Quotastic

[aheartthatbends]

Alright, so just to illustrate (as if it weren't obvious enough already after my last post) how much I love True Blood, I'm posting my favorite quotes from the first season. The Bill & Sookie love is just undeniable. Watch out Lucas and Peyton, Bill and Sookie are about to become by favorite ship!



Bill Compton: Oh, but you have other very juicy arteries. There is one in the groin that is a particular favorite of mine.
Sookie Stackhouse: Hey, you just shut your nasty mouth, mister! You might be a vampire, but when you talk to me, you will talk to me like the lady that I am!

Bill Compton: [leans in close] What are you?
Sookie Stackhouse: Well, I'm Sookie Stackhouse, and I'm a waitress. What's your name?
Bill Compton: Bill.
Sookie Stackhouse: [giggles] Bill? I thought it might be Antoine, or Basil, or like Langford, maybe. But Bill? The vampire Bill!

Bill Compton: What are you?
Sookie Stackhouse: I told you. I'm a waitress.
Bill Compton: No. You're something more than that. You're something more than human.

Sam Merlotte: It would only be a matter of time 'fore you went off on somebody. I don't want to drive my customers away.
Tara Thornton: I only go off on stupid people.
Sam Merlotte: Most of my customers are stupid people.
Tara Thornton: Yeah... but... I could help you keep an eye on Sookie. You see the way she was looking at that Vampire? That is just trouble looking for a place to happen.

Lafayette Reynolds: Hey, hooka. How you doing'? What are you doing here?
Tara Thornton: I work here.
Lafayette Reynolds: [not believing] Oh no, the hell you don't.
Tara Thornton: Oh yes the hell I do, you ugly bitch!
Lafayette Reynolds: Shit. Sam must've lost his damned mind because you should not be allowed to work in no situation where you actually have to interact with people.

Tara Thornton: I can't work for assholes.
Sookie Stackhouse: Well, I'm glad you can afford to be so picky, Miss Say-Hello-To-The-Rest-Of-Us.

Sookie Stackhouse: Oh, don't worry about Sam. I know for a fact he supports the vampire rights movement.
Bill Compton: How progressive of him.
Sookie Stackhouse: So, is there anything else you drink?
Bill Compton: Well, actually, no. But you can bring me a glass of red wine, so I have a reason to be here.
Sookie Stackhouse: Well, whatever the reason, I'm glad you are!

Sookie Stackhouse: [to remove the thin plastic tubing wrapped around as he he quickly pulls his arm away] I reckon you're not too happy about being rescued by a woman.
Bill Compton: [removed the tubing] Thank you.
Sookie Stackhouse: I can't hear you.
[after trying to read him]
Bill Compton: [louder] Thank you.
Sookie Stackhouse: [kneels down and holds his head between her hands] No, no, no. I can hear you, but I can't... oh my stars.

Sookie Stackhouse: [awakes to find Bill licking at her open head wound] Do I taste different from other people?
Bill Compton: Yes. What are you?
Sookie Stackhouse: Well, apparently I'm not dead. What I am is telepathic. I can hear people's thoughts.
Bill Compton: Even mine?
Sookie Stackhouse: No. That's why I like you so much. I can't hear you at all. You have no idea how peaceful that is after a lifetime of "blah, blah, blah."
Bill Compton: May I ask you a personal question?
Sookie Stackhouse: Bill, you were just licking blood out of my head. I don't think it gets much more personal than that.

Sookie Stackhouse: Did you feed on the Ratrays?
Bill Compton: Yes, after I had given you my blood while you were healing. You drank a lot of my blood.
Sookie Stackhouse: What will that do to me?
Bill Compton: Well, you'll have keener senses.
Sookie Stackhouse: What else?
Bill Compton: [pauses] Your libido will be more active.
Sookie Stackhouse: [blushes] Is that it?
Bill Compton: I'll always be able to feel you. I'll be able to find you fast. If you're ever in trouble, that can come in quite handy.

Sookie Stackhouse: Well Bill, you don't seem like a very good vampire. What can you do?
Bill Compton: I can bring you back to life.

Lafayette Reynolds: Why come you won't call Jason Stackhouse?
Tara Thornton: You are a mean, nasty bitch.
Lafayette Reynolds: And you need to move your sorry ass outcha momma's house. Thats whatcha needs to do.
Tara Thornton: Yeah.
Lafayette Reynolds: All right, all right.But you might got ta find your own ride home. Just in case I get lucky.
Tara Thornton: Whatchu mean if you get lucky? Your standards are so low you always get lucky.

Sam Merlotte: Remind me why I hired you again.
Tara Thornton: Affirmative action!

Jason Stackhouse: Well, thanks for making me look like a fool in front of him, Gran.
Adele Stackhouse: [smiling] Jason, you don't need any help lookin' like a fool.

Sookie Stackhouse: Would you be willing to come and talk to my grandmother's club? It's mostly a bunch of old people who had family in the war. They call themselves, Descendants of the Glorious Dead.
Bill Compton: [incensed] The glorious dead? There is nothing glorious about dying in a war. A bunch of starving, freezing boys killing each other so that the rich can stay rich. Madness.
Sookie Stackhouse: [pause] I'm sure it was awful.
Bill Compton: Would it make you happy if I did this?
Sookie Stackhouse: [relieved] Oh, it would make my grandmother ecstatic.
Bill Compton: Would it make you happy?
Sookie Stackhouse: Well... yes.
Bill Compton: I'll do it then.

Bill Compton: Human are usually more squeamish about vampire than you are.
Sookie Stackhouse: Who am I to be squeamish about something out of the ordinary?

Bill Compton: Take you clip out.
[she remove her clip]
Bill Compton: May I?
[leans forward and takes a deep breath]
Bill Compton: I can smell the sunlight on your skin.
[they kiss passionaty]
Bill Compton: [pushes her away and turns, his vampire teeth drawn] I should see you home.

Bill Compton: You think that it's not magic that keeps you alive? Just 'cause you understand the mechanics of how something works, doesn't make it any less of a miracle... which is just another word for magic. We're all kept alive by magic, Sookie. My magic's just a little different from yours, that's all.

Lafayette Reynolds: Wait, you slept with Sam?
Tara Thornton: Yeah. You know what? He barks in his sleep.
Lafayette Reynolds: Oh damn, white folks is all fucked up.
Tara Thornton: Mm-hmm, that's what I said.

Sookie Stackhouse: Bill, night before last I had to bury my bloody clothes becuase I didn't want my grandmother to know I was almost killed and tonight I was almost killed again! Why on earth would I continue seeing you?
Bill Compton: [very serious] Because you will never find a human man you can be yourself with.

Bill Compton: [in her dream] Sookie, don't ever sneak up on a vampire. What are you doing here?
Sookie Stackhouse: All right, here's the deal... and this is a little embarrassin'. I've never been with a man intimately, for all the reasons I told you about. But... I feel things when I'm with you that make me think and... I know this could be a huge mistake. One I will regret forever, but it feels like you're the one that I'm supposed to, you know... do it with. And... I'm really nervous about that... and frankly I'm scared to death of you. So can we just get it out of the way already so I can relax and get a good night's sleep?
[draws close to kiss her]
Sookie Stackhouse: Just... just don't bite me, Okay?

Bill Compton: Vampires are always in some kind of trouble. I prefer to be in it with you.

Hoyt Fortenberry: Crying shame is what it is. This place ain't gone be the same without Dawn. She had the prettiest nicest smile. Why was I so scared to talk to her? Now I'll never know what her voice sounded like. I bet it sounded like angels and parakeets mixed together.

Bill Compton: [with Sookie at Fangtasia] You able to pick anything up?
Sookie Stackhouse: [looking around] All anyone's thinkin' about here is sex, sex, sex!
Bill Compton: One needn't be telepathic to pick up on that.

Bill Compton: [looking at Eric and back down at his drink] Uh oh.
Sookie Stackhouse: Don't say "uh oh". Vampires are not supposed to say "uh oh".

Bill Compton: [looking at her clothes than back to the road] You look like vampire bait.
Sookie Stackhouse: [laughing] What's that supposed to mean?
Bill Compton: I promised your grandmother no harm would come to you at Fangtasia tonight. I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to keep that promise with you dressed like that.

Lafayette Reynolds: Ain't no antidote to V, boyfriend
Jason Stackhouse: When my grandpa was alive, he had gout. And he said just the weight of a sheet on his big toe was too much to bear. So help me God, that's exactly what this feels like.
Lafayette Reynolds: Maybe you should try rubbin' one out.
Jason Stackhouse: Were you listenin' to me?... I got gout of the dick!

Eric Northman: So, Bill. Are you quite attached to your friend.
Bill Compton: She is mine!
Sookie Stackhouse: Yes. I am his.
Eric Northman: Well, what a pity... for me.

Tara Thornton: Where on earth did you come across V in this town?
Jason: Lafayette.
Tara Thornton: My cousin is dealin' vampire blood now? God damn idiot. Well, at least that explains why I walked in on you dancin' around in that Laura Bush mask yesterday, 'cause I gotta tell you, without a reason, that was some fucked up shit! All right, let me see it.

Pam: [just looks at her] Can I see your ID?
Sookie Stackhouse: Oh. Sure. How funny. Who'd have thought? Getting carded at a vampire bar.
Pam: I can no longer tell human ages. We must be careful we serve no minors... in any capacity.
[looking at her id]
Pam: Twenty-five, huh? How sweet it is.

Tara Thornton: Giving vampire blood to Jason Stackhouse is like giving ho-hos to a diabetic. You know he can't control himself!

Rene Lenier: [watching Hoyt pick up a girl] It's like watching Animal Planet, yeah? Any second she's gonna bite his head off.

Woman on the phone: [ranting over the phone] You will go to hell for this!
Adele Stackhouse: Alright, same to you. Bye now.

Sookie Stackhouse: [about yelling at at neighbor] I shouldn't have lost it like that.
Tara Thornton: Don't you feel sorry for yellin' at that snoopy old bitch. She's been stickin' her nose where it don't belong for years.
Lafayette Reynolds: Say it. I mean, if she talked any more shit she'd be shaped like a toilet.

Lafayette Reynolds: Smell this. You can smell the fear and nastiness comin' off that cornbread.
Tara Thornton: [takes a bit] Tastes just fine to me.
Lafayette Reynolds: See bitch. You gonna wish you ain't did that. Watch.

Sam Merlotte: [walking into Sookie's room] She's asking for you.
Bill Compton: [turning from the window] Is there something you want to say to me?
Sam Merlotte: I want you to stay away from her.
Bill Compton: You know Sookie doesn't take kindly to people making decisions for her.
Sam Merlotte: [pacing the room] You don't need to tell me who Sookie is... I know who she is. I've know a long time.
Bill Compton: Then you'll also know this neither the time nor the place to... mark your territory.

Sookie Stackhouse: Do it, I want you to.
[Bill stares lovingly at Sookie, and then bites her neck.]

Arlene Fowler: Suppose she gets pregnant. How in the world can she nurse a baby with fangs?

Bill Compton: This is where I spend my days.
[Shows Sookie where he sleeps]
Sookie Stackhouse: Does anyone ever get in there with you?
Bill Compton: This is not a place for you.
Sookie Stackhouse: So, we can never sleep beside each other?
Bill Compton: No one else knows where I rest.

Sookie Stackhouse: [surprised as Bill wipes off the mirror] Wait a minute. I thought you're supposed to be invisible in the mirror.
Bill Compton: We started many of the mysteries about ourselves centuries ago.
Sookie Stackhouse: What about holy water?
Bill Compton: [climbing into the bath] It's just water.
Sookie Stackhouse: Crusifixes?
Bill Compton: Geometry.
Sookie Stackhouse: Garlic
Bill Compton: It's irritating . That's pretty much it.
Sookie Stackhouse: [pause, smiling] Wow. I feel a little weak.
Bill Compton: Of course you do. I fed on your blood. You should take some vitamin B-12 to replenish.
Sookie Stackhouse: Will I need to do that everyday?
Bill Compton: If you don't mind, yes. And no garlic.
Sookie Stackhouse: Is it always like this?
Bill Compton: No, it is not.
Sookie Stackhouse: I never thought I'd be able to...
Bill Compton: I am honored that you chose me.

Tara Thornton: I can't believe I spent four hundred dollars to watch you drown a damn possum!

Eric Northman: I have a favor to ask of you.
Bill Compton: A favor or an order?
Eric Northman: Depends on how you look at it. Honestly, did you think you could keep her to yourself?

Sookie Stackhouse: [after they have made love] Doesn't it get old? I mean you've been doing it for over a hundred years. Doesn't it get predictable?
Bill Compton: Not with you it doesn't. You're entirely different. And the beauty and the tragedy of it is that you don't know just how different you are.
Sookie Stackhouse: Please tell me if I'm doing something wrong.
Bill Compton: There's nothing more natural than the act of making love. Who am I to try to change what come naturally to you.
Sookie Stackhouse: But if you could change something...
Bill Compton: I wouldn't change a thing.
Sookie Stackhouse: [pauses] What's it like to sleep in the ground?
Bill Compton: Well, it's not exactly comfortable. But it is safe. Which if I recall is what the three voicemails required me to be.

Lisa Fowler: [as they're eating ice cream] Bill, why can't you have ice cream?
Bill Compton: You might say that I am lactose intolerant.
Coby Fowler: Just like Aunt Fern. Except she don't tolerate Mexicans.

Pam: [to an hysterical Ginger] Ginger enough!
Eric Northman: Thank you.

Eric Northman: [watching Ginger clean up what's left of LongShadow] When Ginger's finished, glamor her for me.
Pam: Are you sure? She's been glamored one too many times already. Who's knows how much is left.
Eric Northman: It's either that or turn her... you want her?
Pam: Please! I'm not that desperate. Glamored it is.
Eric Northman: [satisfied] Excellent.

Pam: You're not going anywhere. Eric and your boyfriend aren't nearly done talking just yet.
Sookie Stackhouse: Is... Bill is some kind of trouble?
Pam: That's for the boys to figure out. Right now what you need to do is change out of your clothes... there's vampire in your clevage.
Sookie Stackhouse: [looks down and gasps] Okay. Eeww!
Pam: Allow me.
[takes the bloody piece out]
Sookie Stackhouse: Thank you.
Pam: I'm beginin' to understand the fuss everyone's makin' over you.

Bill Compton: You do know I'm not going to let anything happen to you. That I am here for you, to protect you.
Sookie Stackhouse: What if I don't need to be protected? What if wanting to be protected makes me feel like the helpless little girl I used to be all over again?
Bill Compton: Sookie... all of the things that you need to be protected from, all of the trouble you're in, you are in because of me. So you needing to be protected has nothing to do with you or who you are. All of it is my fault... So why don't you go to sleep and let me be the one to worry about it.
Sookie Stackhouse: Bill, all the trouble I'm in, it's mine. I chose it. I chose it when I chose you.
Bill Compton: Yes, but...
Sookie Stackhouse: Don't you think I wanna blame somebody else? But what happen to my gran and poor Tina is my fault and it's sweet of you to try to take it all from me. But if I let you, I'd be so mad at you, I would never be able to look at you again. And right now your face is the only thing getting me by. So why don't we just leave it on me, okay?
Bill Compton: [pause, accepting] Very well.

Pam: [looking on as Sookie and Bill kiss] If I had any feeling, I'd have the chills right now.
Eric Northman: Not me!

Sam Merlotte: [transforming] I'm not the killer, I swear. I'm a shapeshifter.
Sookie Stackhouse: [thunderstruck] ... Shut the fuck up.

Sam Merlotte: [in earnest] You love Bill?
Sookie Stackhouse: I think I do. But where is he? If vampire politics are more important to him than me... I don't know... I'm so mad at him, I could spit.

Sookie Stackhouse: I rescind your invitation!
Bill Compton: [crushed] Sookie, don't. Please... Please.

Sam Merlotte: [after Bill has left] Can't you see what he's like? How can you even think about being with him?
Sookie Stackhouse: [distraught] Sam, my living room is wrecked! I've got a killer, a vampire and a shapeshifter on my plate. Right about now I'm not thinkin' about being with anybody!

Eric Northman: Sookie Stackhouse? Haven't you done enough for her?
Bill Compton: If any harm were to come to her because of my absense, you would be...
Eric Northman: [showing his fangs] What?
Bill Compton: Without her helpful skills.
Jessica: Let me out! I wanna do something bad!
Bill Compton: I would be in your debt. I would return the favor.
Eric Northman: Oh, yes you will. You most definitely will.

Maryann: [to Tara] Maybe life just cleared out all the things that weren't working for you. Now you've got room to rebuild. Decide exactly what you want your life to look like and make that happen.

Arlene Fowler: Someday, if I ever find another man, I want you to look inside his head and tell me everything that's in there.
Sookie Stackhouse: Uh... Arlene, it doesn't really work that way.
Arlene Fowler: Promise me, okay? Cause I have the worst taste in men... Is, is Bill goin' to be okay?
Sookie Stackhouse: [her faces crumbles as she cries] I don't think so... no.
Arlene Fowler: [hugging her and crying] Oh, honey. Oh, sweet baby.

Tara Thornton: This one time Lafayette went to Marthaville for the night, he ended up go-go dancin' in Palm Beach for like eight months.
Sam Merlotte: [rolling his eyes] Fantastic!

Sookie Stackhouse: [opening the door and seeing Bill, all better] You're alive?
Bill Compton: Well, technically no. But I am healed. I've fed.
Sookie Stackhouse: Would you like to come in?
Bill Compton: Yes.
[enters as she closes the door behind him. seeing her bruised face, he tries to bite his wrist]
Sookie Stackhouse: No.
[stopping him]
Bill Compton: With out my blood, it will take weeks for you to heal.
Sookie Stackhouse: I don't care. After everything I just need to feel human right now.
Bill Compton: I failed you.
Sookie Stackhouse: [smiling] You were willing to sacrifice yourself to save me.
Bill Compton: But if I could...
Sookie Stackhouse: My life is too short for all that.
[as they kiss passionately]