karma.
i love reading old entries and laughing about how stupid i was. don't get me wrong i'm still very stupid, but it's funny to remember exactly how stupid i was at an exact point in my life.
this summer has been an interesting one. i still have a whole month till school starts and i'm kinda excited. even though i change my mind all the time about my future i think i'm at a point where i'm some-what satisfied about what's to come, and to me, that is satisfying.
i wish more people really knew me. not just that crazy erin they see randomly at parties. or that quiet erin they see sitting there listening to everyone's stories and not saying a word. i have a lot to say, but i just don't think anyone cares. i have this stupid feeling in my head that if i open my mouth someone is going to interrupt me or no one will be interested in what i have to say.
i think too much and put too much effort into things that i shouldn't. i don't think i've ever opened up to anyone my whole life. of course a little here and there. but not ONE person knows or understands the way i think all the time. and that scares me. so many people have opened up to me, why can't i do the same? i think it's this confidence thing and it has to change. asap.
i hate going to bed not satisfied with my day. i hate going to bed not knowing how someone feels about me. or not knowing if i'm going to have a good day tomorrow. like i said before, i think too much.
see right now i want to stop writing this because i don't think anyone cares but i'm going to keep going because it's a step up from keeping everything inside.
i realized i'm my own therapist. it's great. i know what's wrong with me and i know how to fix it. now doing so is the only problem.
this summer has been an interesting one. i still have a whole month till school starts and i'm kinda excited. even though i change my mind all the time about my future i think i'm at a point where i'm some-what satisfied about what's to come, and to me, that is satisfying.
i wish more people really knew me. not just that crazy erin they see randomly at parties. or that quiet erin they see sitting there listening to everyone's stories and not saying a word. i have a lot to say, but i just don't think anyone cares. i have this stupid feeling in my head that if i open my mouth someone is going to interrupt me or no one will be interested in what i have to say.
i think too much and put too much effort into things that i shouldn't. i don't think i've ever opened up to anyone my whole life. of course a little here and there. but not ONE person knows or understands the way i think all the time. and that scares me. so many people have opened up to me, why can't i do the same? i think it's this confidence thing and it has to change. asap.
i hate going to bed not satisfied with my day. i hate going to bed not knowing how someone feels about me. or not knowing if i'm going to have a good day tomorrow. like i said before, i think too much.
see right now i want to stop writing this because i don't think anyone cares but i'm going to keep going because it's a step up from keeping everything inside.
i realized i'm my own therapist. it's great. i know what's wrong with me and i know how to fix it. now doing so is the only problem.