I do know how to type
well I finally decided to post a update, was waiting for something good to say but its been so long i give up...
lets see, I have still at my dead end job due to laziness and misplaced loyalty to my job... I find myself trying to find excuses to not go to work every day and the only reason I find myself going in is this overwhelmingly crushing guilt I get when I think about grabbing the phone. I have been there for about 3 1/2 years now and it took them 3 years to get me my first pay raise (promised at 6 months) and I get the feeling that its the last one I will ever see... what irritates me and my coworkers is the fact that the company keeps growing and getting higher profits each year and we have to work harder and harder (our slow time now is the same speed of our busy time when I started), and we get dicked on anything my bosses wife can find to do so (one of the techs had to take a vacation day instead of a sick day when he called out one day cause he wasn't actually sick, but his kid was... which I think is actually illegal, but not sure)...
and since my mom left (which by the way the fired her when she was on disability from surgery only after a month being gone, which you get 13 weeks) my new dispatcher doesnt seem to be able understand her job since she is regularly screwing it up (she has had the job since september) and her mistakes always ends up screwing up my day in some way (I love getting yelled at by a customer cause she cant seem to fill out a form correctly that she fills out 100 times a day)... and I get yelled at by my boss for not communicating with her enough but everytime I do she flat out tells me she doesn't care or at best a blank stare (this i get when I ask her if there is anything else for me to load, when she is the one that does on the delivery slips and invoicing for all deliveries, which is the paperwork telling me there is something to load)... maybe i got spoiled by someone that actually kept track of this stuff and did so regularly, instead of after someone already needs it (she wastes about a hour of my day this way, which i get yelled at for)...
enough about the joys of work...now to my personal life...
lately there has been a rash of drama, bad moves, and depression running rampant in my private life... almost all of it is everyone surrounding me, the depression is me also... sitting listening to friends suffering with relationship issues reminds me kinda bluntly that I have not had any such issues in over 5 years now, as in no girlfriends or even dates since I dated a girl name Becky... it definitely reminds me that I am a lonely little man...I have good friends that care about me and I know that I am loved in that way, but to put it crudely "it doesn't get me laid", I mean this in a I dont get that feeling of closeness that you get when you hold someone you love and that eagerness that you feel when you are on your way to talk/see them... I really miss those feelings, that mix of love/friendship that you can only get with a significant other...
so yeah my life is filled with boredom, stress, and still missing anything remotely called a spark that makes life, well life... I really need to start doing new things so that I can change the monotonous life i have been living...
on a positive note, I am starting to arrange a monthly anime show, its a limited seat kinda thing so far and invite only...
how and if you want to see my screwed up pics (not of myself) search myspace.com with my email addy ahirab@aol.com...
thats it
Steve
PS remember to do one thing brave today then run like hell
lets see, I have still at my dead end job due to laziness and misplaced loyalty to my job... I find myself trying to find excuses to not go to work every day and the only reason I find myself going in is this overwhelmingly crushing guilt I get when I think about grabbing the phone. I have been there for about 3 1/2 years now and it took them 3 years to get me my first pay raise (promised at 6 months) and I get the feeling that its the last one I will ever see... what irritates me and my coworkers is the fact that the company keeps growing and getting higher profits each year and we have to work harder and harder (our slow time now is the same speed of our busy time when I started), and we get dicked on anything my bosses wife can find to do so (one of the techs had to take a vacation day instead of a sick day when he called out one day cause he wasn't actually sick, but his kid was... which I think is actually illegal, but not sure)...
and since my mom left (which by the way the fired her when she was on disability from surgery only after a month being gone, which you get 13 weeks) my new dispatcher doesnt seem to be able understand her job since she is regularly screwing it up (she has had the job since september) and her mistakes always ends up screwing up my day in some way (I love getting yelled at by a customer cause she cant seem to fill out a form correctly that she fills out 100 times a day)... and I get yelled at by my boss for not communicating with her enough but everytime I do she flat out tells me she doesn't care or at best a blank stare (this i get when I ask her if there is anything else for me to load, when she is the one that does on the delivery slips and invoicing for all deliveries, which is the paperwork telling me there is something to load)... maybe i got spoiled by someone that actually kept track of this stuff and did so regularly, instead of after someone already needs it (she wastes about a hour of my day this way, which i get yelled at for)...
enough about the joys of work...now to my personal life...
lately there has been a rash of drama, bad moves, and depression running rampant in my private life... almost all of it is everyone surrounding me, the depression is me also... sitting listening to friends suffering with relationship issues reminds me kinda bluntly that I have not had any such issues in over 5 years now, as in no girlfriends or even dates since I dated a girl name Becky... it definitely reminds me that I am a lonely little man...I have good friends that care about me and I know that I am loved in that way, but to put it crudely "it doesn't get me laid", I mean this in a I dont get that feeling of closeness that you get when you hold someone you love and that eagerness that you feel when you are on your way to talk/see them... I really miss those feelings, that mix of love/friendship that you can only get with a significant other...
so yeah my life is filled with boredom, stress, and still missing anything remotely called a spark that makes life, well life... I really need to start doing new things so that I can change the monotonous life i have been living...
on a positive note, I am starting to arrange a monthly anime show, its a limited seat kinda thing so far and invite only...
how and if you want to see my screwed up pics (not of myself) search myspace.com with my email addy ahirab@aol.com...
thats it
Steve
PS remember to do one thing brave today then run like hell