Rino Gattuso is now a pirate.
“Arrrrr!”
Obviously the Milanisti have known about this for yonks, but it may be news to some of the rest of us that Gattuso damaged one of his cranial nerves recently and is currently blind in one eye. (Source) He is hoping to return to football in about six months.
Rino hasn’t played since the 9th of September when he came off after twenty minutes, ostensibly because he’d crashed into Nesta (though he explained in his press conference that he was relieved to have an excuse to come off because he’d felt like shit the whole match).
He’ll have to wait three months before he can even have an eye operation, since this condition often goes away on its own. He is as happy with this as you’d imagine, since he can’t drive his kids to school or even use a computer. (NOES! The horror! *Clutches comp*) On the upside, he does now look like a swashbuckling privateer.
Hmmm. This isn’t so good; now he looks like a visiting lecturer. Oh, well, I expect that’ll still please the ladies. (Video of his PC is here, in Italian.)
Highlights of the article: “I’m an important part of the dressing room” (which makes him sound like a light fitting or something) and “I could see Zlatan Ibrahimovic in four different positions.” Let us force away the dual nightmares of (a) an all-Ibrahimovic starting XI and (b) the Nasal Kama Sutra.
Get well soon, me hearty.