More Ennui.
As I sit here, impassively looking at my watch and drinking a soda, I keep wishing that I grew up already. I'm getting rather fed up with this entire mess. I want a little more substance to life.
Although many believe your past shapes your future, is it possible to completely negate your past and become a single, isolated entity? I used to dwell quite a bit on the past, wishing I was still four and running through vast farming fields until my grandmother called my name. Believe me, if the Good Lord ever permitted us to go back in time and stay in a particular moment for all eternity, it would be with her and my mother, sitting under the cool trees next to the canal. But now I realize that it's really quite useless to be nostalgic, and it stops one from living.
So I want to stop being dead. I want to live. I want something new. If there ever was a meaning to life, it would be to learn and see as much as you possibly can before you die. Not changing the world, per se, but at least leave some indelible mark on someone or something. A mark that would say you were here, you took charge and you didn't sit around waiting for the next big bang.
...and I keep looking at my watch, sipping a soda. Waiting for the next big deal that will fade away and be mentally archived by morons who think it'll be cool and retro when they remember it ten years from now. I look at the scantily clad women on the television, and I really begin to regret that I was born a female. Then I pretend I'm on a desolate highway somewhere, and my soul takes flight.
Although many believe your past shapes your future, is it possible to completely negate your past and become a single, isolated entity? I used to dwell quite a bit on the past, wishing I was still four and running through vast farming fields until my grandmother called my name. Believe me, if the Good Lord ever permitted us to go back in time and stay in a particular moment for all eternity, it would be with her and my mother, sitting under the cool trees next to the canal. But now I realize that it's really quite useless to be nostalgic, and it stops one from living.
So I want to stop being dead. I want to live. I want something new. If there ever was a meaning to life, it would be to learn and see as much as you possibly can before you die. Not changing the world, per se, but at least leave some indelible mark on someone or something. A mark that would say you were here, you took charge and you didn't sit around waiting for the next big bang.
...and I keep looking at my watch, sipping a soda. Waiting for the next big deal that will fade away and be mentally archived by morons who think it'll be cool and retro when they remember it ten years from now. I look at the scantily clad women on the television, and I really begin to regret that I was born a female. Then I pretend I'm on a desolate highway somewhere, and my soul takes flight.