Farewell Rospam
As was mentioned in Dirtbunny’s Juve post, Roberto Rosetti is leaving active refereeing duty in order to oversee the people who ref for Serie B. Speculation that this was caused by Cassano or Special being off the market cannot be confirmed at the present time, but anyway, this is BAD BAD NEWS.
This is my Official Post of Mourning, including a RoRo retrospective. Feel free to contribute favourite photos, cos I can’t get enough. *Bursts into tears*
In the beginning, young Roberto had horrible hair. (I’m sorry, I couldn’t find this picture any bigger. Or maybe that’s actually a good thing.)
He also wore a dinner lady’s uniform because the refereeing council refused to stump up for kit.
Eventually he acquired a black and yellow kit, a better haircut,
and the “My god, I’m so attractive” face that he would later sport all the time.
Thus after an abortive experiment with the PORNSTACHE OF HORROR
did he become the grey-templed stud that we know and love today.
I present the Many Faces of Bob.
DANCIN’ BOB
Abba.
YMCA.
Um. Jazz?
Breakdancing, ably accompanied by Inter’s old backline. (Can you even remember? Blimey, it was crap.)
Interpretive dance. Zidane isn’t a patch on Burdisso and IRC. Or even Max.
SCARY!BOB
Sometimes when RoRo’s scary, it’s because he’s trying to be.
Other times, it isn’t.
This one goes into the second category.
He is particularly good at being scary while pointing with his right hand.
Told you.
As for this one, I’m glad we can’t see what sort of face Cruzi’s pulling at him.
Now, if only he’d done that to the other Cannavaro occasionally...
I kept the worst one till last. Enjoy your nightmares.
DISCIPLINING MUTINOUS MINIONS
This is Bob’s second-favourite activity after thinking about how wonderful he is.
Motta: Yawn. No challenge.
Rebellious Germans: similarly uninteresting. (Very large Bob and Ballack picture here.)
Torres was more of a challenge
until Bob taught him to bow down upon command.
And when necessary, he breaks out the dreaded wagging finger! Just watch that bloke in red and black wilt.
Obnoxious man with dodgy hair? Can't see him, can't hear him.
De Silvestri, stop touching my ear.
(OK, some players may just be immune to all criticism.)
¦) Have I ever mentioned that I really, really like Rosetti?
(One of my favourite pictures of him ever.)
SWEATY!BOB
A fan favourite, for some reason.
COMFORTING THE LOSERS!BOB
Lest you need to be reminded, RoRo is quite fond of this.
Most memorable was the occasion when he cuddled Croatians after knocking them out of the Euros. I’m sure they appreciated it.
Violas getting eliminated from the CL?
Excellent. *Moves in for threesome*
SHIPPING!BOB
First, his fellow officials. Well. As anyone who’s seen Kill The Referee knows, he likes them a LOT. (The rest of you, what are you waiting for? Download a torrent! Watch the smooching!)
Certain people think Bob and Special are made for each other. This picture helpfully demonstrates why this will never be. (Look, even the linesman's laughing at him.)
However, he does run round in circles after Vargas, mesmerised by his bum.
His courtship of Javi was more peculiar subtle.
First he ignored him, then he scoffed at him,
got REALLY angry when he read out speeches opposing poverty,
and finally made his move.
But we know who his true love is. (AJ, if you’ve got gifs of the face-patting, now’s the time to show them!)
As we know, their epic love affair began when Cassano took great exception to one of RoRo’s decisions and responded by trying to shove a finger up his nose.
Following that, there were secrets
and Jealous Glares of Evil
before Cheetos finally fell into his arms. (Literally, in fact.)
A BRIEF INTERLUDE
Here is how Bob likes to spend his refereeing time.
1: Matching the colour of his whistle to the colour of his shirt.
2: Praying. (See the little crucifix?)
3: Tidying up the pitch. (He has terrible OCD.)
SMUG!BOB
Well, we couldn’t really end without this.
Bob has the ability to look smug anytime, anywhere.
Er, even while arranging his shorts.
Tremble in fear, other refs! The Ro is here!
Yes, Howard, he is laughing at your attempts to be fiercer than him.
I would add an “O RLY” to this picture, but there’s really no need.
Smug in a suit.
...Oh dear. Now we’re veering into “broken part” territory.
Yep, definitely something mafunctioning there.
And here *sigh* is the World Cup picture that should have told us all it was about to go horribly wrong. (Big version here.) Does that look like the face of our patronising saint to you? No, it looks like an ordinary, rather nice bloke. He’s even smiling properly. We should have known the end days were nigh.
Finally, at Dirtbunny’s suggestion, a parting theme tune to cheer us all up. May the coming seasons be filled with good-looking, supercilious refs.
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