[YamaChii] The Eyes of the Beholder
The Eyes of the Beholder
© ainomesseji
Genre: Alternative Universe, Romance, Slice of Life, Drama Pairing: YamaChii
Summary: Sometimes, it just takes two eyes to accept. It takes one lips to fix something before it's fully broken. And most of the times, it just takes a heart to learn to love beyond what the eyes and the mind can ever see. After all, acceptance will always be the key, the safest place and the healing remedy. And that's what makes of this story, because this story is about a love so selfless and so beautiful that will make everyone rethink and re-evaluate, especially of how many people they've hurt by simply denying them the chance to spread their wings and fly up above into the deep blue sky.
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“...and, who would ever love you? Who? Answer me, who? Who would ever love someone like you? Who? No one! No one, because whom in their right mind would ever love a monster…a monster like you-a beast.”
It's more of their judgment. Their hallow statement, and their scorn towards what I really am, rather than a question that can be answered still by a reason-a correction. But since it wasn’t, I really can’t do much more but accept it and live with it. Although against all odds, even if the world scorns me a lot, hates me more than enough to last me a lifetime, and treats me as if I should have not existed, should have not been born, or even was allowed to step into the reality that could never fit me in. He still loved me. He still chose me over the rest of the world, even if in return he knows that he'll get judged. He'll get hurt. He'll fall. Yet still, even behind all of these... behind all the truths splattered in front of him, even behind all my pleas for him to go away now, leave me be and try to live without me, especially before all is too late. I was gradually shrugged off with a hug and a sweet and understanding smile that melted my heart more, colored my world more and glittered my existence with happiness I didn’t know I had, before he took my hand with his and pulled me into a hold that made tears uncontrollably fall.
And Chinen Yuri, he simply just makes me feel weak-too weak, because he understands me well-too well that I can’t even think of a day existing without him by my side. His scent, his smile, his jokes that are beyond sarcastic than humorous, his hugs, his kisses, his possessive nature, his cuddle time-his whole existence, really. I can’t think of living without those in my life, because. Just because, behind all the truths, he still learned to accept every bits of me. He still learned to live with who I am, without any judgment or convictions. But most importantly, he never ceased to amaze me, because he's doing it all because...
"I love you, Ryosuke." He whispered against my ears, before he brushed his lips against mine, lingering a few seconds before a grin appeared on his face. "Say you love me. Say you love Yuri too, Ryosuke! Or I might go away and-" he was only planning to kid around, just a joke he said into his head. But before he could even finish his little speech, his voice was left stuck somewhere in his throat, because the man holding him now, tightly, took him by a surprise. He made Yuri's heart jump in every aspect that touched the little one’s big heart more.
"Yuri, I love you. I really, really do." I desperately whispered into his ear as tears began on to fall. Because for such an ugly man like me, with nothing but imperfections and heartaches enclosed inside the mind, heart and soul. He still has chosen the least best that he could ever have, and the least of all the people who can love him more than I could ever give him. That's why, when I found out that he's been undergoing treatment because of his imaginary big yet physically weak heart. I made a choice. A choice that I know he won't ever forgive, at least not easily. But I know, on my part, I would never ever regret on doing, because I love him. I love him so much that I want him to continue on living. He's all worth it. Because he made me feel what no other person could or rather would have given me, which is acceptance and trust, affection and appreciation, realization and beauty beyond gratification.
Love
That's why, despite the burnt skin, the scarred face and the broken I-Yamada Ryosuke. Chinen Yuri, he still learned to teach me how to love and accept who and what I am wholly. He gave me an enough reason to enjoy life without feeling the need to hide and feel insecure. Because Chinen Yuri, he taught me something special, something the world should also see and learn as they go into the road of their life.
"I'm not beautiful, Yuri. You can actually see that. It's quite obvious." I growled as I pointed at myself for emphasis and that made him frown. "Beauty does not reside on how you look physically, Ryosuke. Whoever taught you that?" He tilted his head to the side, before he smiled and leaned in close to me as he captured my hands with his, lacing it together as if afraid of losing the hold and accidentally letting go. "You're beautiful, Ryosuke." He voiced out as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, making my brows crinkle in frustration. And he knows me well. He knows me freakily well that he knew in a blink that I was highly going to protest; that's why before I could even retaliate, his lips laid atop of mine in a loving kiss, "No, Ryosuke," he nodded his head in disagreement, as if he had read my mind. "You're beautiful, very, very beautiful. So don't hide yourself because of what people tells you. It's no importance, because believe me, Ryosuke. You're worth more than they ever could, because I would have not turned my back on everything-my family, my friends and the society, if you weren’t that special and that beautiful in my eyes. After all..." his little palms cupped my flushed cheeks, while his thumbs traced away the tears. "You are the most beautiful of them all in my eyes, didn't you know?" He chuckled as he nuzzled our nose together, before smiling that beautiful smile of his. "I know but..." I wanted to just reason out, tell him I can't grasp still the why. But, what left me in awe silence were the words that came not only from his lips, but also from his eyes that never seems to lie. "No but's, just because Ryosuke, just because beauty is an inborn trait of each one of us. We all have it, because we are born with this. We have this, and that's what makes us shine." He pointed at my heart, and I looked at him baffled and more confuse than ever. "A heart, how?" I questioned. I asked. And just like always, he just nodded childishly, before sealing our conversation with a kiss for me to stop my thoughts and just enjoy living my life.
And he has always been like that, imposing to me and to my heart that these things that he says are the most obvious things in the world. Implying to me, that it's so common and the most natural thing, that's why I should not rebuke or reason out for my own why. Since, it just goes that way. It’s a part of reality-a part of life.
And that’s one of the reason why I am doing this, why I insist on doing this and why I believe that my beautiful Chinen Yuri should live and still be allowed to fly against the blue colored sky. He can still touch so many lives. Lives that are broken beyond repair, yet still he fixed with his big and kind heart.
"I love you, Yuri." I kissed his temple, while my fingers combed his soft, black hair. "...Ry'ske..." He slurred as he held on to my other hand tight. I guess the anesthetics has kicked in. "...I 'ove...you..." He tried to mutter out, but it couldn't turn out right as much as he wanted to. The drugs were slowly taking over his little body. And once he falls asleep, he'll undergo surgery and be given his new heart.
"...I know, love." I brought his small hand to my lips as I kissed his knuckles, making him smile. "...see...'ou soon..." He mumbled wholeheartedly as he slowly gave in to the drugs. But before, he slept. Somehow, I think he already knows what will be when he wakes up, because before he allowed sleep to capture him, a single tear rolled down his cheek and smile so breathtakingly beautiful and heart-shattering stayed on his lips the whole time.
And as my little love sleeps, I too, gently closed my eyes as I let go of his hand and leaned down to kiss his lips for the last time.
But, "I love you so much." He said. "I won’t wish for anything in this world but you." He said. "Always you and I forever," He said. He promised. And that's what kept me hanging and living for the past few years. And, honestly, I don't even regret anything. I feel gratified enough and blessed enough to feel contentment. So, this one thing I did. I know, he'll understand. This sacrifice I made out of my love for him, I know he'll not forgive easily, but in due time. Because, I know that he knows that this choice of mine is the only selfish thing I did for myself. And also, I know that he knows that even if we are no longer physically together. I am always with him, no matter what. Because despite of all the pretenses and judgments of the world of my scarred face, burnt skin and ugliness over-all, he made me understand how to love myself more, as well as, he made me realize that despite the ugly form, there are still those people who can look beyond, and appreciate not the shell, but what's underneath the underneath.
The beauty that is beyond what the eyes could ever see-the beauty that is beyond the beast.
"...finally, you're awake, Chinen-san," the doctor said, making Yuri nod his head and smile. "So, how's the new heart?" The doctor smiled, but averted his gaze from the little one. Though Yuri, smiling still, just held on to his shirt tight as he slowly engrave to his mind and soul the sound of his new and strong beating heart. "It's beautiful." He rasped as he allowed the tears to flow down his eyes. "I know. It is, after all, a heart made out of love." The doctor whispered as he went towards his little patient and encapsulated him into a warm and comforting embrace. Because the world knows that that's the only thing that the doctor could ever do. Because, the doctor knows that that's the only thing his patient asks and needs. Because everybody already knows that Chinen Yuri already knows everything. He always does, especially now, because the owner and the donator of his fully functioning heart, is in Chinen Yuri's eyes, the most beautiful person in the whole wide world.
His beautiful and beloved, Yamada Ryosuke
...
Fin.
Author’s Note: I’ve just based the whole essence of the story to the theme of the fairytale Beauty and the Beast. Not really the thing oh wells. It’s still connected; at least, I think it is. By the way, this is one of the prompt challenges we are having in the YamaChii Philippines group. Although, my output is not really part of the fairytale, it’s essentially meaningful. I do hope everyone enjoys reading this. It’s strongly meaningful. Thank you and please enjoy. Comments are really loved.