make for the table, in hopes that i want be afraid again

Jun 12, 2005 18:13

it is 6:14, six fourteen, fourteen minutes after six, almost six twenty.....all depending on how you look at it.
so here i am trying to see through blurry vision, i don't know what is going on with my eye sight, can't put my finger on it, so i am not going to try. CArly's mom just called and said-"come home", i am sorry to inform her that Carly went missing yesterday. we have sent out a search party, they are dressed as clowns, and are most definately carrying balloons(what is a party without balloons?).
spinach dip was a hit last night, and today the apartment is spotless, as i cleaned for like a straight hour, rilo turned up loud in the background, that cd changed into Coheed, and i am not complaining. so much has to be done before the blonde comes home, maybe she will dye her hair and push the car to Cambodia...a place where the sun sets and the whales sqeal with amusement. no, i kidd. i am trying to decide when i will take I-85 back home...to 400, to twenty, to the raod, to the driceway, to the door, to my bed. there is a picture beside my bed. this picture must be gone beofre i return, for i feel that it will only make this that much harder.
i have decided that Katie will see me sometime this week. coorporate chains have been relaxed, and i am trying to stay confident, but it hard when you almost fall down in the shower..is any of this making sense?
so now the fluid i push past my tongue is beginning to lose flavor...is this my third glass, or my fourth?
there is a balcony that is calling to me. i wish i owned a dress of solid white faric, a man who did not have to try so hard..i think i am back to being myself, something baout the way i argued with the doorman has lead me to believe i have returned.
still, well, my heart is not breaking, just soundly crumbling...i mean come on, i am alone in a room and i am submitting a livejournal report..holy goodness!
WHY? you ask..the answer is easy..i lived, i swore, i loved..just once and then it faded. this world is like a sunset, and i dont want to go home till later.
luv luv
Butterfly
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