Why this is the only entry in my journal now.
I had a nightmare last night. All the things I had ever written in LJ had been put together as part of the write a book in November thing (yeah, I know it is still October) and published. Now I didn't have an issue with what I had said being published, but everyone was ripping apart my lack of command of the English language. There were wrong words, wrong spelling, sentences that were not complete (someone was using the old diagram a sentence thing that I hate to demonstrate that) Lots of picking on what I said and what I really meant, some of it like the MST3K that was done of the Anne Rice letter recently. Basically complete ridicule of my writing and me as a person because of my writing, no one ever wanted to speak to me again, I was just too dumb for all of them.
When I woke up from that I was shaking and terrified, could not even think about going back to sleep. So, I got up and did the only thing that seemed logical at 4:37 am, deleted every entry I had ever made in my LJ. I am somewhat sad that I did it, but in my mind at the time, it made perfect sense. I got back to sleep just before the alarm went off I think.
When I woke up from that I was shaking and terrified, could not even think about going back to sleep. So, I got up and did the only thing that seemed logical at 4:37 am, deleted every entry I had ever made in my LJ. I am somewhat sad that I did it, but in my mind at the time, it made perfect sense. I got back to sleep just before the alarm went off I think.