MilanSardinespam: WOOHOO! *cough* I mean, oh knickers
'HALP! I'M STUCK IN A TIN OF SARDINES!'
OK, so I'm not going to lie. I had a bit of a vested interest in this one, and a 0-0 result was, frankly, the best that I could have hoped for. Well, actually, I could have hoped for a Sardine victory, but then I wouldn't've been able to look myself in the eye. I kind of justify my treachery thusly: Milan have won five games on the trot. Milan being Milan, it was only a matter of time before they remembered who they were and collapsed in a pile of suck. Way better that they get held to a goalless draw by my precious fishy babies than get their arses soundly thrashed by ... someone else. Right? Right. Ancelotti shares my reasoning. And, to a lesser degree, so does Paolo. Andrea Cossu, on the other hand, is a bit more belligerent, bless him.
Cagliari 0 - 0 Milan
Stadio Sant'Elia
Cagliari: Marchetti; Pisano, Lopez, Bianco, Agostini; Fini, Conti, Biondini (Lazzari 89); Cossu; Acquafresca (Matri 76), Larrivey (Jeda 34)
Milan: Abbiati; Zambrotta, Bonera, Maldini, Jankulovski; Ambrosini, Gattuso (Flamini 80), Seedorf; Kaka, Ronaldinho (Shevchenko 73); Pato (Inzaghi 73)
Massimiliano Allegri: *is way too pretty to be relegated*
Lotti: Oh my goodness, so you are!
Lotti: *is hypnotised*
Lotti: D'you think he'd say 'yes' if I asked him out?
Allegri: DO NOT LET ME GET SACKED!
Meanwhile, back on the pitch...
Acqua: *still isn't eating properly*
OK, I know this is technically a Milanspam,
but can I take a moment to appreciate Michele Fini?
He was bloody everywhere.
He just didn't give up.
Sadly, he didn't get it in, either. *cuffs him about the head*
OHAI THERE, PRETTY MATRI and your inability to hit a barn door at ten paces.
Mmmm, lovely smooth thighs. I am liking this shot a lot.
Let's look at them again.
[And it seems Lopez was equally smitten.]
'Congrats on another failure to score, dude.'
'Right back atcha.'
...and yet Lopez can look like this, as well. I suspect he suffers from the same affliction as Ambro.
OHAI THERE, ACQUA! *feeds him up*
[Jeda isn't really a dwarf, I promise you.]
[Although, admittedly, you'd be forgiven for thinking that.]
I LOVE this shot. Paolo's so righteously aggrieved, and you can just see Agostini shuffling from foot to foot pretending he doesn't care that he's getting CHEWED OUT BY PAOLO MALDINI! *grins*
Goal.com had Paolo down as Milan's best player.
Which would explain why the Sardines tried to kick his ankles a lot.
Oh. Wrists. Excuse me a moment.
Ricky: Balds and gingers? What the hell is that mad old woman on about, this team's not pretty at all!
Ricky: Oh, all right, you've got quite nice hair.
Yeah, and I like this one, too. Mr Rosetti, Ricky laughs at your giallo.
Lopez: *wasn't that fussy, any Brazilian'd do*
Lopez: *had his limits*
Biondini: *wishes his facial hair would grow like Rino's*
The one and only shot of Larry, before he was poorly. :(
Ron: *is still making stupid hand gestures*
Yeah, not elegant there, Ron.
Yup, there's Fini again.
Ron: *practices levitation*
Pisano: WTF? PUT ME DOWN!
Zambro: *was left in charge of Acqua*
Bobo, my beauty, you want to try closing your mouth. Your sawdust might fall out.
And that, boys and girls, was more or less that.
Uncle G: *was not impressed*
Before we go, though, we have the drama queen awards. Who is the most deserving? Is it Ducky and his melodramatic emoes?
Or is it Acqua's petulant footstamping?
You decide.
Next up, after the international break, Milan host Sampdoria and Cagliari travel to Torino. And I can get back to wanting them both to win again.