it's our god-intended right to be loved

[ahoaxtolivefor5]

i carry my stress in my stomach.
i have bad digestion for a reason.
i can't eat for a fucking reason.
and i know i do this to myself.
i KNOW i do.
i wish i remembered how to write.
i wish i didn't use everything in my power to keep me busy.
i wish i knew what to do.
and i don't want to know what you're thinking.
but i do want you to act the way you feel.
and if that's what you're doing,
then this is almost done.
and there might not be much i can do.

my head is everywhere right now.
from you, to me, to him, to her, to work, to this.
to how goddamn badly i need a session.
and a really good fucking cry.

i hate this.
i hate this.
i hate me.
FUCK my stomach kills.

... i wonder if you're thinking what i'm thinking.
i wonder if you're feeling the way i'm feeling.
and enjoying it.
i'd almost be okay with that.
maybe that's what's going on.
or maybe, it's just me.

i sort of hope that's what's going on.