Let's get Threadless

[ahedonia]

Okay, so I mentioned a post or two ago that I keep submitting slogans to Threadless.com for their t-shirt competition -- which is an ongoing thing. They get their art and/or slogans solely from customer submissions, which they then display on the site for visitors to vote on, and winners get not only their shirt made, but money and Threadless.com store credit. It's a big interactive thing -- the pages for the t-shirts they make even have comments, so people can talk about what they think of them. And since I started trying to make art out of words way before I started making it with a computer, I've been rattling off a couple of slogans every day or so and submitting them, throwing the hypothetical linguine at the wall to see if it sticks.

Apparently, none of it does. There's a page where voters rate submissions,, both slogan and art, where visitors can just sit there and let stuff go past and say either "I'd Wear It!" or "OMG Stupid!" to everything submitted. After I've submitted a slogan, I can go to my user page and see how many positive votes I got out of the number of people who have voted. Once the scores start adding up, I generally don't crack 30% positive. (Of course, "scores adding up" usually means like 40 people have voted. How is that a reflection of the will of the people, I ask you??)

So please stop now and read some of my suggestions and let me know if you agree with me that the visitors of Threadless.com are all poopyheads. Who would turn down this genius?? Here goes:

• Tragically, I am an only twin. (my most popular submission, at 37%, and I didn't even make it up. :-/ I saw it on a personals ad title.)
• My psychiatrist says you don't exist. (I think I'm going to make this one for myself, the people who didn't like it can jump in a lake.)
• Free Tibet...while supplies last!
• 667: neighbor of the Beast (another someone-else's personals ad title)
• Boldly going...back to bed.
• Cat food is for pussies.
• Coasting on my looks.
• I believe we have enough cowbell.
• I wouldn't act so needy if you called me more. (A guy actually said this to me once.)
• I'm very self-conscious about my narcissism. (A friend actually said this to me once.)
• I'd better get to work...that Solitaire won't play itself.
• My meds can beat up your meds.
• Psychotics have mad skillz.
• These boots were made for (Christopher) Walken.
• What am I doing away from the computer?
• This sentence says nothing of value.

EDITED TO ADD: Ooh, and here's what I put in today:

• Let's talk again when my death ray is finished.
• Stop invading MySpace.
• Admit it, you've always wanted a girl robot.
• I like my TiVo better than most people.
• My ironic slogan is on break.

So today I'm also working on a a variation of something, and I'm going to open it up to my flist to help me. If anyone submits the finishing word to this slogan that actually gets us accepted, I'll split with them the prize of $100 cash and a $100 Threadless gift certificate. Kay? Kay. Today I'm trying to play off the phrase "America's Next Top Model." So far I have:

America's Next Top Waddle
America's Next Top Ramen
America's Next Top Mobster
America's Next Top Mollusk
America's Next Top Mongrel

But there has to be something awesome out there, doesn't there? What do you say? "America's Next Top __________"? Feed my obsession, or else I have to go back to work and...<*ack!*> WRITE!