and carries at least one of them around with him in his bag. Amber said he had one in class one day.”
“He isn’t even that cute,” Sungmin, the authority on all things aesthetically-pleasing, says.
Ryeowook tries to tune them out as he nibbles at his fries, mourning the loss of his Attractive Mystery Guy. He is still in love with him. That is, he is still in love with the fantasy-man he had dreamed up while delirious from his vigorous studying, and it physically pains him to hear his friends tearing him apart. He lies his head down on the table, pillowed by the crook of his arm, and twirls a fry between his fingers. His blocking-out powers must be getting stronger, he thinks sadly, because he can no longer hear his friends chatting about his misfortune. He’s halfway through congratulating himself when Donghae kicks his shin under the table. He jolts upright and is about to berate Donghae, his mood far too sour to care about being respectful to hyungs, when he sees Donghae discreetly nodding with his head to something behind Ryeowook.
He swivels in his seat and comes face to chest with someone. Tilting his head back, he finds Yesung staring down at him. He looks awkward and apologetic, thumbing the straw in his iced coffee. He shuffles for a second before clearing his throat.
“Uh,” it comes out strained and he has to clear his throat again. Ryeowook can only gawk. “I’m Yesung.”
“Ryeowook,” he hears himself say. Yesung holds his hand out again. Ryeowook feels like he’s in a dream as he reaches out and takes it for the second time that day. Yesung’s palm is warm against his and he doesn’t seem to notice the shake in Ryeowook’s fingers, or if he does he doesn’t mention it.
“Nice to meet you.”
Ryeowook parrots it back at him in a high voice. He hears Hyukjae and Donghae snickering and Sungmin cooing behind his back. He flushes and a sweat breaks out across his back and under his arms. He cannot for the life of him recall any of the smooth pick-up lines he’d crafted in his daydreams, so he sits and ogles at Yesung and prays he doesn’t start crying again.
“Sorry about just now,” Yesung says. Ryeowook could melt, listening to this voice. It’s gravely, yet smooth and a thousand times sexier than what he had imagined. It takes all his willpower to focus on the words Yesung is actually saying. “I didn’t have my head with me, I guess. I was a little embarrassed.”
Ryeowook forces out a laugh, mortified that Yesung is feeling at all uncomfortable because of him. “I am too,” he admits. “I didn’t think Kyuhyun would have done that.”
“Well, I’ve got class in a little bit.”
“Oh, no. That’s fine! Go. It’s okay. You don’t have to-“
“Could I get your number? I’d like to buy you coffee sometime.” Yesung smiles and Ryeowook’s heart soars to a hushed chorus of ooo’s from his friends behind him. Ryeowook taps his number into Yesung’s phone and waves goodbye when Yesung declares he’s late for class. Ryeowook can’t even bring himself to feel guilty as he watches Yesung hurry away because he has his Attractive Mystery Guy’s number saved in his contacts and the promise of coffee in the near future. Kyuhyun claps him on the shoulder and proclaims himself the best friend anyone has ever had and that Ryeowook owes him big time for this.
Ryeowook floats through the rest of his day.
The next morning, he wakes up early, despite the grumblings from his roommate at the early alarm, and rushes into the shower. By the time he returns, Sungmin is sitting up in bed, blanket wrapped around his entire body. He squints at Ryeowook through sleep-crusted eyes and watches him dress in his cleanest pair of jeans and a nice shirt layered with a hoodie.
“Getting dressed for your date already?” Sungmin croaks. “It’s eight-thirty.”
Ryeowook gives him a wary glance over his shoulder. “I won’t have time to come back to the dorm after class. We’re meeting at one.” He zips the hoodie up halfway and fiddles with the hood’s drawstrings, making sure they are artfully, but not sloppily, uneven.
Sungmin gives a grunt of understanding and flops back against his pillows. He reaches under his bed and grabs an open box of cereal and digs his hand into the box. “Want some?”
“I’m not hungry,” Ryeowook refuses, tousling his hair and giving it a quick spritz of hairspray to keep it in place. “This isn’t too much, is it?”
“You look cute. Eat something before you go. Don’t want to get sick and have to cancel on your dreamboat.”
Ryeowook frowns at the sarcasm. He can’t understand why all his friends are so against Yesung. He seems like a perfectly normal student. Maybe he has his quirks, as he’s been told, but doesn’t everybody? Not to mention dreamboat doesn’t even begin to cover Yesung’s good looks. He grumbles under his breath at Sungmin for not appreciating beauty and adds a few bracelets to his outfit. He packs his bag for the day’s classes and shoulders it, deciding once and for all that breakfast is not worth it. He already feels sick enough, nerves eating at his stomach and making him dizzy. He’d rather go hungry than puke on Yesung’s shoes later.
He can barely make it through his two classes, knee bouncing under his desk as he takes sloppy, distracted notes about theater lighting and music composition. He keeps his phone on his lap in order to watch the digital clock count minutes until the end of class. Halfway through his music history class, his phone buzzes with a text. His heart skips a beat when he sees Yesung’s name flash across his screen. He opens the text and reads it three times before it sinks in. the meeting im in might take longer than i thought. Ryeowook quickly replies that it’s no problem, just forget it, sorry for bothering you. Yesung is quick to text back, i’ll tell them i have to leave early and hurry!
That sick feeling doubles. A voice nags at him that this is Yesung’s way of worming out of the, and he hesitates to call it this, date. Despite his assurance to hurry, Ryeowook can already foresee the next message. The one claiming that he cannot get out of his “meeting” early, and can they please reschedule? And then Ryeowook will never hear from him again. A lump in his throat causes him to almost gag, but he swallows it back and allows it slide back into his stomach like a lead weight. Class is dismissed at twelve-fifty and he packs his notebook and pen away with shaky hands.
The walk to Starbucks doesn’t take more than five minutes, so he sits himself in a plush armchair in the corner and waits. For a brief moment, he considers buying his coffee while he waits, but his knees are trembling and he doesn’t think he would make the short walk to the counter. At exactly one o’clock, his phone buzzes with three messages. Two from Sungmin and Kyuhyun, wishing him luck, and the third from Yesung, who claims he’ll still be late. The nausea strengthens and he tries not to barf into the potted plant beside his chair. He tells Kyuhyun and Sungmin what is going on and drops his phone into his bag. His phone is suddenly making him anxious, but the moment he focuses his attention on watching the door for incomers, his anxiety spikes.
It is one-fifteen, according to the wall clock, when Yesung blusters in. He’s wrapping his iPod up in earbud cord and has the most apologetic face that Ryeowook instantly forgets that he was the one left waiting. He makes to stand, to greet Yesung properly, but his knees refuse to unfold.
“Sorry I kept you waiting!” Yesung nearly whines. “It wasn’t supposed to go past twelve-thirty, but no one showed up on time and it got delayed.”
“It’s okay,” Ryeowook squeaks out.
“Listen, I want to apologize for yesterday again. I was embarrassed and probably gave you the wrong impression.”
“No, it’s fine!” Ryeowook waves it off, wishing he could spit out more than three syllables at a time. Yesung still has that apologetic, puppyish look on his face, though, and Ryeowook’s mind is completely wiped clean of vocabulary.
“Let’s get coffee, yeah? Then we can talk somewhere.” He holds out his hand, which Ryeowook warily takes, and hauls Ryeowook up to his feet. “What do you usually get?”
“An iced mocha?” he replies, tottering after Jongwoon to the counter. He unconsciously digs his wallet out of his pocket.
“Tall? Grande?” Yesung smiles at him and he stops in his tracks, heart pounding.
“Small.”
Yesung turns to the cashier and orders and pays for something Ryeowook belatedly recognizes as two drinks. He stuffs his wallet back into his pocket before Yesung can turn around. “I’m surprised they don’t know my order yet. I come in every day.”
“Oh,” Ryeowook says, a little disappointed he didn’t know that already. He could have been seeing Yesung more often, if he had known that. He clears his throat. “What do you get?”
“Espresso shot on ice. Custom order.” Yesung looks a little proud of himself and Ryeowook nearly swoons.
“Isn’t that bitter, though?”
“Not really. I need the caffeine though, to stay awake.”
“You should sleep more,” Ryeowook diagnoses, eyebrows furrowed. He takes his order from the counter when the worker slides it across the counter, then Yesung’s, and hands it to him.
Yesung laughs. “Probably. Do you want to sit outside? The weather is nice.”
Ryeowook nods and they head out he doors to find a quiet place to sit. They end up stretched out on the lawn, elbow to elbow. Ryeowook sips at his drink and stares into the distance. Now that he has Yesung here, he doesn’t know what to say. Yesung takes the lead easily, asking about Ryeowook’s major and classes, filling in about his own as they go. Ryeowook is surprised to learn that Yesung is a music and theater major as well and is amazed they haven’t run into each other more. They talk about traveling, about all the places Yesung has been; Paris, Tokyo, New York, San Francisco. Ryeowook relates that he has only been to China with his parents once. He wants to go to Europe, to Italy and Greece, but he doesn’t have the money just yet. Yesung tells him he has plenty of time to get on that, and suggests study abroad programs from the university. He advises that Ryeowook starts looking now, so when he’s a sophomore he can apply. Ryeowook pouts and says he’s already a sophomore, a junior next semester. Yesung quickly back-peddles when he sees Ryeowook’s face go red with shame, assuring him that it’s better to look young than old, like he does. Ryeowook smiles and tells him that he doesn’t look a day over nineteen.
“Sure,” Yesung laughs. “Doesn’t change the fact that I’m graduating in two weeks, then the army three weeks after that. God, I can’t believe it.” He says is quietly, almost whimsically, to himself. Ryeowook hears it loud and clear and his heart throbs in pain. He must catch the look on Ryeowook’s face, because he quickly changes the subject. “So you’re nineteen. Drink much?”
“A bit,” Ryeowook says, not wanting to sound childish. “It’s hard to get it on campus, though.”
“I know what you mean,” Yesung nods. “When I first transferred here last year I had no idea it was a dry campus. I brought a twenty-four back of beer into my dorm and five minutes later the RA was pounding on my door and made me pour it all out.”
“What a waste!” Ryeowook sympathizes.
“I know,” Yesung nods, taking a sip of his drink. He frowns thoughtfully around the green straw for a second. “Listen, a few friends of mine are getting together tonight. He lives in the apartments near campus. We’re gonna have a few drinks, listen to music, maybe make some food, if you want to come.”
“Really?” Ryeowook blinks at him. There is no way Yesung is asking him to tag along. No way he could possibly hang out with Yesung twice. Twice in one day!
“Why not? You’re pretty cool. It’s only a few of us, so no one will mind. You said you wanted to go to Italy, right? I’ll pick up some Italian beer. It’ll be fun.”
“Okay,” Ryeowook smiles nervously. “It sounds fun.”
They chat a while longer, until a gust of wind has Ryeowook shivering. He mentions the temperature drop since the sky filled with clouds and Yesung squints up at the sky. He agrees and begins to stand up.
“I’d better get going,” he says, offering Ryeowook a hand to help him up. “Gotta get to the store before tonight.”
Ryeowook wants to kick himself for giving Yesung a way out, but he reminds himself not to be selfish. He takes a few steps and is delighted when Yesung follows. Yesung walks him back to the dorm, filling the walk with more idle conversation. Ryeowook feels his heart swell with each step, listening to Yesung’s voice rumble over his words is almost magical. The walk is too short and before he’s quite ready, Ryeowook finds himself staring at the front door to his building. He looks up at Jongwoon, but before he can thank him for walking him back, Yesung makes a face.
“I hope I kind of made up for yesterday. I didn’t think he was serious. Kyuhyun loves to tease everyone, you know? I’m sorry.”
“You keep saying that,” Ryeowook laughs.
“I feel bad.”
“It’s fine, Yesung.”
“Jongwoon.”
Ryeowook looks up at him, puzzled. “Excuse me?”
“My real name is Jongwoon.” He looks away, almost embarrassed, and scratches his head.
“Jongwoon,” Ryeowook tests out, his smile widening around the syllables which seem more musical than Yesung ever did. “I like that better.”
“You’re one of the first, then,” Jongwoon chuckles. “I don’t tell people anymore, really.”
“Why’d you tell me, if you don’t like it?” Ryeowook wonders. He’d meant to keep it a secret pondering, but his curiosity wins him over.
“I don’t know,” Jongwoon shrugs. “It felt right. Jongwoon and Ryeowook. Sounds good, huh?”
Ryeowook bursts out in a short, loud laugh. His knees are shaking and he keeps expecting to wake up every second.
“I’m sorry. That was weird.” Jongwoon grimaces.
“That’s okay,” Ryeowook grins. “You can make it up for it tonight.”
“Definitely. I’ll pick you up at seven-thirty.”
Ryeowook sticks out his hand and Jongwoon takes it with an almost shy smile. They shake, both feeling stupid and exhilarated. Ryeowook turns to unlock the door and waves one last time before heading inside. Peeking out the window, he watches Jongwoon walk away smiling goofily to himself.
His heart tugs when he remembers that Jongwoon is graduating. It sinks into his stomach when he remembers that Jongwoon is enlisting right after. He hates himself for not talking to him eight months ago. He walks back to his room, and when he gets there, falls face-first on his bed with a groan.
“Everything okay?” Sungmin asks, leaning his desk chair back on two legs. “It go alright? I thought you’d be gone longer.”
“It was fine.”
“Attractive Mystery Guy not everything you hoped for?”
“Everything and more,” Ryeowook wails into his pillow. “He’s perfect and I found him and then he’s leaving.”
“Don’t let that ruin things now. Are you going to see him again?” Sungmin comes over and flops beside him.
“Tonight.”
“See? That’s good. That means he’s interested, at least. Keep talking to him, you can still see each other when he graduates. It’s not the end of the world.”
Ryeowook sighs dramatically. Sungmin is right, he tells himself. He peels himself from his bed and grabs the textbook he has to read for his history class. His attention is split between his book, his watch, and this frantic daydreams of the how and what ifs of the next few weeks. He feels the nausea come rushing back. How could he be such a coward and let all those precious months slip by? The hours drag by until seven, when he finally drags himself out of bed and gets ready. He brushes his teeth, breath long-stale from coffee, and fixes his hair again. Sungmin wishes him luck when he walks out the door and Ryeowook feels like he needs it. With his anxious mind buzzing at him again, he’ll be amazed if he doesn’t ruin this second chance with Jongwoon.
Jongwoon is waiting at the door for him, hands dug deep in his pocket, earbuds snugly in place. He takes one side out when Ryeowook exits the building and smiles, his eyes squinting up in the process.
“Ready to go? I bet you get real cute when you’re drunk.” Jongwoon offers out his hand, as if a prince from a fairytale.
Ryeowook falters for a split-second, then takes Jongwoon’s hand. “I bet you’ll be drooling on the table before I get that far,” Ryeowook challenges. Jongwoon laughs and squeezes his fingers.
“We’ll see.”
The knot in Ryeowook’s stomach loosens as Jongwoon begins to drag him off towards the parking lot. With Jongwoon’s warm palm against his own, he thinks, maybe it’s never too late.
Pairing: Yesung/Ryeowook
Wordcount: 5,217
Rating: PG
Summary: AU. Ryeowook is head-over-heels in love with a man he’s never spoken to.
Notes: For Ryeowook’s birthday~ This may or may not be based entirely on true events >___>;;
The first time he sees him is just a few weeks into the fall semester.
Ryeowook is walking back from his politics class around noon. He swipes his card just about sixteen times through the old key-reader lock on the front door of the dorm before the door finally clicks unlocked. He reaches out to pull the door open, but before he can open it himself, it flies open and someone hurries out. Ryeowook squeaks and jumps back to avoid being hit square in the face. In his fright, he barely registers the hurried apology from the man who nearly broke his nose. All he can do is stare, transfixed by the face before him. It is a round face, framed by dark, shaggy locks of hair. His eyes are harshly slanted behind a huge pair of fashionable, yet reminiscently nerdish glasses, and a silver star punctuates his earlobe. His lips are drawn together in a straight line, but they begin to tug downwards into a frown as Ryeowook realizes he still hasn’t said anything and is standing with his keycard lifted in the air like a complete moron. As Ryeowook scrambles to untie his tongue, the stranger gives a little shrug and continues on his way out of the building and down the sidewalk towards campus.
The second time he sees him as only a week later.
Ryeowook decides upon the name “Attractive Mystery Guy.” It suits him, he thinks with a mental pat on the back. Not only does he have a face that threatens to liquefy Ryeowook’s knees, but he finds it odd that they live in the same building and yet no one seems to know who he is. He had brought it up casually to Kim Heechul-two years older than Ryeowook and campus-famous for being the biggest gossip at the university. There isn’t a thing, or person, that Heechul doesn’t know. He thanks his lucky stars for having landed himself within the same basic circle of friends as the campus’s resident diva last year, otherwise he’d have no reason to plop down across from Heechul at dinner in the cafeteria that night.
He tries his best to explain Attractive Mystery Guy’s attractive and mysterious qualities without sounding like an adolescent with a schoolyard crush, but that is exactly what Heechul calls him, although not quite so eloquently.
“You saw the guy for, what, thirty seconds and you expect me to bend over backwards to find him for you?” Heechul picks at his half-frozen dinner and disregards Ryeowook completely.
Ryeowook pouts, impertinent, and glares off at the far wall of the cafeteria. He’s about to huff out a little No!, but it catches in his throat and a strangled “Yes!” escapes his lips instead as he watches a mop of black hair rise from a table near the door. He almost hadn’t recognized it, hidden beneath a baseball cap. By the time he regains Heechul’s attention from the oh-so-interesting Chinese exchange student who mistakenly joined their table, Attractive Mystery Guy is out the door. Ryeowook groans dramatically and flops over the table. Heechul gives him an off-handed pat on the shoulder and returns his attention to sizing up the Chinese student. Ryeowook comforts himself with the fact that Attractive Mystery Guy evidently eats dinner in the cafeteria, thus giving him hope of seeing him again.
He cannot believe it, though, when the next time he sees Attractive Mystery Guy is an entire two months later.
He’s walking to class, bundled up against the blistery December wind that whistles across the concrete wasteland of campus, and he spots him coming down the staircase. He has earbuds in and is messing around with his phone, not paying attention to where he is going. Ryeowook has a momentary impulse to step in front of him and cause another collision, and therefore a conversation, but he remembers how poorly that went last time and regretfully passes him on the stairs without so much of a brush of elbows.
Winter break comes and goes and Spring break is not far behind. He doesn’t see Attractive Mystery Guy for three months and begins to suspect his crush has fallen off the face of the planet. Or had a winter graduation. Classes are winding up towards finals and Ryeowook finds himself with three eight-page papers due in two weeks and a research-project-slash-speech due next Monday. He is unable to focus in his dorm, the Spring weather far too nice to spend days locked in his room. His roommate, Sungmin, is also on his last nerve. Ryeowook can recite Sungmin’s Japanese speech in his sleep, and he’s never even so much as glanced over the notes nor the language. So Ryeowook takes to spending his afternoons and evenings in the campus library, seated at a little desk in front of the huge windows at the front of the building. From there he can keep an eye on the beautiful weather, soak up some sunlight, and revel in the peace and quiet detrimental to his focus.
He also discovers that Attractive Mystery Guy has not fallen off the face of the planet, nor has he had a winter graduation. Almost every day, Ryeowook passes him when he walks to and from the library. He smiles hopefully at him, but Attractive Mystery Guy never looks up from the pavement as he walks, and his earbuds are ever-faithfully tucked into his ears. Ryeowook wishes he could reach out and touch his elbow, stop him on his way, and introduce himself.
He daydreams about it as he tries to read the Wikipedia page of Friedrich Wilhelm von Steuben. He’d be sly and confident, and Attractive Mystery Guy would be so impressed and taken by his charm that they would end up walking back to the dorm together. Their personalities would match so well that Attractive Mystery Guy would decide he cannot live without Ryeowook by his side, and they would skip friendship and dive straight into a relationship. Ryeowook would walk beside him, one of his earbuds in his own ear and their strides would match as they walked to the library. They would study and write papers together. He would take Ryeowook to his room and they would sit on the floor, slurping messy ramen noodles while they swapped stories and kisses.
It’s perfect, Ryeowook thinks, but he can never bring himself to reach out and touch that tanned forearm. Instead, he pleases himself with seeing him every now and then on the sidewalk near the dorms. Ryeowook discovers that he smiles to himself when he listens to music, that he likes Starbucks’ iced coffee, but that he sometimes drinks strawberry smoothies from the library’s café.
Ryeowook is perfectly content to live out the remainder of the year in his own little fantasy world.
Two weeks before finals, he meets up with Cho Kyuhyun for lunch. Kyuhyun is a year below him-not that he acts it-and has become one of Ryeowook’s good friends over the last semester. Kyuhyun is a self-proclaimed genius, and while Ryeowook would normally scoff at such arrogance, his general math grade has buoyed since the freshman offered to tutor him. He waits for Kyuhyun outside the campus Starbucks. Kyuhyun is late and Ryeowook is considering walking to the food court without him and waiting for him at a table laden down with fettuccine Alfredo and cheese rolls and sweet tea. Just as he is about to set off, he sees Kyuhyun come panting up a flight of stairs.
“I was about to leave you,” Ryeowook warns. “You’re always late.”
“Sorry,” Kyuhyun grins, but Ryeowook can tell he doesn’t mean it. “I got caught up talking to someone.”
“That girl from your statistics class?” Ryeowook raises an eyebrow knowingly.
“Maybe.”
“Well, come on. You can tell me about it while we walk. I’m starving.” Ryeowook hitches his bag up higher on his shoulders and turns to walk away.
“Hyung!”
Ryeowook spins around at Kyuhyun’s voice, surprised to hear the honorific fall from his lips. Ryeowook is the youngest amongst most of his friends, and the ones that are younger never call him hyung, much to his annoyance. It is such an annoyance that rushes through his veins when he sees Kyuhyun darting off into Starbucks after someone else. He shouldn’t be surprised, Ryeowook huffs at himself, but dutifully trots after Kyuhyun like a good friend would.
He is just inside the door when he finally recognizes the man Kyuhyun had called out to. His stomach twists into painful knots as he stares at Kyuhyun making friendly conversation with Attractive Mystery Guy. Kyuhyun breaks away quickly enough and rejoins Ryeowook at the door.
“Sorry. I needed to give Yesung-hyung some notes. You’re hungry right? Let’s go.” Kyuhyun takes Ryeowook by the elbow and tries to pull him out the door, but Ryeowook feels like his feet are cemented to the floor. What are the odds? His disrespectful little dongsaeng knows Attractive Mystery Guy. His brain immediately begins tallying up all the times Kyuhyun had teased him or bullied him and he wonders if it is enough to warrant asking Kyuhyun to do him a favor and introduce him. Kyuhyun gives him a harsher tug on his elbow and he stumbles out the door with him, his mind reeling with information. He knows he’s being pulled away from the coffee shop and feels his chance, possibly his only chance, slipping away with each clumsy footstep. And then he realizes something.
“Yesung?” he squeaks. He has a name.
Kyuhyun glances down at him. “Yeah? You know him? He’s in class with me.”
Ryeowook can’t seem to swallow past the lump in his throat, and his brain is screaming a thousand different things, but he can vaguely hear himself whimper out something about Attractive Mystery Guy.Kyuhyun stops in his tracks.
“You mean that guy you’ve been pining after all year is Yesung? Are you kidding me?” A dangerous smirk spreads across Kyuhyun’s face and he changes directions, spinning on heel and dragging Ryeowook back towards Starbucks. His grip is bruising on Ryeowook’s wrist. Ryeowook scrambles to keep up with Kyuhyun’s long, hurried strides, not quite comprehending why he is being taken back into the coffee shop. It all becomes clear when Kyuhyun finally halts at the end of the counter, where the overly-sugary drinks are slid across the counter to customers. Where Attractive Asian Guy-no, where Yesung is waiting. Kyuhyun calls out again, “Hyung!”
Yesung turns around and yanks his earbuds out. He offers Kyuhyun an easy smile and then nods at Ryeowook. Ryeowook feels his heart explode.
“Hyung, this is Ryeowook. He’s in love with you.”
Ryeowook had always thought that notions of real-life slow-motion were hyperboles described by dramatic story tellers with the intention of making ordinary stories seem that much more fantastic, but he swears the handful of seconds after Kyuhyun’s utterance lasted lifetimes. He watches Yesung’s smile crumple into a grimace, lips pulled in tight and eyebrows knit together. His own heart wrenches in his chest and he can feel the painful lump in this throat settle in the pit of his stomach as embarrassed tears well up in his eyes. Yesung takes a half-step back, the hand not holding his iPod coming up in front of his chest, as if to wave away the words Kyuhyun has just thrust upon him. Ryeowook hears Kyuhyun say something again, but it only sounds like muffled garble through the roar of blood rushing through his head. Yesung reaches out and grasps his hand and gives it a little shake, such a common, empty gesture that Ryeowook almost wishes Yesung had shoved him away instead. Ryeowook stumbles back, eyes locked on his toes. He whispers out an apology and hurries out the door. He doesn’t stop until he’s in the food court, his feet having carried him without his consent. He’s not even hungry anymore. He feels sick.
“...Wook?” It takes him a few seconds to realize Kyuhyun has caught back up with him and has a hand on his shoulder. He leans down right into Ryeowook’s face and reaches up to cup his cheek. “Are you okay? Why’d you run out?”
Ryeowook squirms out of his grasp and wipes his face clear of the few tears that managed to skate their way down his cheeks. “I’m sorry,” he manages to say. “I wasn’t… I thought he…”
“I’m sorry, Ryeowook,” Kyuhyun tries again. He takes Ryeowook by the elbow again and steers him towards the burger joint. “If it makes you feel better, he graduates in two weeks.”
“How does that make it better?” Ryeowook moans, handing his credit card to the cashier after mindlessly ordering a serving of fries. “I’ll never see him again.”
“I don’t know,” Kyuhyun sighs. The whine that has crept into Kyuhyun’s voice is unsettling. Ryeowook isn’t used to a sympathetic or apologetic Kyuhyun. He wishes he could forget the entire incident. “If I had known it was Yesung you were after I would have introduced you guys months ago, but, Jesus, Yesung is fucking weird. I had no idea he was who you were talking about. Don’t get me wrong, he’s nice and everything, but fucking weird.”
The nauseous feeling strengthens tenfold as Kyuhyun continues to ramble about it. Twentyfold when they join their usual lunchmates at a table in the corner and Kyuhyun relates the tale. Everyone seems to have the same sentiments as Kyuhyun.
“Yesung-hyung?” Hyukjae splutters. “You mean that creepy guy? Scary dude. His aura is messed up. He’s like a ghost or something.”
Donghae is quick to nod his agreement. “I heard he snuck turtles into his dorm and carries at least one of them around with him in his bag. Amber said he had one in class one day.”
“He isn’t even that cute,” Sungmin, the authority on all things aesthetically-pleasing, says.
Ryeowook tries to tune them out as he nibbles at his fries, mourning the loss of his Attractive Mystery Guy. He is still in love with him. That is, he is still in love with the fantasy-man he had dreamed up while delirious from his vigorous studying, and it physically pains him to hear his friends tearing him apart. He lies his head down on the table, pillowed by the crook of his arm, and twirls a fry between his fingers. His blocking-out powers must be getting stronger, he thinks sadly, because he can no longer hear his friends chatting about his misfortune. He’s halfway through congratulating himself when Donghae kicks his shin under the table. He jolts upright and is about to berate Donghae, his mood far too sour to care about being respectful to hyungs, when he sees Donghae discreetly nodding with his head to something behind Ryeowook.
He swivels in his seat and comes face to chest with someone. Tilting his head back, he finds Yesung staring down at him. He looks awkward and apologetic, thumbing the straw in his iced coffee. He shuffles for a second before clearing his throat.
“Uh,” it comes out strained and he has to clear his throat again. Ryeowook can only gawk. “I’m Yesung.”
“Ryeowook,” he hears himself say. Yesung holds his hand out again. Ryeowook feels like he’s in a dream as he reaches out and takes it for the second time that day. Yesung’s palm is warm against his and he doesn’t seem to notice the shake in Ryeowook’s fingers, or if he does he doesn’t mention it.
“Nice to meet you.”
Ryeowook parrots it back at him in a high voice. He hears Hyukjae and Donghae snickering and Sungmin cooing behind his back. He flushes and a sweat breaks out across his back and under his arms. He cannot for the life of him recall any of the smooth pick-up lines he’d crafted in his daydreams, so he sits and ogles at Yesung and prays he doesn’t start crying again.
“Sorry about just now,” Yesung says. Ryeowook could melt, listening to this voice. It’s gravely, yet smooth and a thousand times sexier than what he had imagined. It takes all his willpower to focus on the words Yesung is actually saying. “I didn’t have my head with me, I guess. I was a little embarrassed.”
Ryeowook forces out a laugh, mortified that Yesung is feeling at all uncomfortable because of him. “I am too,” he admits. “I didn’t think Kyuhyun would have done that.”
“Well, I’ve got class in a little bit.”
“Oh, no. That’s fine! Go. It’s okay. You don’t have to-“
“Could I get your number? I’d like to buy you coffee sometime.” Yesung smiles and Ryeowook’s heart soars to a hushed chorus of ooo’s from his friends behind him. Ryeowook taps his number into Yesung’s phone and waves goodbye when Yesung declares he’s late for class. Ryeowook can’t even bring himself to feel guilty as he watches Yesung hurry away because he has his Attractive Mystery Guy’s number saved in his contacts and the promise of coffee in the near future. Kyuhyun claps him on the shoulder and proclaims himself the best friend anyone has ever had and that Ryeowook owes him big time for this.
Ryeowook floats through the rest of his day.
The next morning, he wakes up early, despite the grumblings from his roommate at the early alarm, and rushes into the shower. By the time he returns, Sungmin is sitting up in bed, blanket wrapped around his entire body. He squints at Ryeowook through sleep-crusted eyes and watches him dress in his cleanest pair of jeans and a nice shirt layered with a hoodie.
“Getting dressed for your date already?” Sungmin croaks. “It’s eight-thirty.”
Ryeowook gives him a wary glance over his shoulder. “I won’t have time to come back to the dorm after class. We’re meeting at one.” He zips the hoodie up halfway and fiddles with the hood’s drawstrings, making sure they are artfully, but not sloppily, uneven.
Sungmin gives a grunt of understanding and flops back against his pillows. He reaches under his bed and grabs an open box of cereal and digs his hand into the box. “Want some?”
“I’m not hungry,” Ryeowook refuses, tousling his hair and giving it a quick spritz of hairspray to keep it in place. “This isn’t too much, is it?”
“You look cute. Eat something before you go. Don’t want to get sick and have to cancel on your dreamboat.”
Ryeowook frowns at the sarcasm. He can’t understand why all his friends are so against Yesung. He seems like a perfectly normal student. Maybe he has his quirks, as he’s been told, but doesn’t everybody? Not to mention dreamboat doesn’t even begin to cover Yesung’s good looks. He grumbles under his breath at Sungmin for not appreciating beauty and adds a few bracelets to his outfit. He packs his bag for the day’s classes and shoulders it, deciding once and for all that breakfast is not worth it. He already feels sick enough, nerves eating at his stomach and making him dizzy. He’d rather go hungry than puke on Yesung’s shoes later.
He can barely make it through his two classes, knee bouncing under his desk as he takes sloppy, distracted notes about theater lighting and music composition. He keeps his phone on his lap in order to watch the digital clock count minutes until the end of class. Halfway through his music history class, his phone buzzes with a text. His heart skips a beat when he sees Yesung’s name flash across his screen. He opens the text and reads it three times before it sinks in. the meeting im in might take longer than i thought. Ryeowook quickly replies that it’s no problem, just forget it, sorry for bothering you. Yesung is quick to text back, i’ll tell them i have to leave early and hurry!
That sick feeling doubles. A voice nags at him that this is Yesung’s way of worming out of the, and he hesitates to call it this, date. Despite his assurance to hurry, Ryeowook can already foresee the next message. The one claiming that he cannot get out of his “meeting” early, and can they please reschedule? And then Ryeowook will never hear from him again. A lump in his throat causes him to almost gag, but he swallows it back and allows it slide back into his stomach like a lead weight. Class is dismissed at twelve-fifty and he packs his notebook and pen away with shaky hands.
The walk to Starbucks doesn’t take more than five minutes, so he sits himself in a plush armchair in the corner and waits. For a brief moment, he considers buying his coffee while he waits, but his knees are trembling and he doesn’t think he would make the short walk to the counter. At exactly one o’clock, his phone buzzes with three messages. Two from Sungmin and Kyuhyun, wishing him luck, and the third from Yesung, who claims he’ll still be late. The nausea strengthens and he tries not to barf into the potted plant beside his chair. He tells Kyuhyun and Sungmin what is going on and drops his phone into his bag. His phone is suddenly making him anxious, but the moment he focuses his attention on watching the door for incomers, his anxiety spikes.
It is one-fifteen, according to the wall clock, when Yesung blusters in. He’s wrapping his iPod up in earbud cord and has the most apologetic face that Ryeowook instantly forgets that he was the one left waiting. He makes to stand, to greet Yesung properly, but his knees refuse to unfold.
“Sorry I kept you waiting!” Yesung nearly whines. “It wasn’t supposed to go past twelve-thirty, but no one showed up on time and it got delayed.”
“It’s okay,” Ryeowook squeaks out.
“Listen, I want to apologize for yesterday again. I was embarrassed and probably gave you the wrong impression.”
“No, it’s fine!” Ryeowook waves it off, wishing he could spit out more than three syllables at a time. Yesung still has that apologetic, puppyish look on his face, though, and Ryeowook’s mind is completely wiped clean of vocabulary.
“Let’s get coffee, yeah? Then we can talk somewhere.” He holds out his hand, which Ryeowook warily takes, and hauls Ryeowook up to his feet. “What do you usually get?”
“An iced mocha?” he replies, tottering after Jongwoon to the counter. He unconsciously digs his wallet out of his pocket.
“Tall? Grande?” Yesung smiles at him and he stops in his tracks, heart pounding.
“Small.”
Yesung turns to the cashier and orders and pays for something Ryeowook belatedly recognizes as two drinks. He stuffs his wallet back into his pocket before Yesung can turn around. “I’m surprised they don’t know my order yet. I come in every day.”
“Oh,” Ryeowook says, a little disappointed he didn’t know that already. He could have been seeing Yesung more often, if he had known that. He clears his throat. “What do you get?”
“Espresso shot on ice. Custom order.” Yesung looks a little proud of himself and Ryeowook nearly swoons.
“Isn’t that bitter, though?”
“Not really. I need the caffeine though, to stay awake.”
“You should sleep more,” Ryeowook diagnoses, eyebrows furrowed. He takes his order from the counter when the worker slides it across the counter, then Yesung’s, and hands it to him.
Yesung laughs. “Probably. Do you want to sit outside? The weather is nice.”
Ryeowook nods and they head out he doors to find a quiet place to sit. They end up stretched out on the lawn, elbow to elbow. Ryeowook sips at his drink and stares into the distance. Now that he has Yesung here, he doesn’t know what to say. Yesung takes the lead easily, asking about Ryeowook’s major and classes, filling in about his own as they go. Ryeowook is surprised to learn that Yesung is a music and theater major as well and is amazed they haven’t run into each other more. They talk about traveling, about all the places Yesung has been; Paris, Tokyo, New York, San Francisco. Ryeowook relates that he has only been to China with his parents once. He wants to go to Europe, to Italy and Greece, but he doesn’t have the money just yet. Yesung tells him he has plenty of time to get on that, and suggests study abroad programs from the university. He advises that Ryeowook starts looking now, so when he’s a sophomore he can apply. Ryeowook pouts and says he’s already a sophomore, a junior next semester. Yesung quickly back-peddles when he sees Ryeowook’s face go red with shame, assuring him that it’s better to look young than old, like he does. Ryeowook smiles and tells him that he doesn’t look a day over nineteen.
“Sure,” Yesung laughs. “Doesn’t change the fact that I’m graduating in two weeks, then the army three weeks after that. God, I can’t believe it.” He says is quietly, almost whimsically, to himself. Ryeowook hears it loud and clear and his heart throbs in pain. He must catch the look on Ryeowook’s face, because he quickly changes the subject. “So you’re nineteen. Drink much?”
“A bit,” Ryeowook says, not wanting to sound childish. “It’s hard to get it on campus, though.”
“I know what you mean,” Yesung nods. “When I first transferred here last year I had no idea it was a dry campus. I brought a twenty-four back of beer into my dorm and five minutes later the RA was pounding on my door and made me pour it all out.”
“What a waste!” Ryeowook sympathizes.
“I know,” Yesung nods, taking a sip of his drink. He frowns thoughtfully around the green straw for a second. “Listen, a few friends of mine are getting together tonight. He lives in the apartments near campus. We’re gonna have a few drinks, listen to music, maybe make some food, if you want to come.”
“Really?” Ryeowook blinks at him. There is no way Yesung is asking him to tag along. No way he could possibly hang out with Yesung twice. Twice in one day!
“Why not? You’re pretty cool. It’s only a few of us, so no one will mind. You said you wanted to go to Italy, right? I’ll pick up some Italian beer. It’ll be fun.”
“Okay,” Ryeowook smiles nervously. “It sounds fun.”
They chat a while longer, until a gust of wind has Ryeowook shivering. He mentions the temperature drop since the sky filled with clouds and Yesung squints up at the sky. He agrees and begins to stand up.
“I’d better get going,” he says, offering Ryeowook a hand to help him up. “Gotta get to the store before tonight.”
Ryeowook wants to kick himself for giving Yesung a way out, but he reminds himself not to be selfish. He takes a few steps and is delighted when Yesung follows. Yesung walks him back to the dorm, filling the walk with more idle conversation. Ryeowook feels his heart swell with each step, listening to Yesung’s voice rumble over his words is almost magical. The walk is too short and before he’s quite ready, Ryeowook finds himself staring at the front door to his building. He looks up at Jongwoon, but before he can thank him for walking him back, Yesung makes a face.
“I hope I kind of made up for yesterday. I didn’t think he was serious. Kyuhyun loves to tease everyone, you know? I’m sorry.”
“You keep saying that,” Ryeowook laughs.
“I feel bad.”
“It’s fine, Yesung.”
“Jongwoon.”
Ryeowook looks up at him, puzzled. “Excuse me?”
“My real name is Jongwoon.” He looks away, almost embarrassed, and scratches his head.
“Jongwoon,” Ryeowook tests out, his smile widening around the syllables which seem more musical than Yesung ever did. “I like that better.”
“You’re one of the first, then,” Jongwoon chuckles. “I don’t tell people anymore, really.”
“Why’d you tell me, if you don’t like it?” Ryeowook wonders. He’d meant to keep it a secret pondering, but his curiosity wins him over.
“I don’t know,” Jongwoon shrugs. “It felt right. Jongwoon and Ryeowook. Sounds good, huh?”
Ryeowook bursts out in a short, loud laugh. His knees are shaking and he keeps expecting to wake up every second.
“I’m sorry. That was weird.” Jongwoon grimaces.
“That’s okay,” Ryeowook grins. “You can make it up for it tonight.”
“Definitely. I’ll pick you up at seven-thirty.”
Ryeowook sticks out his hand and Jongwoon takes it with an almost shy smile. They shake, both feeling stupid and exhilarated. Ryeowook turns to unlock the door and waves one last time before heading inside. Peeking out the window, he watches Jongwoon walk away smiling goofily to himself.
His heart tugs when he remembers that Jongwoon is graduating. It sinks into his stomach when he remembers that Jongwoon is enlisting right after. He hates himself for not talking to him eight months ago. He walks back to his room, and when he gets there, falls face-first on his bed with a groan.
“Everything okay?” Sungmin asks, leaning his desk chair back on two legs. “It go alright? I thought you’d be gone longer.”
“It was fine.”
“Attractive Mystery Guy not everything you hoped for?”
“Everything and more,” Ryeowook wails into his pillow. “He’s perfect and I found him and then he’s leaving.”
“Don’t let that ruin things now. Are you going to see him again?” Sungmin comes over and flops beside him.
“Tonight.”
“See? That’s good. That means he’s interested, at least. Keep talking to him, you can still see each other when he graduates. It’s not the end of the world.”
Ryeowook sighs dramatically. Sungmin is right, he tells himself. He peels himself from his bed and grabs the textbook he has to read for his history class. His attention is split between his book, his watch, and this frantic daydreams of the how and what ifs of the next few weeks. He feels the nausea come rushing back. How could he be such a coward and let all those precious months slip by? The hours drag by until seven, when he finally drags himself out of bed and gets ready. He brushes his teeth, breath long-stale from coffee, and fixes his hair again. Sungmin wishes him luck when he walks out the door and Ryeowook feels like he needs it. With his anxious mind buzzing at him again, he’ll be amazed if he doesn’t ruin this second chance with Jongwoon.
Jongwoon is waiting at the door for him, hands dug deep in his pocket, earbuds snugly in place. He takes one side out when Ryeowook exits the building and smiles, his eyes squinting up in the process.
“Ready to go? I bet you get real cute when you’re drunk.” Jongwoon offers out his hand, as if a prince from a fairytale.
Ryeowook falters for a split-second, then takes Jongwoon’s hand. “I bet you’ll be drooling on the table before I get that far,” Ryeowook challenges. Jongwoon laughs and squeezes his fingers.
“We’ll see.”
The knot in Ryeowook’s stomach loosens as Jongwoon begins to drag him off towards the parking lot. With Jongwoon’s warm palm against his own, he thinks, maybe it’s never too late.