You know you're an IB student when.....
o Relatives that have been dead for years come visit you and suggest that you get some sleep.
o You can achieve a Runner's High by sitting up.
o You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
o You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
o The Sun is too loud.
o Trees begin threatening you.
o You can see individual air molecules vibrating.
o While writing a TOK paper, you begin to actually understand the material.
o You explore the possibility of setting up an IV drip of espresso.
o You wonder if brewing is an essential step in the consumption of coffee.
o Things become "Very Clear".
o You begin speaking in a language that only you and Channelers can understand.
o You believe that if you think hard enough, you can levitate.
o You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
o You heart beats in 7/8 time.
o David Lynch comes and says: "Hey, can I film you?"
o You and Reality file for divorce.
o It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.
o You have great revelations concerning Life, the Universe, and Everything else, but can't quite find the words for them before the white glow fades, leaving you more confused than before.
o Antacid tablets and No-Doze become your sole source of nutrition.
o You discover the aesthetic beauty of school supplies.
o You begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty row about it, lose, and refuse to talk to yourself for the rest of the day.
o You yell: "STOP TOUCHING ME!!!" even though you're the only person in the room.
o You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
o Five words: "WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?!?!?!?!?"
o You can spell "Baccalaureate".
o "I.B., therefore I B.S."
o "IB has an honor code?!?!"
o "Friends" and "fellow IBers" are interchangeable.
o You go to bed at 3AM and think, "Oh, it's an early night!"
o Your favorite saying is "If I get a hundred on every test for the rest of the year..."
o Social life? What's that?
o You've fooled yourself into believing that colleges actually care whether you're in IB or not.
o You try to wake up fast enough to catch yourself sleeping - and succeed.
o You talk to yourself in the 3rd person.
o You write sentences on multiple choice tests.
o It's okay to fail, so long as you are not alone.
o You frequently catch yourself saying "What?? We had homework??"
You don't drink, but you find it a convenient way to explain how you dressed yourself in the morning.
Top 10 reasons to be an IB Diploma Candidate:
10) I want to conform to an international standard of educational excellence.
9) I want to be surrounded by other intelligent, dedicated students.
8) I want to work extremely hard.
7) I want to sacrifice almost all of my time to studying.
6) I want my class rank to be as low as it can possibly be.
5) I want to have an overwhelmingly high stress level.
4) I want to immerse myself in an environment of competition and mutual jealousy.
3) I want to burn away any vestiges of creativity or independent thought that I might have left after sophomore year.
2) I want to discover that all of the extra work I did to get the IB Diploma made absolutely no difference in my college admissions.
1) I feel masochistic.
Getting through the year
o You manage to complete a semesters worth of homework the day before the term ends.
o You finish your extended essay shortly after midnight. Your smile of satisfaction fades when you remember to start on your World Lit. paper.
o You've sold your soul…to a teacher…for a C…for the 9 weeks…
o You cloned yourself so you could sell your clones' souls to other teachers for Cs for the 9 weeks again (hey, there may be a profit to be made in this...)
o Desperate to fill up your CAS hours, you claim watching a black and white movie as "creativity" and walking your dog as "activity", and your teacher approves it.
o You have a special "test writing sweater" that you wore to all the IB exams.
o Your idea of impure thoughts is whether or not to copy math homework.
o You can count your last quiz grade on one hand.
o You wonder if there's Cliff's Notes on the Calculus book.
o You don't really cheat - you just tell people the answers.
o Cheating became to difficult, so you took up telepathy.
o You have a tab running at Books-A-Million.
o Bn.com, amazon.com, and Books-A-Million offered to give you a free shipment/order each so you took full advantage of it and are now banned from those stores/sites (it took 6 semis to deliver the orders!)
o You've consulted tarot cards for hints on a History test.
o You have the library on speed dial.
o You've framed the Honor Code.
o You've developed an imprint of your book bag in your back.
o Your best hope for most classes is either divine intervention or a strategically placed lightning bolt.
o Your books weigh more than you do.
o Your thesis for the Extended Essay is whether or not Bert and Ernie are gay.
o Your alternate thesis for the Extended Essay is why IB jokes/checklists are so prolific and the amount of fact contained within them.
o You plead insanity on a research paper.
o Your plea is accepted by your teacher.
o You have a Cliff's Notes Preferred Customer Credit Card.
o You exceed the limit on said credit card--on only Cliff's Notes!
o You do your essays on the plane ride to school.
o You can lead your way through a frog's intestines with your eyes closed.
o You forgot about that pesky Extended Essay thing until the night before it was due.
o You have to stop twice and get gas to make it all the way to school.
o You've been out various times looking for the Abridged Cliff's Notes.
o You consider giving up going to the bathroom permanently to give you more time to study.
o Your backpack is only comfortable when it weighs >30 pounds.
o You have convinced your parents the "1" you received on your IB Physics exam was really the "top 1% of all IB students worldwide".
o You skip breakfast so you can get to school early to get in some extra cramming time to gain that "upper edge" on the rest of the class.
o Your home becomes a "home away from home".
o You think the meaning of life is: G = -RTlnK.
o Your favorite equation is e(iπ)+1=0
o Said equation comes up on a test.
o You go insane from trying to work Pythagoras' constant and the golden rule into said equation.
o You succeed in mathematically correctly adding above to said formula without changing number bases.
o Pressed for time, you conclude a history essay with, "And they lived happily every after. Amen."
o You get into a slugging match over priority for the library photocopier.
o You copy old Theory of Knowledge essays so you can get an A in the Ethics unit.
o You plagiarize from Cliff's Notes for the "What is Truth?" ToK paper.
o It's essential to learn to live with occasional failures.
o "What is the Bronsted Lowry Theory again?"
o Can we say EXTRA CREDIT??
o You actually worry about the 105% you have in math.
o You find that you overreact when you get 2 points marked off on your homework.
o You find that you spend more time sleeping in class than at home.
o You get a job at Kinko's not for the paycheck, but because you're there 8 hours a day anyway!
o You are 18 but can't drive.
o You have 15 library cards each under a different alias.
o Tests are no longer singular efforts!
o The librarians know you so well that you don't even have to go to the front desk of the library to check the book out.
o You've read most of the books in your library, and have a written report on over 3/4 of them!
o You read all the books in the local public library, so you found a loophole that allowed you to check out books from the local university stacks.
o Your list of excuses for not doing your homework is the length of Anna Karenina.
o You exceed the 4200 word limit on the Extended Essay (by over 1000 words).
o The simplest words you know are at least 10 letters long.
o You ask what your summer reading assignment will be in October.
o You come into school at 6:00am to do Biology and don't complain.
o It takes more than one trip to carry the books you need between your car and your locker.
o You carry around vocabulary flash cards to whip out in your free time.
o You can list all 5 definitions on vocabulary tests.
o The saying "When I graduate high school" has been replaced with "If I ever graduate."
o When you are home sick, you can't help but wonder what work you're missing and what your homework is.
o When you're watching TV, you feel guilty because not all of your homework is done.
o You find yourself spelling words out on scantrons. You are deeply saddened when you can only find one letter of "IB SUCKS!"
o You show up 4 hours late to an IB test and still manage to get a "5".
o During a Chemistry test, instead of doing the work, you write a random answer program in your TI-82 and get the highest score in the class.
o Your goal for the year is to complete every item on this checklist
Health:
o You've replaced your Flintstones vitamins with speed.
o Your bed hasn't been slept in since Bush was president.
o Your best friend is Jack Daniels.
o You actually believe "mental health days" are excused absences.
o Brewing coffee takes too long, so you just eat the beans.
o You slip prozac into your Powerade or Dr. Pepper.
o You're afraid of sunlight since you haven't seen it in 3 years.
o You get Advil at cost.
o You get a full upper body workout putting your backpack on.
o You skip breakfast so you can get to school early to get in some extra cramming time and gain that "upper edge" on the rest of the class.
o Breakfast?! What's that?
o The bags under your eyes are heavier than the ones carrying your textbooks.
o You always seem to have one continuous headache.
o You haven't seen light in so long you glow in the dark.
o You find yourself thinking "Without stress my life would be empty."
o You don't carry lunch money - You carry Vivarin, Powerade, and Dr. Pepper money.
o Your contacts are so thick that you have trouble closing your eyes.
o You have a permanent caffeine-and-sleep-deprivation high.
o You actually BUY caffeinated water.
o You can measure your daily caffeine consumption in gallons.
o You can count the number of hours you sleep each week on one missing hand.
o You've taught yourself how to take naps while walking to your next class.
o You've used so much Vivarin, you learn to make it in Chemistry in order to save money.
You actually get used to waking up at 5:00 am.
o You can achieve a Runner's High by sitting up.
o You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
o You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
o The Sun is too loud.
o Trees begin threatening you.
o You can see individual air molecules vibrating.
o While writing a TOK paper, you begin to actually understand the material.
o You explore the possibility of setting up an IV drip of espresso.
o You wonder if brewing is an essential step in the consumption of coffee.
o Things become "Very Clear".
o You begin speaking in a language that only you and Channelers can understand.
o You believe that if you think hard enough, you can levitate.
o You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
o You heart beats in 7/8 time.
o David Lynch comes and says: "Hey, can I film you?"
o You and Reality file for divorce.
o It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.
o You have great revelations concerning Life, the Universe, and Everything else, but can't quite find the words for them before the white glow fades, leaving you more confused than before.
o Antacid tablets and No-Doze become your sole source of nutrition.
o You discover the aesthetic beauty of school supplies.
o You begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty row about it, lose, and refuse to talk to yourself for the rest of the day.
o You yell: "STOP TOUCHING ME!!!" even though you're the only person in the room.
o You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
o Five words: "WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?!?!?!?!?"
o You can spell "Baccalaureate".
o "I.B., therefore I B.S."
o "IB has an honor code?!?!"
o "Friends" and "fellow IBers" are interchangeable.
o You go to bed at 3AM and think, "Oh, it's an early night!"
o Your favorite saying is "If I get a hundred on every test for the rest of the year..."
o Social life? What's that?
o You've fooled yourself into believing that colleges actually care whether you're in IB or not.
o You try to wake up fast enough to catch yourself sleeping - and succeed.
o You talk to yourself in the 3rd person.
o You write sentences on multiple choice tests.
o It's okay to fail, so long as you are not alone.
o You frequently catch yourself saying "What?? We had homework??"
You don't drink, but you find it a convenient way to explain how you dressed yourself in the morning.
Top 10 reasons to be an IB Diploma Candidate:
10) I want to conform to an international standard of educational excellence.
9) I want to be surrounded by other intelligent, dedicated students.
8) I want to work extremely hard.
7) I want to sacrifice almost all of my time to studying.
6) I want my class rank to be as low as it can possibly be.
5) I want to have an overwhelmingly high stress level.
4) I want to immerse myself in an environment of competition and mutual jealousy.
3) I want to burn away any vestiges of creativity or independent thought that I might have left after sophomore year.
2) I want to discover that all of the extra work I did to get the IB Diploma made absolutely no difference in my college admissions.
1) I feel masochistic.
Getting through the year
o You manage to complete a semesters worth of homework the day before the term ends.
o You finish your extended essay shortly after midnight. Your smile of satisfaction fades when you remember to start on your World Lit. paper.
o You've sold your soul…to a teacher…for a C…for the 9 weeks…
o You cloned yourself so you could sell your clones' souls to other teachers for Cs for the 9 weeks again (hey, there may be a profit to be made in this...)
o Desperate to fill up your CAS hours, you claim watching a black and white movie as "creativity" and walking your dog as "activity", and your teacher approves it.
o You have a special "test writing sweater" that you wore to all the IB exams.
o Your idea of impure thoughts is whether or not to copy math homework.
o You can count your last quiz grade on one hand.
o You wonder if there's Cliff's Notes on the Calculus book.
o You don't really cheat - you just tell people the answers.
o Cheating became to difficult, so you took up telepathy.
o You have a tab running at Books-A-Million.
o Bn.com, amazon.com, and Books-A-Million offered to give you a free shipment/order each so you took full advantage of it and are now banned from those stores/sites (it took 6 semis to deliver the orders!)
o You've consulted tarot cards for hints on a History test.
o You have the library on speed dial.
o You've framed the Honor Code.
o You've developed an imprint of your book bag in your back.
o Your best hope for most classes is either divine intervention or a strategically placed lightning bolt.
o Your books weigh more than you do.
o Your thesis for the Extended Essay is whether or not Bert and Ernie are gay.
o Your alternate thesis for the Extended Essay is why IB jokes/checklists are so prolific and the amount of fact contained within them.
o You plead insanity on a research paper.
o Your plea is accepted by your teacher.
o You have a Cliff's Notes Preferred Customer Credit Card.
o You exceed the limit on said credit card--on only Cliff's Notes!
o You do your essays on the plane ride to school.
o You can lead your way through a frog's intestines with your eyes closed.
o You forgot about that pesky Extended Essay thing until the night before it was due.
o You have to stop twice and get gas to make it all the way to school.
o You've been out various times looking for the Abridged Cliff's Notes.
o You consider giving up going to the bathroom permanently to give you more time to study.
o Your backpack is only comfortable when it weighs >30 pounds.
o You have convinced your parents the "1" you received on your IB Physics exam was really the "top 1% of all IB students worldwide".
o You skip breakfast so you can get to school early to get in some extra cramming time to gain that "upper edge" on the rest of the class.
o Your home becomes a "home away from home".
o You think the meaning of life is: G = -RTlnK.
o Your favorite equation is e(iπ)+1=0
o Said equation comes up on a test.
o You go insane from trying to work Pythagoras' constant and the golden rule into said equation.
o You succeed in mathematically correctly adding above to said formula without changing number bases.
o Pressed for time, you conclude a history essay with, "And they lived happily every after. Amen."
o You get into a slugging match over priority for the library photocopier.
o You copy old Theory of Knowledge essays so you can get an A in the Ethics unit.
o You plagiarize from Cliff's Notes for the "What is Truth?" ToK paper.
o It's essential to learn to live with occasional failures.
o "What is the Bronsted Lowry Theory again?"
o Can we say EXTRA CREDIT??
o You actually worry about the 105% you have in math.
o You find that you overreact when you get 2 points marked off on your homework.
o You find that you spend more time sleeping in class than at home.
o You get a job at Kinko's not for the paycheck, but because you're there 8 hours a day anyway!
o You are 18 but can't drive.
o You have 15 library cards each under a different alias.
o Tests are no longer singular efforts!
o The librarians know you so well that you don't even have to go to the front desk of the library to check the book out.
o You've read most of the books in your library, and have a written report on over 3/4 of them!
o You read all the books in the local public library, so you found a loophole that allowed you to check out books from the local university stacks.
o Your list of excuses for not doing your homework is the length of Anna Karenina.
o You exceed the 4200 word limit on the Extended Essay (by over 1000 words).
o The simplest words you know are at least 10 letters long.
o You ask what your summer reading assignment will be in October.
o You come into school at 6:00am to do Biology and don't complain.
o It takes more than one trip to carry the books you need between your car and your locker.
o You carry around vocabulary flash cards to whip out in your free time.
o You can list all 5 definitions on vocabulary tests.
o The saying "When I graduate high school" has been replaced with "If I ever graduate."
o When you are home sick, you can't help but wonder what work you're missing and what your homework is.
o When you're watching TV, you feel guilty because not all of your homework is done.
o You find yourself spelling words out on scantrons. You are deeply saddened when you can only find one letter of "IB SUCKS!"
o You show up 4 hours late to an IB test and still manage to get a "5".
o During a Chemistry test, instead of doing the work, you write a random answer program in your TI-82 and get the highest score in the class.
o Your goal for the year is to complete every item on this checklist
Health:
o You've replaced your Flintstones vitamins with speed.
o Your bed hasn't been slept in since Bush was president.
o Your best friend is Jack Daniels.
o You actually believe "mental health days" are excused absences.
o Brewing coffee takes too long, so you just eat the beans.
o You slip prozac into your Powerade or Dr. Pepper.
o You're afraid of sunlight since you haven't seen it in 3 years.
o You get Advil at cost.
o You get a full upper body workout putting your backpack on.
o You skip breakfast so you can get to school early to get in some extra cramming time and gain that "upper edge" on the rest of the class.
o Breakfast?! What's that?
o The bags under your eyes are heavier than the ones carrying your textbooks.
o You always seem to have one continuous headache.
o You haven't seen light in so long you glow in the dark.
o You find yourself thinking "Without stress my life would be empty."
o You don't carry lunch money - You carry Vivarin, Powerade, and Dr. Pepper money.
o Your contacts are so thick that you have trouble closing your eyes.
o You have a permanent caffeine-and-sleep-deprivation high.
o You actually BUY caffeinated water.
o You can measure your daily caffeine consumption in gallons.
o You can count the number of hours you sleep each week on one missing hand.
o You've taught yourself how to take naps while walking to your next class.
o You've used so much Vivarin, you learn to make it in Chemistry in order to save money.
You actually get used to waking up at 5:00 am.