One Piece: The Bonds That Just Are
Title: The Bonds That Just Are
Author: Reyn
Rating: PG-ish
Pairing: imp. Luffy/Zoro
Disclaimer: Do not own. Do not want.
Warnings: Luffy combined with my…loosely inhibited mind.
Author’s Note: This was partially inspired by VAST’s song Three Doors and partially by Maldoror’s One Piece Interludes. I would like to apologize in advance for anything that doesn't make sense. Chances are, it was intended to be that way.
Constructive crits welcome ^_^
THE BONDS THAT JUST ARE
Luffy trotted down the dark tunnel, keeping his eyes and ears open for anything that could prove to be either interesting or distracting. He failed to grasp how taking Zoro away and hiding him in some undisclosed location would ‘test the bonds between first mate and captain’, but the man with the hippo teeth had said it was part of the challenge, and since Luffy had already agreed to it, it was hardly his place to question it.
And so the oddly elaborate game of hide and seek commenced…five days ago. The rest of the crew wasn’t particularly worried, and had even volunteered to help on Day Three. But after some nasty run-ins with a Flaming Pit of Death, an Over Sized Army of Red Ants, Quicksand of Doom, and a Singing Pig On A Stage (all locations that Zoro was not at), they decided it would be best for both their physical and mental health if they just waited at the hotel like they had originally been asked.
Luffy didn’t particularly mind (although he was a little disappointed that they refused to tell him the location of the singing pig), especially since he had a feeling he was getting closer to finding his first mate. So far today he had come across a Haunted Dojo, a Sleeping Tiger, and a Crazy Old Grandpa Who Wore A Pair of Haramaki As Suspenders.
“…King of the Pirates…never make it…”
Luffy paused and looked around, nostrils flaring in an attempt to improve his hearing.
“…bonds…first mate…not strong enough…”
A suspicious glance was cast at the magical floating orb thing that had been following him around since Day One, watching him the way Sanji watched the girls when treating them to ice cream on hot summer days.
“…He…where you are...”
The magical floating orb thing silently stared back.
“King…Pirates…can’t even find…mate…”
Large black eyes looked around, wondering just where the hell that voice was coming from. “Hello?” he called out, continuing down the rocky path. “Is someone there?”
“…Captain…an idiot…”
“Oi, if you’re trying to talk bad about me behind my back, I can here you!” Luffy cupped his hands behind his ears, slowing his pace a bit in an effort to muffle the extra noise he was making.
“Been five days…swordsman…starve to death soon…”
Luffy promptly stopped trying to eavesdrop, causing the orb to look at him questioningly (or as questioningly as an inanimate floating orb with no distinguishable features other than a large metallic eyeball-looking thing could look).
“They’re lying,” the pirate captain explained simply. “Zoro once voluntarily starved himself for almost a whole month while in prison. He can probably last up to three months now.”
The whispers promptly shut up.
The sudden silence took Luffy by surprise, causing him to look about, wondering where the mystery voices went. It was then that he spotted a trap door on the ceiling of the cave.
Huh. What a stupid place to put an exit.
He stretched his arms out and went rocketing towards it regardless, smashing through the wood and successfully leaving the cavern, landing inside of a large Japanese-style room that looked suspiciously familiar…Was he back at the haunted dojo?
Despair overtook the boy and he fell to his knees. Five days! Five whole days he had been searching for Zoro! He didn’t have the time to backtrack now! At this rate he was going to be stuck without Zoro forever and die all alone in this stupid haunted dojo with its stupid ghosts and stupid dancing skeletons…Well…the dancing skeletons were kind of neat actually…
Luffy looked up, fully expecting to come face-to-face with said skeletons, only to find the room just as empty as before.
“And the dancing skeletons are GONE!!” he wailed in misery, startling the floating orb as he began to roll around on the ground in a childish temper tantrum.
For the next several minutes Luffy continued to bemoan about how all the fun was lost in life now that the dancing skeletons were no longer there. It quickly grew apparent that his first mate didn’t even exist in his thoughts anymore; and with this the orb decided it could no longer put up with the boy’s idiocy in silence.
“ENOUGH!” it roared.
Luffy looked up, startled. “Mr. Hippo?”
“And stop calling me that!”
“Where are you?” Luffy looked around before his eyes caught sight of the orb. “Is that some kind of new den den mushi model?”
“No! It’s a state-of-the-art motion camera, and it’s been watching your every move since day one and broadcasting it for everyone to see,” Mr. Hippo explained, his voice filtering through the small speakers stationed on the sides of the camera.
“Eh? My every move? Really?!?” Luffy was scandalized.
“Yes. Every second of every day.”
“…Pervert.”
“What? No! Wait! What I mean is we obviously gave you a censored bit of privacy when it was called for, but-” the train of thought came to a crashing halt as Mr. Hippo realized he was being sidetracked. “Hang on, that’s not the point! Are you some kind of idiot? This challenge is about testing the bonds between captain and first mate, and here you are crying on the floor of the Room of Despair about skeletons of all things! What about Roronoa Zoro?”
The blank look on the Straw Hat’s face was less than assuring. “What about him?”
“YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING FOR HIM!!”
Several seconds ticked by.
“Oh yeah!” Luffy stood and brushed the dust off his pants. “Now which is the way out of this haunted dojo?”
“YOU’RE NOT IN THE HAUNTED DOJO!!”
Luffy blinked. “I’m not?”
“No!”
A glance was cast around the room. “But it looks just like the-”
“It looks NOTHING like the haunted dojo!”
“How would you know?” Luffy asked skeptically. “You weren’t there.”
“This camera has followed you on every step of your journey! Through it I have watched your every move, I’ve told you all this already!”
Luffy nodded in confirmation. “Mr. Perverted Hippo.”
“What? Wait, no, I - Hey, where are you going?”
“To find Zoro,” was the matter-of-fact answer as Luffy disappeared through some random exit.
The orb was quick to follow. “Haha!” it crowed. “You’ve reached the Circular Room! The only way out is to find the door in the corner and - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING???”
“Taking a piss in the corner,” Luffy responded, careful not to take his eyes off the golden stream as he drew out the Straw Hat insignia. His penis was quite the artist if he did say so himself.
“Corner? What corner?!? You’re in a circular room!”
The captain looked irately up at the camera. “You just said there was a corner.”
Like magic, a door appeared next to the slowly-drying Jolly Roger.
“Ah! Where does this one lead?”
“The Hall of Immortality!” Mr. Hippo announced proudly as the door clicked shut behind them. “Some of the rooms connected to this hall will lead to everlasting life, while the majority lead to sudden and instantaneous death.”
Luffy looked dubiously at the continuous row of doors that seemed to extend on and on and on down the corridor. “Is Zoro behind any of these?” he asked.
“Uh, no. Weren’t you listening to what I just said? Some of the-”
“Boring,” Luffy opinionated, turning back to exit through the door he had just come through. But rather than leading him back to the circular room he had previously been in, he found himself…Well, he wasn’t quite sure where he found himself, really.
It was some sort of black void with mist that swirled around his feet with each step he took. After walking several meters, he was able to make out three solid objects in the distance. Upon closer inspection, he realized they were more doors.
“I-I don’t believe it!” the orb cried in disbelief. “You! You made it to the end of the challenge! No one has ever made it to the end of the challenge this quickly before!”
Luffy eyed the three identical doors that seemed to glow in this place of nothingness. “This is the finish line? It kind of sucks.”
“No, you don’t understand. This represents the void and hopelessness you should be feeling moments before you unexpectedly find your first mate. It makes the moment that much sweeter.”
Intent nods of false understanding were given. “So this is where I find Zoro? Behind a door?”
“Yes.”
“Then why are there three doors?” Black eyes widened. “You didn’t cut him up into three pieces did you??”
“Of course not! One of the doors leads to the hotel your crew is staying at, one to the docks your ship is stowed at, and one to your first mate. It’s time to see where your strongest bonds lay, Monkey D. Luffy!”
“You couldn’t have just led me here in the first place?” Luffy questioned.
“No! I told you! The adventure and weariness makes this moment that much sweeter!”
“Alright, then I want the door that leads to my first mate,” Luffy decided.
A suspenseful moment passed.
“Hey, why isn’t anything happening?” the Straw Hat demanded.
The orb flustered for a moment. “Because you have to pick a door!” Really, why wasn’t this boy getting it?
“I did pick a door! Nothing happened!” Luffy complained angrily.
“What? You verbally announce which door you want and you expect the others to just go away?”
“Yes!”
“Why on earth would that happen?”
“Because only one leads to Zoro!”
“What leads to me?” a voice in the darkness asked, causing both camera and captain to whirl around.
“Zoro!” Luffy cried triumphantly as the swordsman’s figure came into view.
“W-w-w-what! What are you doing here??” Mr. Hippo demanded angrily. "Why aren’t you behind one of those doors!”
Zoro shrugged and awkwardly scratched his head. “After a few hours of waiting I got bored and decided to just go back to the hotel. However, I couldn’t find it for some reason. I did come across a pig singing on a stage, though…”
“You’ve been wandering around on my island for the past five days??!?”
“YOU SAW THE SINGING PIG?!?!”
“Yeah. It danced, too…” Zoro trailed off at the blinding sparkles that surrounded his captain. “Er…it wasn’t that impressive…”
“Zoro, we have to see the pig! Come on! We’ll make Nami take us right now!” Luffy ordered as he opened a random door without bothering to put any thought into the matter and dragged his first mate into the lobby of a hotel, leaving behind a completely dumbfounded Mr. Perverted Hippo behind.
---
Owari.