How We Used To Be
Title: How We Used To Be
Author: ai_ai_gasa2
Pairing: Hikabu, Hikanoo (is that what it's called?)
Rating: G, I guess. PG?
Genre: Romance, Angst (The two things I still suck at. I'm trying!)
Summary: As a prank partner, lover, and best friend, Hikaru was always going to be there for him. Just not the way Yabu hoped.
A/N: The song lyrics are all in songs by Ya-ya-yah! and are, in the order that they appear:
(Chibi-chan, I haven't posted on the community yet. But you can still comment on it if you want to. Like a professional. :P)
How We Used To Be
It's like, it's like the beginning and end of a dream
My head and body are parched
I want to touch you more and more
Even if just for a moment, let me dream
"Don’t cry anymore. If it were me… If it were me, I wouldn’t do anything that would make you sad." Yuki (Hikaru) said, staring meaningfully at him through the television screen.
Yabu held back a fangirly squeak and stood. That was it. He was telling Hikaru how much he loved him. How much he always had.
"Ne, Yabu-chii, can you sit down? I can't see." Inoo asked.
"Yeah, Kei-chan can't see the screen." Hikaru added. Yabu looked over to the two before he realized that he hadn't wanted to. Hikaru was sitting on the couch, left arm on the armrest, while his boyfriend, Inoo, was taking up the rest of the couch, head on Hikaru's lap.
Yabu opened, then closed his mouth. I love you wanted to spill out, burst out, but he swallowed and sat. One would think he would be used to scenes like that-Hikaru and Inoo had been dating for over a year-but he still hated seeing it. It made him think back, reminisce... Remember things he didn't necessarily want to remember. At least, not with the two there.
He couldn't even focus on the TV now, hearing the gentle whispers-"You're so cute"-the silence of a shared kiss.
Yabu didn't want to hear anymore, didn't want to listen anymore. He closed his eyes.
You always move each part of my heart
The plan I took a whole night to think of smashes to smithereens
If only these times could continue
So Happy Happy, Feel all right
Though you're smiling widely, I suddenly hit rock bottom
Just with these feelings of loving you
The gentle looks and smiles were enough-Yabu rolled his eyes when Inoo asked just Hikaru to a movie with him, yet blushingly denying that it was a date. Yabu almost wanted to shout "NOW KISS!", but that would be dumb and wouldn't make sense, especially out of context. And he didn't want Hikaru to kiss Inoo, or vice versa. Ever.
"Ne, Yabu-chii... D'you think Inoo-chan likes me?" Hikaru asked him hesitantly. "Because I really like him back if he does. He's just so smart, and he always makes me laugh, and he's so pretty, and-"
"No." was the flat, blunt response. Hikaru's face fell.
"Really?"
"Didn't you know?" Every time Yabu lied to his best friend, he suddenly found the nails on his right hand quite interesting, absorbing his attention so he wouldn't have to look at the younger man "Inoo likes Takaki."
"But..."
The real response kept itself hidden. Of course Inoo liked Hikaru! Was the younger one fooling himself, even having to ask that question? Yabu just didn't want it to be true.
He didn't want Hikaru to get together with Inoo, to have to watch them like that. He wanted Hikaru to be his.
About a week and a half later, Inoo and Hikaru were a couple, much to Hikaru's (happy) surprise.
The other side of you twinkling eyes, Fall in love
You're the only one in my eyes
I need you, Want you
My feelings for you are painted indigo blue
The sea and the sky melt together
It's the start of a sweet, light love
background:white">I'm so close that I could touch you
Hey, can't you see me?
Hey, please notice mebackground:white">
"Hikaru!" Instead of being happy about the news (Yabu hadn't exactly been elated either) he'd stormed out. The look on his face meant he was going to cry. Yabu couldn't have Hikaru cry.
Bursting into the Tegomass costume closet, he knew he was already too late. Always too late.
Within moments, he made sure Hikaru was in his arms, heart soaring as the younger boy accepted, and even wanted, his comfort.
"Just... How?" Hikaru choked the words out. Yabu wiped a tear from his face. "How could he do this to us? ...I hate him."
"You can't hate Johnny-san." Yabu tried to be the voice of reason here-he was the older one-even though he felt exactly the same way. "Working here would be awful if you did."
A pause.
"I wasn't talking about Johnny."
"But... Then who-"
"Taiyo!" the name was exclaimed quite loudly, the tears in his voice evident.
"...Taiyo?" Yabu didn't understand. "But..."
"He... He just left, and... Ya-ya-yah is over, and..."
"So? That doesn't mean-"
"He didn't even give us time to talk him out of it!"
Oh. Hikaru just missed the boy, that was all, and was regretting Taiyo's decision for him.
Yabu found himself kissing the tears off Hikaru's cheeks. It just felt like a natural thing to do, not registering as something he probably shouldn't have done until after he'd done it. Instead of jumping away, Hikaru just looked at him.
"Yabu..." as if speaking to a small child that just didn't understand, he told him slowly "We aren't together anymore."
"I know, I know, but... You know I still love you."
I love you too. How much he wanted to hear it.
Hikaru just left without closing the door. Yabu didn't see him again until the filming for their debut PV.
Stompin' if you keep worrying, nothing will begin
Stompin' tears are
Stompin' to be kicked away
Stompin' even when you're down
You don't suit being discouraged
Stompin' so let's smile
"It's nothing personal." Hikaru scratched his neck, embarrassed. "Well... Actually... I guess this is as personal as things get, but it's nothing wrong with you. It's my fault, I guess."
Yabu still couldn't react. It didn't make sense. They had been so happy, just yesterday, just an hour ago. And now Hikaru was...?
"It's just... I love you Kota, I really do, but... As a friend, okay? My best friend."
"But... Hikaru, but I..."
"I did know you meant a lot to me, but I didn't know in what way. I couldn't say no... But hey," he put his hands in his pants pockets, slightly awkward. "It was a good experience for both of us. It's safe to say we definitely got closer." he laughed a bit. "How many other people could say that they've kissed their best friend?"
"Hikaru-" he needed to stop saying 'best friend'. That wasn't what Yabu wanted.
"I'll see you around, Ko-chan." Hikaru looked at his feet, mood back to serious. "Sorry I put you through all this. Sorry I didn't stop it sooner."
And he walked away. Yabu sat, leaning against the wall's corner. He was sorry too. If it had been ended sooner, maybe it wouldn't hurt so much.
Let's go holding hands, seeing as we know tears
Our smiling faces will become kinder
We'll open the door in the middle of the future
With a new "us"
Let's go holding hands, even if tears spill over
Wave goodbye to sadness
We'll leave footprints in the middle of the future
To the place where love's flower blossoms
"I love you." Yabu told Hikaru, laying his head on his young boyfriend's shoulder, tracing his hands through Hikaru's hair.
The boy gave a slight smile back. "I know." He replied softly. Hikaru seemed weird that day; Yabu would have to ask him about it later, but right now, he wasn't all too worried. If it was something huge, he would have been told. Right now, he just wanted to be happy, Hikaru by his side.
Come on! We get together, we love together
So we make happy together
And you and me two get together
Yabu burst into giggles, looking at the adorable boy across the table from him, making an old man enjoying his lunch a few tables away give them a glare.
"And then..." Hikaru continued the story, an excited smile on his face "It exploded! It was crazy! Just... BOOM!, and then there were old turkey chunks all over the backyard."
Yabu had to put his sandwich down and hold his stomach, his sides and face sore from so much giggling. Hikaru watched him for a moment then joined in, giving up on being moderately quiet, letting his laughter ring all around the restaurant.
"That's... Creative." Yabu finally managed out. Hikaru shrugged.
"Screw leftovers. Eating them isn't as interesting anyways."
That made Yabu laugh again, pushing his plate away from himself in defeat. He couldn't eat anymore. That was the downside of lunch dates with Hikaru-he made him laugh so hard that his mouth and stomach hurt too much to finish his food.
Oh well. He honestly didn't mind.
They left about 15 minutes later, off to go do... Something. It didn't matter what. If Hikaru was with him, he could make the most boring things worth their while, usually with some good commentary.
Yabu sneaked his hand from Hikaru's shoulder to his left hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"I've had fun. Thanks."
Hikaru seemed surprised by the gratitude, but pleased all the same.
"Sure." A gentle squeeze back. "Anytime."
I feel like we could go anywhere
background:white">If I'm with you, we don't need to prepare
Bursting tension, non-stop motion, hearts are fusion
The password is always...background:white">
When he smiled, and laughed, he seemed to sparkle; light up with a simple joy that made Yabu unable not to smile with him.
Finally, he couldn't resist the sight any longer, giving Hikaru a simple look that voiced his question and leaning closer. Hikaru didn't stop him, which Yabu took as an okay. When they were an inch apart, Hikaru spoke up.
"Um... Yabu? I don't... I mean, um..."
Yabu gave him a "you alright?" Hikaru nodded.
"Yeah."
Hesitant, and now unsure, Yabu pressed their lips together.
background:white"> The first kiss for the both of them.
background:white">
Do I, do I, I need you
Do I, do I, I want you
Do I, do I, do I, do I fall in love with you
On that unexpected night, we hugged showing our inexperience
Our fingertips rejected us unnaturally, even obstructing our emotions
I collect all the words I want to say into one
To show you a few of the fragments of these feelings
I can't say them, I'm shaking so hard, they don't reach you
What if you don't even realize this is love... ?
My excited feelings seem about to break, I hope these emotions reach you
My thread of hesitation is tangled, but you'll probably set it free
If we hadn't met in this way, these emotions would be asleep
With these tiny pieces of emotions that may be close to cold
My timidness is roaring...
"He's gonna reject you~" Taiyo singsonged at him.
"I'm gonna pinch you~" Yabu singsonged back.
"Only you would to threaten to pinch another guy instead of punch him." Shoon laughed.
"I know pinch harder than I punch, that's all. I make people bleed." Yabu sent a sweetly innocent smile Taiyo's way. The tallest boy looked at him for a second, then averted his eyes. Yabu smirked.
"You know, Hika actually has a crush on that Takaki-kun guy from J. J. Express." Shoon said randomly, nonchalantly, and Yabu jumped up.
"What?! Why didn't you guys tell me? What the heck-" he was cut off by laughter.
"You should've seen your face." Taiyo imitated him, looking as though he'd just witnessed something horrifyingly unseeable, he and Shoon bursting into another round of laughter.
"Just you wait. One day, when I'm bigger, I'll write down everything you've teased me about. Then, that paper? I'll make you eat it. Through your ear."
The amazingly and awkwardly abnormal threat made Taiyo draw back slightly.
"What?" he protested. "It was Shoon that said it, not me! And he was even joking-"
"Hikaru's here!" Shoon hissed, his attention turned to the door, and this time he wasn't just playing around. The three of them fell silent, Shoon giving Yabu an encouraging nod as Taiyo pushed him forward.
"Go on!" was whispered.
"Um... Hachibee... Can I talk to you?" Yabu was so nervous. He wanted to take the butterflies in his stomach and shove them down Taiyo's ear as well.
"Of course." A bit worried by Yabu's slightly strange antics, Hikaru pulled Yabu to a corner of the room himself and gave him a slightly expectant look.
"Um..." Might as well cut to the chase. "Hikaru, I really really like you. Will you go out with me?"
Let's go embracing these emotions
Yabu put his elbow up on the back of the bus seat in front of him, chin resting on his fist, blatantly staring. That was one of the advantages of taking the seat behind where Hikaru and Taiyo had chosen to sit on their ride to the next KinKi Kids concert-neither of them would turn around (probably) so Yabu could (and would) stare as much as he wanted to.
That is, until the bus went over a freaking gigantic bump in the road that jostled him so much he ended up punching himself in the face.
Shoon of course, who was sitting next to him, burst out laughing.
"What?" Yabu asked, annoyed, rubbing the underside of his chin. He continued matter-of-factly "This bus ride will be devoted to staring at him."
Still chuckling, Shoon shook his head. "You're just so obvious. I bet even the fangirls know about it by now."
"What? No, you're ridiculous." Yabu insisted.
"What is it that's so amazing about Hikaru anyway?" Shoon was genuinely confused. "I seriously don't get it. I mean, he's funny and stuff, and he makes me laugh, but he's kinda a bit of a dork."
"Don't you think it's adorable though?"
Shoon's face obviously suggested otherwise. "Um... No?"
"But-" Yabu was about to protest, but just shook his head. "You wouldn't understand. You're too old."
"What?" Shoon rolled his eyes. "Shut up, little mushroom."
"Old man."
"Mushroom."
The arguing continued like that, with small variations ("Old woman!" "Caterpillar.") until the bus rolled to a stop at their next hotel. Yabu was leaving the bus just as Hikaru was getting back on to retrieve something he'd forgotten.
"I'll... Um... Yeah, just..." they were stuck, each trying to go past each other in the same direction. Hikaru put his hands on Yabu's shoulders, and they rotated around each other.
"There." Hikaru gave him a smile, and Yabu grinned back, barely hiding his blush. Taiyo saw it as he finally stepped from the bus, Shoon yet again laughing.
"So many things I could say right now." Taiyo singsonged. "But I won't."
"Good." Yabu grumbled.
{C}
{C}
Jewels scattered around the world
background:white">Are flames burning quietly deep in our heartsbackground:white">
Hikaru quickly put his arms around him, burying his face in Yabu's neck. Yabu could feel the younger boy's grin against his skin. His heart jumped in his throat.
*click*
"Very good!"
Hikaru let go him, the photo over, the pose forgotten.
"Yabu-chii, are you alright?" Hikaru noticed the redness in Yabu’s cheeks. Taiyo, who had been watching the shoot with Shoon, snickered loudly.
"All these lights and stuff..." Yabu thought up an excuse quickly "It's really hot over here."
"Really? I hadn't noticed. Well, you are wearing more layers than me..." Hikaru plucked at his t-shirt.
"We'll take a break." the photographer said. Hikaru and Yabu both nodded to him greatly, stumbling off set. Staff members had cold water bottles waiting for them, and they sat on the floor to talk.
Yabu's heart fluttered as Hikaru scooted next to him, hip touching his friend's, and put an arm around his shoulder.
"Good work today, Ko-chan." Yabu couldn't tell if the statement was meant or mocked as Hikaru gave him an exaggeratedly serious expression, a nod, and a thumbs-up, which Yabu returned to the best of his ability. Hikaru laughed.
Yabu decided to take advantage of the situation, snuggling into Hikaru's side a bit. Then the other Ya-ya-yah! members walked over, Taiyo smirking as Shoon gave a whistle.
"What?" Hikaru asked them both. Taiyo looked about to tell him, too, when Hikaru exclaimed "Ah! Your face is back to normal, Yabu-chii!"
Shoon burst into laughter. The photographer called "You two ready to finish this set of photos?"
"Yes sir!" Hikaru responded quickly, standing first. Yabu followed him, sticking his tongue out in a put-out looking Taiyo's direction.
Um hey, um now, I felt it a little
background:white">Felt what is was like to be with youbackground:white">
Hikaru stumbled in, hair sticking up in wild directions as he rubbed his eyes and yawned.
"Um... Yabbu-sii... Leggo of my fase peas." He mumbled, but made no move to shake the older boy off him. So Yabu continued to pinch his cheeks, continued to play with his face and hair.
"But you look so adorable!" Yabu insisted. And Hikaru did. That seemed to have been a trend lately-Yabu liked everything he did, everything he said made him laugh. He would catch himself smiling dumbly and then realize he'd been thinking about his younger band mate.
"Riwry?" Though it didn't work too well, Yabu could feel the muscles on Hikaru's face straining into a smile. Yabu laughed, letting go of him at last. Hikaru rubbed his face.
"Feels weird." he commented. Yabu laughed again.
"Hey, why do you do that to me all the time anyways?" Hikaru asked, still rubbing his face. "No... Why do I let you do that to me all the time?"
"Because I'm older than you." Yabu responded. He had been doing that a lot lately-covering it all up with "because I'm older than you". Sometimes, like right now it didn't even make sense.
But it didn't matter. Whatever the reason, when Hikaru's cheeks needed to be pinched, they needed to be pinched.
It seems to be true that the reason I was born
Was to meet with you
Yes, the future in my heart
Is always with you
"No Shoon. Scoot over." Yabu nudged Shoon with his shoulder, food tray in his hand.
"No." Shoon said back. "You're so greedy. I haven't been able to sit next to Hikaru in months."
"Not true." Yabu protested, even though it probably was. The new kid had grown on him quite a bit, and before Yabu had realized it, he kinda wanted to keep Hikaru to himself. Or at least next to himself.
"...I'll sit on you." Yabu threatened after a few moments. The promise of Yabu and his non-existent yet somehow bony butt made Shoon get up and scoot over, just a bit, just enough for Yabu to squeeze in. Hikaru gave him a welcoming smile as he sat down before turning back to his lunch. The two chattered about seemingly important topics that neither would remember later. Shoon was next to them, rolling his eyes, seeing this already for what it was. But Yabu, of course, didn't notice. He was too caught up in the brown eyes and crook-teethed smile.
{C}
{C}
Until the world becomes one
background:white">We will always be holding hands
Don't lose to the dazzle of memories
We have a very wonderful dream
Until the world becomes one
We will always be holding hands
Our heartbeats will always be treasuresbackground:white">
"Hello boys." Mary walked in, clipboard in hand while a small boy came in behind her. The three looked up, Shoon from his book, Taiyo from his fingernails, and Yabu from the magazine he was holding.
"This is Yaotome Hikaru-kun. Johnny-san placed him in your group until further notice."
"Hello Yaotome-kun!" Yabu responded, enthusiastically, first. He was the leader, after all. Shoon just waved, bowing his head, and Taiyo gave the new kid a smile.
The boy bowed back in response. "Please call me Hikaru." He insisted.
"I thought you might want to meet him as soon as possible. Now, if you'll come with me, there's still some paperwork left undone." Mary tapped her clipboard, and after a wave, the two were gone. Yabu was a bit surprised by the briefness of the exchange.
"So Yabu-chii, whadaya think of the new kid?" Shoon asked, returning to his original position on the couch. "I kinda like him."
Yabu shrugged.
"I dunno. He seems fine I guess." Yabu got a defensive look in his eye. "His voice'd better not be higher than mine."
Taiyo laughed. "Like that'll never happen. Johnny'll probably make you sign something that forces you to promise that you won't go through puberty until he wants you to."
"Which'll be never." Shoon answered with a snort of laughter.
"Back to the new kid," Yabu said in an insistent tone "I guess we'll just see how long he stays."
In a blue sky that is so clear it is sad
background:white">Even as we wander and trip, in our hands
We hold the futurebackground:white">
~~~~~
Tell me your dreams & I'll tell you mine
Yabu was staring blankly at the TV screen now, not taking anything in. Hikaru and a giggly Inoo had left, holding hands, about 20 minutes ago. He was now alone, back on the living room floor.
"Don’t cry anymore. If it were me… If it were me, I wouldn’t do anything that would make you sad."
It still hurt, even though he knew he was just being pathetic. Thinking like that, in some ways, made it worse. He knew it was his own fault.
We acted out love like children
We copied the adults as we said goodbye
We could only love with our hearts
You all are super fantastic elastic. Thanks for reading!
Author: ai_ai_gasa2
Pairing: Hikabu, Hikanoo (is that what it's called?)
Rating: G, I guess. PG?
Genre: Romance, Angst (The two things I still suck at. I'm trying!)
Summary: As a prank partner, lover, and best friend, Hikaru was always going to be there for him. Just not the way Yabu hoped.
A/N: The song lyrics are all in songs by Ya-ya-yah! and are, in the order that they appear:
- Itoshi no PLAYGIRL
- UpDown
- SummerxSummerxSummer
- Stompin'
- Te-wo Tsunaide Yukou
- Love Together
- Ai Koto Ba Wa
- Ikujinashi
- To the Freedom
- Jewel Star
- Kaze-ni Nottw
- 2 of Us
- Sekai go Hitotsu ni Narumade
- HA-RU-NA-TSU-A-KI-FU-YU
- Maybe Your Love
- Himawari no Melody
(Chibi-chan, I haven't posted on the community yet. But you can still comment on it if you want to. Like a professional. :P)
How We Used To Be
It's like, it's like the beginning and end of a dream
My head and body are parched
I want to touch you more and more
Even if just for a moment, let me dream
"Don’t cry anymore. If it were me… If it were me, I wouldn’t do anything that would make you sad." Yuki (Hikaru) said, staring meaningfully at him through the television screen.
Yabu held back a fangirly squeak and stood. That was it. He was telling Hikaru how much he loved him. How much he always had.
"Ne, Yabu-chii, can you sit down? I can't see." Inoo asked.
"Yeah, Kei-chan can't see the screen." Hikaru added. Yabu looked over to the two before he realized that he hadn't wanted to. Hikaru was sitting on the couch, left arm on the armrest, while his boyfriend, Inoo, was taking up the rest of the couch, head on Hikaru's lap.
Yabu opened, then closed his mouth. I love you wanted to spill out, burst out, but he swallowed and sat. One would think he would be used to scenes like that-Hikaru and Inoo had been dating for over a year-but he still hated seeing it. It made him think back, reminisce... Remember things he didn't necessarily want to remember. At least, not with the two there.
He couldn't even focus on the TV now, hearing the gentle whispers-"You're so cute"-the silence of a shared kiss.
Yabu didn't want to hear anymore, didn't want to listen anymore. He closed his eyes.
You always move each part of my heart
The plan I took a whole night to think of smashes to smithereens
If only these times could continue
So Happy Happy, Feel all right
Though you're smiling widely, I suddenly hit rock bottom
Just with these feelings of loving you
The gentle looks and smiles were enough-Yabu rolled his eyes when Inoo asked just Hikaru to a movie with him, yet blushingly denying that it was a date. Yabu almost wanted to shout "NOW KISS!", but that would be dumb and wouldn't make sense, especially out of context. And he didn't want Hikaru to kiss Inoo, or vice versa. Ever.
"Ne, Yabu-chii... D'you think Inoo-chan likes me?" Hikaru asked him hesitantly. "Because I really like him back if he does. He's just so smart, and he always makes me laugh, and he's so pretty, and-"
"No." was the flat, blunt response. Hikaru's face fell.
"Really?"
"Didn't you know?" Every time Yabu lied to his best friend, he suddenly found the nails on his right hand quite interesting, absorbing his attention so he wouldn't have to look at the younger man "Inoo likes Takaki."
"But..."
The real response kept itself hidden. Of course Inoo liked Hikaru! Was the younger one fooling himself, even having to ask that question? Yabu just didn't want it to be true.
He didn't want Hikaru to get together with Inoo, to have to watch them like that. He wanted Hikaru to be his.
About a week and a half later, Inoo and Hikaru were a couple, much to Hikaru's (happy) surprise.
The other side of you twinkling eyes, Fall in love
You're the only one in my eyes
I need you, Want you
My feelings for you are painted indigo blue
The sea and the sky melt together
It's the start of a sweet, light love
background:white">I'm so close that I could touch you
Hey, can't you see me?
Hey, please notice mebackground:white">
"Hikaru!" Instead of being happy about the news (Yabu hadn't exactly been elated either) he'd stormed out. The look on his face meant he was going to cry. Yabu couldn't have Hikaru cry.
Bursting into the Tegomass costume closet, he knew he was already too late. Always too late.
Within moments, he made sure Hikaru was in his arms, heart soaring as the younger boy accepted, and even wanted, his comfort.
"Just... How?" Hikaru choked the words out. Yabu wiped a tear from his face. "How could he do this to us? ...I hate him."
"You can't hate Johnny-san." Yabu tried to be the voice of reason here-he was the older one-even though he felt exactly the same way. "Working here would be awful if you did."
A pause.
"I wasn't talking about Johnny."
"But... Then who-"
"Taiyo!" the name was exclaimed quite loudly, the tears in his voice evident.
"...Taiyo?" Yabu didn't understand. "But..."
"He... He just left, and... Ya-ya-yah is over, and..."
"So? That doesn't mean-"
"He didn't even give us time to talk him out of it!"
Oh. Hikaru just missed the boy, that was all, and was regretting Taiyo's decision for him.
Yabu found himself kissing the tears off Hikaru's cheeks. It just felt like a natural thing to do, not registering as something he probably shouldn't have done until after he'd done it. Instead of jumping away, Hikaru just looked at him.
"Yabu..." as if speaking to a small child that just didn't understand, he told him slowly "We aren't together anymore."
"I know, I know, but... You know I still love you."
I love you too. How much he wanted to hear it.
Hikaru just left without closing the door. Yabu didn't see him again until the filming for their debut PV.
Stompin' if you keep worrying, nothing will begin
Stompin' tears are
Stompin' to be kicked away
Stompin' even when you're down
You don't suit being discouraged
Stompin' so let's smile
"It's nothing personal." Hikaru scratched his neck, embarrassed. "Well... Actually... I guess this is as personal as things get, but it's nothing wrong with you. It's my fault, I guess."
Yabu still couldn't react. It didn't make sense. They had been so happy, just yesterday, just an hour ago. And now Hikaru was...?
"It's just... I love you Kota, I really do, but... As a friend, okay? My best friend."
"But... Hikaru, but I..."
"I did know you meant a lot to me, but I didn't know in what way. I couldn't say no... But hey," he put his hands in his pants pockets, slightly awkward. "It was a good experience for both of us. It's safe to say we definitely got closer." he laughed a bit. "How many other people could say that they've kissed their best friend?"
"Hikaru-" he needed to stop saying 'best friend'. That wasn't what Yabu wanted.
"I'll see you around, Ko-chan." Hikaru looked at his feet, mood back to serious. "Sorry I put you through all this. Sorry I didn't stop it sooner."
And he walked away. Yabu sat, leaning against the wall's corner. He was sorry too. If it had been ended sooner, maybe it wouldn't hurt so much.
Let's go holding hands, seeing as we know tears
Our smiling faces will become kinder
We'll open the door in the middle of the future
With a new "us"
Let's go holding hands, even if tears spill over
Wave goodbye to sadness
We'll leave footprints in the middle of the future
To the place where love's flower blossoms
"I love you." Yabu told Hikaru, laying his head on his young boyfriend's shoulder, tracing his hands through Hikaru's hair.
The boy gave a slight smile back. "I know." He replied softly. Hikaru seemed weird that day; Yabu would have to ask him about it later, but right now, he wasn't all too worried. If it was something huge, he would have been told. Right now, he just wanted to be happy, Hikaru by his side.
Come on! We get together, we love together
So we make happy together
And you and me two get together
Yabu burst into giggles, looking at the adorable boy across the table from him, making an old man enjoying his lunch a few tables away give them a glare.
"And then..." Hikaru continued the story, an excited smile on his face "It exploded! It was crazy! Just... BOOM!, and then there were old turkey chunks all over the backyard."
Yabu had to put his sandwich down and hold his stomach, his sides and face sore from so much giggling. Hikaru watched him for a moment then joined in, giving up on being moderately quiet, letting his laughter ring all around the restaurant.
"That's... Creative." Yabu finally managed out. Hikaru shrugged.
"Screw leftovers. Eating them isn't as interesting anyways."
That made Yabu laugh again, pushing his plate away from himself in defeat. He couldn't eat anymore. That was the downside of lunch dates with Hikaru-he made him laugh so hard that his mouth and stomach hurt too much to finish his food.
Oh well. He honestly didn't mind.
They left about 15 minutes later, off to go do... Something. It didn't matter what. If Hikaru was with him, he could make the most boring things worth their while, usually with some good commentary.
Yabu sneaked his hand from Hikaru's shoulder to his left hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"I've had fun. Thanks."
Hikaru seemed surprised by the gratitude, but pleased all the same.
"Sure." A gentle squeeze back. "Anytime."
I feel like we could go anywhere
background:white">If I'm with you, we don't need to prepare
Bursting tension, non-stop motion, hearts are fusion
The password is always...background:white">
When he smiled, and laughed, he seemed to sparkle; light up with a simple joy that made Yabu unable not to smile with him.
Finally, he couldn't resist the sight any longer, giving Hikaru a simple look that voiced his question and leaning closer. Hikaru didn't stop him, which Yabu took as an okay. When they were an inch apart, Hikaru spoke up.
"Um... Yabu? I don't... I mean, um..."
Yabu gave him a "you alright?" Hikaru nodded.
"Yeah."
Hesitant, and now unsure, Yabu pressed their lips together.
background:white"> The first kiss for the both of them.
background:white">
Do I, do I, I need you
Do I, do I, I want you
Do I, do I, do I, do I fall in love with you
On that unexpected night, we hugged showing our inexperience
Our fingertips rejected us unnaturally, even obstructing our emotions
I collect all the words I want to say into one
To show you a few of the fragments of these feelings
I can't say them, I'm shaking so hard, they don't reach you
What if you don't even realize this is love... ?
My excited feelings seem about to break, I hope these emotions reach you
My thread of hesitation is tangled, but you'll probably set it free
If we hadn't met in this way, these emotions would be asleep
With these tiny pieces of emotions that may be close to cold
My timidness is roaring...
"He's gonna reject you~" Taiyo singsonged at him.
"I'm gonna pinch you~" Yabu singsonged back.
"Only you would to threaten to pinch another guy instead of punch him." Shoon laughed.
"I know pinch harder than I punch, that's all. I make people bleed." Yabu sent a sweetly innocent smile Taiyo's way. The tallest boy looked at him for a second, then averted his eyes. Yabu smirked.
"You know, Hika actually has a crush on that Takaki-kun guy from J. J. Express." Shoon said randomly, nonchalantly, and Yabu jumped up.
"What?! Why didn't you guys tell me? What the heck-" he was cut off by laughter.
"You should've seen your face." Taiyo imitated him, looking as though he'd just witnessed something horrifyingly unseeable, he and Shoon bursting into another round of laughter.
"Just you wait. One day, when I'm bigger, I'll write down everything you've teased me about. Then, that paper? I'll make you eat it. Through your ear."
The amazingly and awkwardly abnormal threat made Taiyo draw back slightly.
"What?" he protested. "It was Shoon that said it, not me! And he was even joking-"
"Hikaru's here!" Shoon hissed, his attention turned to the door, and this time he wasn't just playing around. The three of them fell silent, Shoon giving Yabu an encouraging nod as Taiyo pushed him forward.
"Go on!" was whispered.
"Um... Hachibee... Can I talk to you?" Yabu was so nervous. He wanted to take the butterflies in his stomach and shove them down Taiyo's ear as well.
"Of course." A bit worried by Yabu's slightly strange antics, Hikaru pulled Yabu to a corner of the room himself and gave him a slightly expectant look.
"Um..." Might as well cut to the chase. "Hikaru, I really really like you. Will you go out with me?"
Let's go embracing these emotions
Yabu put his elbow up on the back of the bus seat in front of him, chin resting on his fist, blatantly staring. That was one of the advantages of taking the seat behind where Hikaru and Taiyo had chosen to sit on their ride to the next KinKi Kids concert-neither of them would turn around (probably) so Yabu could (and would) stare as much as he wanted to.
That is, until the bus went over a freaking gigantic bump in the road that jostled him so much he ended up punching himself in the face.
Shoon of course, who was sitting next to him, burst out laughing.
"What?" Yabu asked, annoyed, rubbing the underside of his chin. He continued matter-of-factly "This bus ride will be devoted to staring at him."
Still chuckling, Shoon shook his head. "You're just so obvious. I bet even the fangirls know about it by now."
"What? No, you're ridiculous." Yabu insisted.
"What is it that's so amazing about Hikaru anyway?" Shoon was genuinely confused. "I seriously don't get it. I mean, he's funny and stuff, and he makes me laugh, but he's kinda a bit of a dork."
"Don't you think it's adorable though?"
Shoon's face obviously suggested otherwise. "Um... No?"
"But-" Yabu was about to protest, but just shook his head. "You wouldn't understand. You're too old."
"What?" Shoon rolled his eyes. "Shut up, little mushroom."
"Old man."
"Mushroom."
The arguing continued like that, with small variations ("Old woman!" "Caterpillar.") until the bus rolled to a stop at their next hotel. Yabu was leaving the bus just as Hikaru was getting back on to retrieve something he'd forgotten.
"I'll... Um... Yeah, just..." they were stuck, each trying to go past each other in the same direction. Hikaru put his hands on Yabu's shoulders, and they rotated around each other.
"There." Hikaru gave him a smile, and Yabu grinned back, barely hiding his blush. Taiyo saw it as he finally stepped from the bus, Shoon yet again laughing.
"So many things I could say right now." Taiyo singsonged. "But I won't."
"Good." Yabu grumbled.
{C}
{C}
Jewels scattered around the world
background:white">Are flames burning quietly deep in our heartsbackground:white">
Hikaru quickly put his arms around him, burying his face in Yabu's neck. Yabu could feel the younger boy's grin against his skin. His heart jumped in his throat.
*click*
"Very good!"
Hikaru let go him, the photo over, the pose forgotten.
"Yabu-chii, are you alright?" Hikaru noticed the redness in Yabu’s cheeks. Taiyo, who had been watching the shoot with Shoon, snickered loudly.
"All these lights and stuff..." Yabu thought up an excuse quickly "It's really hot over here."
"Really? I hadn't noticed. Well, you are wearing more layers than me..." Hikaru plucked at his t-shirt.
"We'll take a break." the photographer said. Hikaru and Yabu both nodded to him greatly, stumbling off set. Staff members had cold water bottles waiting for them, and they sat on the floor to talk.
Yabu's heart fluttered as Hikaru scooted next to him, hip touching his friend's, and put an arm around his shoulder.
"Good work today, Ko-chan." Yabu couldn't tell if the statement was meant or mocked as Hikaru gave him an exaggeratedly serious expression, a nod, and a thumbs-up, which Yabu returned to the best of his ability. Hikaru laughed.
Yabu decided to take advantage of the situation, snuggling into Hikaru's side a bit. Then the other Ya-ya-yah! members walked over, Taiyo smirking as Shoon gave a whistle.
"What?" Hikaru asked them both. Taiyo looked about to tell him, too, when Hikaru exclaimed "Ah! Your face is back to normal, Yabu-chii!"
Shoon burst into laughter. The photographer called "You two ready to finish this set of photos?"
"Yes sir!" Hikaru responded quickly, standing first. Yabu followed him, sticking his tongue out in a put-out looking Taiyo's direction.
Um hey, um now, I felt it a little
background:white">Felt what is was like to be with youbackground:white">
Hikaru stumbled in, hair sticking up in wild directions as he rubbed his eyes and yawned.
"Um... Yabbu-sii... Leggo of my fase peas." He mumbled, but made no move to shake the older boy off him. So Yabu continued to pinch his cheeks, continued to play with his face and hair.
"But you look so adorable!" Yabu insisted. And Hikaru did. That seemed to have been a trend lately-Yabu liked everything he did, everything he said made him laugh. He would catch himself smiling dumbly and then realize he'd been thinking about his younger band mate.
"Riwry?" Though it didn't work too well, Yabu could feel the muscles on Hikaru's face straining into a smile. Yabu laughed, letting go of him at last. Hikaru rubbed his face.
"Feels weird." he commented. Yabu laughed again.
"Hey, why do you do that to me all the time anyways?" Hikaru asked, still rubbing his face. "No... Why do I let you do that to me all the time?"
"Because I'm older than you." Yabu responded. He had been doing that a lot lately-covering it all up with "because I'm older than you". Sometimes, like right now it didn't even make sense.
But it didn't matter. Whatever the reason, when Hikaru's cheeks needed to be pinched, they needed to be pinched.
It seems to be true that the reason I was born
Was to meet with you
Yes, the future in my heart
Is always with you
"No Shoon. Scoot over." Yabu nudged Shoon with his shoulder, food tray in his hand.
"No." Shoon said back. "You're so greedy. I haven't been able to sit next to Hikaru in months."
"Not true." Yabu protested, even though it probably was. The new kid had grown on him quite a bit, and before Yabu had realized it, he kinda wanted to keep Hikaru to himself. Or at least next to himself.
"...I'll sit on you." Yabu threatened after a few moments. The promise of Yabu and his non-existent yet somehow bony butt made Shoon get up and scoot over, just a bit, just enough for Yabu to squeeze in. Hikaru gave him a welcoming smile as he sat down before turning back to his lunch. The two chattered about seemingly important topics that neither would remember later. Shoon was next to them, rolling his eyes, seeing this already for what it was. But Yabu, of course, didn't notice. He was too caught up in the brown eyes and crook-teethed smile.
{C}
{C}
Until the world becomes one
background:white">We will always be holding hands
Don't lose to the dazzle of memories
We have a very wonderful dream
Until the world becomes one
We will always be holding hands
Our heartbeats will always be treasuresbackground:white">
"Hello boys." Mary walked in, clipboard in hand while a small boy came in behind her. The three looked up, Shoon from his book, Taiyo from his fingernails, and Yabu from the magazine he was holding.
"This is Yaotome Hikaru-kun. Johnny-san placed him in your group until further notice."
"Hello Yaotome-kun!" Yabu responded, enthusiastically, first. He was the leader, after all. Shoon just waved, bowing his head, and Taiyo gave the new kid a smile.
The boy bowed back in response. "Please call me Hikaru." He insisted.
"I thought you might want to meet him as soon as possible. Now, if you'll come with me, there's still some paperwork left undone." Mary tapped her clipboard, and after a wave, the two were gone. Yabu was a bit surprised by the briefness of the exchange.
"So Yabu-chii, whadaya think of the new kid?" Shoon asked, returning to his original position on the couch. "I kinda like him."
Yabu shrugged.
"I dunno. He seems fine I guess." Yabu got a defensive look in his eye. "His voice'd better not be higher than mine."
Taiyo laughed. "Like that'll never happen. Johnny'll probably make you sign something that forces you to promise that you won't go through puberty until he wants you to."
"Which'll be never." Shoon answered with a snort of laughter.
"Back to the new kid," Yabu said in an insistent tone "I guess we'll just see how long he stays."
In a blue sky that is so clear it is sad
background:white">Even as we wander and trip, in our hands
We hold the futurebackground:white">
~~~~~
Tell me your dreams & I'll tell you mine
Yabu was staring blankly at the TV screen now, not taking anything in. Hikaru and a giggly Inoo had left, holding hands, about 20 minutes ago. He was now alone, back on the living room floor.
"Don’t cry anymore. If it were me… If it were me, I wouldn’t do anything that would make you sad."
It still hurt, even though he knew he was just being pathetic. Thinking like that, in some ways, made it worse. He knew it was his own fault.
We acted out love like children
We copied the adults as we said goodbye
We could only love with our hearts
You all are super fantastic elastic. Thanks for reading!