Cheesus?
Proof that I was an awesome year 12-religion class participant. Who was never influenced by Monty Python in the slightest.
THE SEVENTH BEATITUDE
As translated by Alissa ‘Cambert’ Claessens
Blessed are the Cheese Makers: they shall be recognized as children of God.
In the Old Testament people who enjoyed all the dairy products that they needed felt at peace. Cheese makers, therefore, were those who sought to provide others with the love and the cheese that they needed. (This did not mean providing chocolate, milk or cream. Indeed, often what people want is the opposite to what is good for them- Cheese).
Cheese making also demands trying to do whatever a person can do to heal tensions between others, to resolve differences over a nice chunk of cheddar and to restore relationships over Brie on crackers. It is the opposite to stirring tensions and discord in the family (often associated over chocolate), among friends or in a wider community of dairy lovers.
Jesus (nicknamed Cheesy Jesus) wants his followers to love cheese and to do what they can to provide for the needs of cheese manufactures. As they do so, they will be like God who sets no bounds to cheese loving. (Mathew 5:48).
Like children, they will reflect features of their parent; thus their devotion to cheese shall be complete.
This is the word of God
Thanks be to Cheese