[YamaChii] Eye-risque Planetarium [3/?]
The Eye-risque Planetarium
© ainomesseji
Genre: Slice of Life, Romance, Drama, Angst. Pairing: YamaChii, One-sided ChiiTaro
Summary: Never once in his life did he imagine nor have had this double thinking that someone he trusted with everything that he has and with everything that he loves, will be the first person who will be the one to break into pieces the person that means the world to him and his heart. Worst of it all, it’s not just anyone else. It’s not just a friend or a mere acquaintance. It’s a person that he holds close, a family. It’s his beloved younger brother.
Part Three
When Everything Simply Hurts
…
The dreary silence has been eating them away for quite some time now. However, it did not matter because the silence wrapped around them. It is the most plausible thing that they can hold on to. Because what will follow after, it will be something bitter. Something that is mind blowing that will dent quite a lot-maybe not much to a concerned friend, but to a soldier and a lover, surely it will. It positively will, just like a knife that is stabbed hilt deep into the remnants of a broken heart. So Yuto, he is preparing for the worst. He is preparing for the worst that is yet to come, which is the impact of the great fall-a soldier’s Armageddon and a lover’s last note before suicide.
But before all that, he needs to break the tense silence and he needs to muster up all the courage he has to be able to say the truth that’s been hidden from his best friend all this time. "Nee, Yama-chan…” Yuto began, while his disoriented best friend only gave him a nod as an acknowledgement that he is still there, keenly listening, just not in the mood to response. Not for a while, because something just scares him to the core. Something relating to his instinctual call earlier of why no one has given him a nice and warm welcome home, plus, the nudging feeling in his guts that his best friend, Nakajima Yuto, appearing here than his little brother or Yuri is not something he should be grateful or even thankful about.
“Well, I really don’t know how I’ll start this since I know you've just gotten home, Yama-chan, and I know that this isn’t really the right time. But there's something you have to know. I-rather, we really can’t keep you in the dark. Not with this, just not with this. Because whatever I’ll be telling you now is important to you, since it is about Yuri and your little brother Ryuu,” And Yuto’s voice trembled as he spoke, because there is something-a kind of pang in his chest that make him want to tear up and just run away. It’s like there is this heavy feeling in his heart that wants to desperately protect his best friend from hurting. Not like this, because the man is a good man. He is a Good Samaritan that doesn’t deserve any of this. He really doesn’t. Because for a man who is always prioritizing others before his own self, giving others what they need even if he has none left, and even sacrificing his own life to protect people who are not even related to his blood. Such tragic news like this shouldn’t come and even be heard off. Not with those ears that always listen and understands. What more, precious things in this man’s life shouldn’t be hurt and tarnished like this, because they don’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve it even more. Not even an inch and an ounce of it. But, what is he to do? None of them expected this, not even Yuri. So, there is really nothing left. No option, but to promptly tell his best friend, this generous and kind soul of what’s left behind-the remnants of the fall of all the things he ever loved.
Shaking his head, Ryosuke gave in a sigh before he asked. Since, he really can’t pin point where this topic is leading them. After all, he is still tired from the long journey and is still very much concerned of the why there isn’t anybody home for him. “I don’t understand you, Yutti. What are you pointing at?” Ryosuke’s voice croaked and altered into a sound that is begging Yuto to shut up and just stop. However, even if he really wants to, he just can’t. Because it is better now than later, when all is far too late, when nothing more can be fixed and when everything is just fully broken.
Yuto tried to smile, but it just turned out into an awkward facial expression that somehow lightened the stiff facial feature of his friend. “Well…" Yuto stilled, before he whispered to his best friend, with his eyes downcast to the ground, what happened a few months after Ryosuke left. Especially of what his little brother did and how his little love’s condition is now.
And time stilled after that as Ryosuke processes everything that is there to understand, learn and accept-not. Because no, it can’t be; this is all a lie. Since such situation will never happen, these are all just a crude joke-a lie. Because his little brother Ryutaro, his precious baby brother, the one he raised on his own, touching his Yuri-claiming him, tarnishing him, ruining him body and soul-raping him until he breaks and shatters, is not true.
Because his little baby brother, precious little thing breaking his little love, touching him to places that even he has not even seen or dared touch out of love and respect-out of pure intention and the importance of it, just forcing it? No, surely no, because his little baby brother, his Ryutaro, whom he did all he can to supplement the love that their dead parents cannot give. His little baby brother, his precious Ryuu, whom he’d die working just to fend for the necessity and the leisure-just to give everything that he can to show how much he loves him, won’t leave him and trade him to anyone else. Will be the same baby brother, the same fucking sweet baby brother, who will break and left dying, with the fear and the pain, the most precious person that is carrying his world and his heart? That’s bullshit. He won’t ever believe that. No. Because his baby brother, Ryosuke knows, loves him so. After all Big brother did everything-every, fucking thing he can to give his little brother the best life he can even without their parents. He did every fucking thing he can to make the eighteen years of his little brother’s life worth it’s every while. So, no-he won’t believe this bullshit. It’s just preposterous, yet why does his heart kept on telling him that this all happened, that Yuto won’t lie and everything occurring now is not a dream but is so very, very real.
“Yama-chan… hey, Ryosuke…” Yuto’s voice echoed with concern as he touched his best friend’s shoulder, shaking him a little to get something-just something to reassure Yuto that he is still there and not shutting down on him. But the retired soldier didn’t give any kind of acknowledgement to his words, and just continue on to stare blankly at an empty wall; seemingly looking for something and soullessly searching for something-anything to get him by and save him from the all-around thoughts running through his head and killing him flat out. And seeing this…seeing this painful sight before him. It made Yuto think that maybe what he did was wrong. That maybe, this is really not the right time and the right moment to tell his best friend all of this. And that maybe his best friend is still too tired from everything. After all, he has just gotten home from such a tired and lonely journey. Yuto shouldn’t have pushed these thoughts out of the blue. That’s why he tried to amend by shifting topic.
Well, not until he heard Ryosuke spoke with a chilling voice that is barren of any emotions, even empathy.
"Tell me everything.”
And those alarmed Yuto a bit, it scared him really, because never in his entire life has he ever heard Yamada Ryosuke, civilian or a soldier, speak words as cold as ice like this. But since everything is here now, the truth and the one who needs to know the truth, Yuto began. And as he did tell his best friend everything No lies or interludes attached. Words per words, syllables per syllables about the truth of what Ryutaro did to Yuri and what happened to Yuri afterwards. Yuto's heart, it slowly shatters and breaks. Because at the very moment he is seeing with his very eyes, the one thing he didn’t want to see on his best friend’s sweet façade, and that’s a strong soldier's world fully crashing down and dying without any means to fight or any means of second chances for survival.
"So, it really is true. Yuri, M-My Yu-Yuri…ra-raped…used and tainted by my own little brother…my own flesh and blood," Ryosuke stated hauntingly with a broken trembling voice, before he looked up and began to search desperately-looking, searching and deliberately trying and forcing to insert humor in such words that he believes (desperately want to believe) is a joke-a white lie, in his best friend's dark irises. Yet, there's no malice there, just the truth of how reality bites hard and can kill inside. "I'm sorry, Yama-chan." Yuto wanted to give his best friend a hug, a tight and comforting hug, just to reassure that things will work out fine and that eventually things will get better. Though, he's scared, really, really scared that he might not be able to pick the pieces of his best friend's broken heart afterwards, because, he’s really not that strong and not that emotionally capable to handle such as his best friend, whom ever since has been so kind, loving, accepting and understanding even through the great loses and struggles in their life.
So Yuto, he really did not know now what to do or even what to say, before-snap, a sickening sound of laughter and wrecking sound of sobs echoed through the house, and Yuto didn't know what more to do to help, especially now that his best friend is losing it and is hanging desperately by a thread. Because as the truth slowly unfolds to Ryosuke, he didn't know what more to do, what more to say, and what more to think, because such revelation, it left him speechless and broken on the ice cold floor. Writhing, like he is clamored with fever, crying like he is a new born child. Because in every sentence formed and in every syllable lamented; he shatters and breaks.
He dies from such grievous heartache.
But no, he thinks. No, it can't be. Never will these happen. It never will. Because he knows, no one will ever hurt his Yuri, especially not him, most especially not him, not Ryuu, because he have done everything to make his baby brother happy. He gave all his life to make the people he loves happy. So-"Enough, okay Yutti? Enough please..." Ryosuke begged, while Yuto looked lost. What’s happening now? “Seriously, Yutti, you clown. Stop kidding around and just fucking quit spouting lies..." Ryosuke tried to crack a joke, before he wiped his tears with the back of his hand as he stands. And, he’s fighting. He’s desperately fighting for the lies he pushes in his mind. Because that’s the only escape he can think of. That’s the only thing he can do to keep his mind from eating him alive. However, a few gratified moments later, Ryosuke's knees began to buckle up as the emotional trauma, the stress and the tiredness from the journey slowly took its toll on him and he fell-almost, because before he could even reach the ground. Keito, Yuto's lover and Yamada's comrade, pulled him up to get it all back together, just in the nick of time.
"Wipe your tears and stand soldier, this is just another battlefield you must fight against. So don’t give up now, things will turn out okay in the end, I promise. You’ll get through this. You and Yuri will." Keito's words rang on the inside of Ryosuke's head, swiveling there and giving a new set of hope. Because Keito’s right, everything will be alright. After all, he is Yamada Ryosuke, an ex-soldier, who stood over death once. So, he'll fix this all. He'll fix his Yuri. He'll fix the mistakes he has ever done to his baby brother. And continue on, just continue on to aim for the future that he and his Yuri will build together-just like a happily ever after, just like as what has been promised together the night before he left for the war. Because if the people he loves cannot fight, he'll fight for them all. He'll carry them all until he dies.
"...Could I see him, my little one?" Ryosuke's voice was hoarse and very much raw from crying when he asked Yuto and Keito where his Yuri is. And those words, it made Keito smile. "Of course, but tomorrow, Yama-chan, okay? For now, come with us to eat and sleep. You'll need it. Tomorrow will be a long battle ahead."
And Ryosuke complied with the sweetest of smile, as he took his belongings, closed the door to his family home and followed his two friends with the glint of hope, yet still the saddest of eyes. "I'll fix everything, Yuri. So, please hold on a little longer and wait for me, okay? I'm here now. I'll do anything…anything to bring you back to what you once were."
…
To be continued
Author’s Note: This story will be filled with quite a lot of angst. And, tomorrow is Yama-chan's birthday yet I can't give him anything but angst. I'll try to post again tomorrow. Thank you and I hope everyone enjoyed. …