Bah Humbug!
So...let's begin. Every once in a while I'll rant. This is one of those posts. I warn you now because I love you. All right? Here goes:
This is a list, in no exact order of things that make the winter holiday season unbearable for me. I'm still hopeful that the coming Christmas may have a sliver of happiness with my name on it but I do not hold my breath. Alley-oop!
I was born on Christmas.
I have spent more Christmas's alone than I care to remember.
I've spent the last 2 Christmases eating dinner with my plush cat Luna. (and she sits there and berates me)
This will be my first Christmas where I cannot wish someone a Merry one because they have passed to the next life before their time. (RIP Alex. Till All Are One)
I realize that my life is being sucked out of me during this time.
At family gatherings during the season, a point is made to discuss how successful the other offspring of the family are and how I am, in simple and polite terms, a waste. (My son's a doctor. Well my daughter's an lawyer. My kids own Wall Street. Van...well...how are your kids?)
That I fall into a depression during the season because of several of these reasons listed.
I turn 21 on this holiday.
That I feel so bad and that I know for a fact that others have it much worse. (for I am a selfish fool)
That I feel this way and it brings my friends down around me. (I'm sorry, guys)
Did I mention my family has never been positive about me?
I'm still alone.
Fear, anger, hate, suffering. The dark side are they. And they are all that consume me during the winter festive season.
That I cannot remember the last time I was happy on Dec. 25th.
Just a few jolly facts that I needed to get off of my chest. In case I seem short with you at all during the holidays, please pay it no mind. I don't mean it. I'm just in a rut.
Seasons Greetings to All.
This is a list, in no exact order of things that make the winter holiday season unbearable for me. I'm still hopeful that the coming Christmas may have a sliver of happiness with my name on it but I do not hold my breath. Alley-oop!
I was born on Christmas.
I have spent more Christmas's alone than I care to remember.
I've spent the last 2 Christmases eating dinner with my plush cat Luna. (and she sits there and berates me)
This will be my first Christmas where I cannot wish someone a Merry one because they have passed to the next life before their time. (RIP Alex. Till All Are One)
I realize that my life is being sucked out of me during this time.
At family gatherings during the season, a point is made to discuss how successful the other offspring of the family are and how I am, in simple and polite terms, a waste. (My son's a doctor. Well my daughter's an lawyer. My kids own Wall Street. Van...well...how are your kids?)
That I fall into a depression during the season because of several of these reasons listed.
I turn 21 on this holiday.
That I feel so bad and that I know for a fact that others have it much worse. (for I am a selfish fool)
That I feel this way and it brings my friends down around me. (I'm sorry, guys)
Did I mention my family has never been positive about me?
I'm still alone.
Fear, anger, hate, suffering. The dark side are they. And they are all that consume me during the winter festive season.
That I cannot remember the last time I was happy on Dec. 25th.
Just a few jolly facts that I needed to get off of my chest. In case I seem short with you at all during the holidays, please pay it no mind. I don't mean it. I'm just in a rut.
Seasons Greetings to All.