ahhhhhhhhhshit.
It's 5.50 in the AM and for some reason i'm sitting here contemplating any and everything.
i'm not really sure why.
maybe it's because i'm uneasy about life these days.
i truely love my boyfriend and everything he does for and with me.
But for some reason i feel as though something,
and I'm not sure what,
but something seems to be missing.
I keep thinking back on different things and times in my life,
some things i'd rather forget and some i hope to remember always.
Certain points seems to stand out,
points i don't really want to elaborate on here,
but just know,
certain points mean more to me than you could ever imagine.
And that in itself is a bit strange,
due to the fact that they were not nessacarily (sp??) anything special or out of the ordinary.
But for some reason they are really seeming to stand out to me tonight.
I keep getting that feeling out missing out on something.
I'm scared that what i want right now,
may not be the same a year from now.
I don't expect or need anything spectacular.
Just a good job, a nifty apt., a sweet b/f and of course the world's best friends ( but that one goes w/out saying. ILU all. <3)
But i'm just so afraid that 5 years from now, or ever one year from now that it won't be enough.
I want the wedding and the 2.5 kids and the suv and all that shit in the future.
I don't want to rush it, but i dont' want to wait forever either.
ah well.
i'm pretty sure i'm rambling at this point.
so i leave with this:
So Wake Up!
Now it's time,
this is all we have.
This is the sound of revolution.
i'm not really sure why.
maybe it's because i'm uneasy about life these days.
i truely love my boyfriend and everything he does for and with me.
But for some reason i feel as though something,
and I'm not sure what,
but something seems to be missing.
I keep thinking back on different things and times in my life,
some things i'd rather forget and some i hope to remember always.
Certain points seems to stand out,
points i don't really want to elaborate on here,
but just know,
certain points mean more to me than you could ever imagine.
And that in itself is a bit strange,
due to the fact that they were not nessacarily (sp??) anything special or out of the ordinary.
But for some reason they are really seeming to stand out to me tonight.
I keep getting that feeling out missing out on something.
I'm scared that what i want right now,
may not be the same a year from now.
I don't expect or need anything spectacular.
Just a good job, a nifty apt., a sweet b/f and of course the world's best friends ( but that one goes w/out saying. ILU all. <3)
But i'm just so afraid that 5 years from now, or ever one year from now that it won't be enough.
I want the wedding and the 2.5 kids and the suv and all that shit in the future.
I don't want to rush it, but i dont' want to wait forever either.
ah well.
i'm pretty sure i'm rambling at this point.
so i leave with this:
So Wake Up!
Now it's time,
this is all we have.
This is the sound of revolution.