Unsafe Spaces
"Hello", the direct message begins. "I am a senior administrator of the 'Transgender Safe Spaces'* Facebook group. Unfortunately, I need to let you know that your post from yesterday has been reported. Reported AGAIN, I should say. Whenever you post here, I get several reports on it.
"We need to have a conversation. I absolutely do NOT wish to censor you. I value alternative perspectives and ideologies because they provide me with an opening out of the bubble that social media has become. Frankly, I think your posts are well thought out and intelligently planned. I can't even say I disagree with you after reading some of your posts. But we're getting report after report from our members".
I click into the chat bubble and write back: "Hi! So what's the next step? You agree that I have something relevant to say, even though some percent of the people in the group find what I've said problematic."
The group admin replies, "I don't think we should all be hearing nothing but echoes of the things we want to hear and believe. It is good to be exposed to things that may or may not fit our own perspective. But unfortunately, not everyone agrees with that. We tend to unfriend people when they say something that contradicts our own feelings and we boot people from groups when they don't echo the group mentality. So I'm in a bit of a predicament as an administrator. You see things differently than others do. The biggest thing I see is that people aren't expecting it. People want an echo, not a controversy. They want to feel like it is a safe space, one that reflects themselves. So someone comes along with a thought that doesn't fit and they react negatively as if their safe space has been compromised".
"So far", I answer, "you've been making my points for me. I don't know what I can do that I'm not already doing. I am open to suggestions for how to modify what I say to make it more palatable, but I already feel like I expend a lot of effort trying to reach people where they are at and bring them to the perceptions that I'm trying to share with them. It's not like I can go to some other group where I'd fit in better. I don't fit in anywhere, exactly. Transgender people promise it's a big umbrella, that if your gender identity is any different from what other people assigned you as at birth, then HEY you're one of us! But apparently I'm not quite so welcome if I think thoughts that aren't like everyone else's and express them because I'm tired of being silenced and my peculiar form of gender identity denied. I'm tired of being spoken OF but not getting a chance to speak FOR MYSELF"
"I don't want to censor you", the admin repeated. "This has become a group that values selfies of transgender peple asking if they pass, or stories about abuse and trauma, or questions about hormone shot placement. I don't think there is anything wrong with your posting, but I'm afraid this is the wrong audience. I think you need to find a better place to post, where conversations and long-format posts are more embraced. I'd like to keep you around but I also need to help people feel like the group is a safe space".
But it isn't a safe space.
It clearly isn't a safe space for a minority individual who isn't like the others. Such as me. It isn't a safe space for individuals who do not fit in.
The people it is "safe" for are the most normative participants, who are being kept "safe" from the horrible threat of having to be aware of someone who is different, whose experience is different. Someone weird. Peculiar. QUEER, you could say.
This is not a cute little irony to be spoken of with a wry smile. This is a catastrophic falure of the entire purpose and mission statement of LGBTQIA+.
Trans communities are becoming unsafe spaces for queer folks.
Watch your eggshells.
I will be walking on them.
* The actual name of the Facebook group has been changed at the administrator's request.
-------
Do you counsel young people trying to sort out their gender identity? You should read my book! It's going to add a new entry to your map of possibilities when you interact with your clients!
My book, GenderQueer: A Story From a Different Closet, has been published by Sunstone Press. It is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble in paperback and ebook, and as ebook only from Apple, Kobo, and directly from Sunstone Press themselves.
My second book, That Guy in Our Women's Studies Class, is also being published by Sunstone Press. It's a sequel to GenderQueer. It's expected to be released in late 2021. Stay tuned for further details.
Links to published reviews and comments are listed on my Home Page
-------
This DreamWidth blog is echoed on LiveJournal and WordPress. Please friend/link me from any of those environments on which you have an account.
--------
Index of all Blog Posts
comments at Dreamwidth -- https://ahunter3.dreamwidth.org/78489.html#comments
"We need to have a conversation. I absolutely do NOT wish to censor you. I value alternative perspectives and ideologies because they provide me with an opening out of the bubble that social media has become. Frankly, I think your posts are well thought out and intelligently planned. I can't even say I disagree with you after reading some of your posts. But we're getting report after report from our members".
I click into the chat bubble and write back: "Hi! So what's the next step? You agree that I have something relevant to say, even though some percent of the people in the group find what I've said problematic."
The group admin replies, "I don't think we should all be hearing nothing but echoes of the things we want to hear and believe. It is good to be exposed to things that may or may not fit our own perspective. But unfortunately, not everyone agrees with that. We tend to unfriend people when they say something that contradicts our own feelings and we boot people from groups when they don't echo the group mentality. So I'm in a bit of a predicament as an administrator. You see things differently than others do. The biggest thing I see is that people aren't expecting it. People want an echo, not a controversy. They want to feel like it is a safe space, one that reflects themselves. So someone comes along with a thought that doesn't fit and they react negatively as if their safe space has been compromised".
"So far", I answer, "you've been making my points for me. I don't know what I can do that I'm not already doing. I am open to suggestions for how to modify what I say to make it more palatable, but I already feel like I expend a lot of effort trying to reach people where they are at and bring them to the perceptions that I'm trying to share with them. It's not like I can go to some other group where I'd fit in better. I don't fit in anywhere, exactly. Transgender people promise it's a big umbrella, that if your gender identity is any different from what other people assigned you as at birth, then HEY you're one of us! But apparently I'm not quite so welcome if I think thoughts that aren't like everyone else's and express them because I'm tired of being silenced and my peculiar form of gender identity denied. I'm tired of being spoken OF but not getting a chance to speak FOR MYSELF"
"I don't want to censor you", the admin repeated. "This has become a group that values selfies of transgender peple asking if they pass, or stories about abuse and trauma, or questions about hormone shot placement. I don't think there is anything wrong with your posting, but I'm afraid this is the wrong audience. I think you need to find a better place to post, where conversations and long-format posts are more embraced. I'd like to keep you around but I also need to help people feel like the group is a safe space".
But it isn't a safe space.
It clearly isn't a safe space for a minority individual who isn't like the others. Such as me. It isn't a safe space for individuals who do not fit in.
The people it is "safe" for are the most normative participants, who are being kept "safe" from the horrible threat of having to be aware of someone who is different, whose experience is different. Someone weird. Peculiar. QUEER, you could say.
This is not a cute little irony to be spoken of with a wry smile. This is a catastrophic falure of the entire purpose and mission statement of LGBTQIA+.
Trans communities are becoming unsafe spaces for queer folks.
Watch your eggshells.
I will be walking on them.
* The actual name of the Facebook group has been changed at the administrator's request.
-------
Do you counsel young people trying to sort out their gender identity? You should read my book! It's going to add a new entry to your map of possibilities when you interact with your clients!
My book, GenderQueer: A Story From a Different Closet, has been published by Sunstone Press. It is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble in paperback and ebook, and as ebook only from Apple, Kobo, and directly from Sunstone Press themselves.
My second book, That Guy in Our Women's Studies Class, is also being published by Sunstone Press. It's a sequel to GenderQueer. It's expected to be released in late 2021. Stay tuned for further details.
Links to published reviews and comments are listed on my Home Page
-------
This DreamWidth blog is echoed on LiveJournal and WordPress. Please friend/link me from any of those environments on which you have an account.
--------
Index of all Blog Posts
comments at Dreamwidth -- https://ahunter3.dreamwidth.org/78489.html#comments