Worst movie I ever actually sat through
Some of us went to see a movie tonight. This one girl thought a theater was showing "Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World." Which I didn't particularly want to see, but thought it might be ok. We got to the theater, and realized she must have confused "The New World" with the Muslim one. They were also showing Narnia, which we had already seen, Tristan and Isolde, and Memoirs of a Geisha. So we voted, and three of the four voted for New World, not really knowing what we were getting ourselves into. I think maybe Bob Longino of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution sums it up best: "...more an ethereal cinematic tone poem than plot-driven story." This could be why I stayed the hell away from English as much as possible in college. And decided to become a biologist. Damn close to three hours of little dialogue, little action, but a lot of highlights. And by highlights, I mean Colin Farrell's hair. It kept getting lighter and lighter streaks. About an hour and a half in, when I realized that nothing was going to happen any time soon, I started to get very bored. By the time Pocahontas died at the end, I was practically cheering for Death. It didn't matter whose--Pocahontas', the writer/director's, mine...
They went on into this collage of the sky and shit like that, while we were just hoping for the damn movie to be over. I glanced over at the two girls, who were trying not to laugh. Which of course, made me crack up. But no one else seemed to be, so I had to try to keep myself from filling the theater with it. Didn't really work. But I believe I set off some UCLA students.
According to yahoo movies, the critics seemed to like the movie. Which drives the nail in the coffin. They never like my favorite movies--ie Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, etc--but they can call this piece of shit great. It may not be the worst movie I've ever seen (I believe that dubious honor goes to "Freddie Got Fingered"), but I would definitely go so far as to say it was the worst movie that I actually sat all the way through.