So...
Well as you all probably know, I've been single since... forever it seems. I've never dated and i've never had a real interest to either. But as the body ages and hormones change, there becomes a slight ache, a desire for more than just friendly companionship. I've never wanted a boyfriend before, I had one girlfriend in HighSchool, but that was sort of an expected relationship to appease social circles and parents, so does that even count? I never did more than hold her hand and hug her a few times. I was/am a very polite young man.
The one person I ever thought beyond friendship with, is now married and happy. I'm so proud of him... but where does that leave me? Who is left out there for me? I'm not good at dating and even hanging out with Mana-san makes me nervous. I can never tell if someone is interested in me, nor can I tell if I am to them. It's just.. .not noticed to me untill either too late or it's pushed blatantly into my attention.
Does that make me stupid? Naive?
I don't know truthfully. Well, I guess what the point of this journal is... is simply, I want a signiicant other. I'm tired of being the inexperienced one that gets teased and made fun of. I want to have the heartaches and loving memories that everyone else has. I don't want to be this silent recluse anymore.
I am just too shy to get out there on my own.
Being shy has been the biggest downfall to my life. I've lost so much because of it... I just can't see myself changing either. At least... not on my own.
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~ Shinya ~
~
The one person I ever thought beyond friendship with, is now married and happy. I'm so proud of him... but where does that leave me? Who is left out there for me? I'm not good at dating and even hanging out with Mana-san makes me nervous. I can never tell if someone is interested in me, nor can I tell if I am to them. It's just.. .not noticed to me untill either too late or it's pushed blatantly into my attention.
Does that make me stupid? Naive?
I don't know truthfully. Well, I guess what the point of this journal is... is simply, I want a signiicant other. I'm tired of being the inexperienced one that gets teased and made fun of. I want to have the heartaches and loving memories that everyone else has. I don't want to be this silent recluse anymore.
I am just too shy to get out there on my own.
Being shy has been the biggest downfall to my life. I've lost so much because of it... I just can't see myself changing either. At least... not on my own.
~
~ Shinya ~
~