(no subject)
ten minutes to update.
today in my devotion time i was catching myself self depricating. and i was thinking about how jesus wants us to have love compassion and grace for the least of these. and sometimes its hard to have it for other people, but really, its hardest for me to have it for myself even. i get so mad at myself for mistakes. my thoughts about people, sexuality, the way i spend money or time, the things i say or the way i treat the people i love, etc. and then i was thinking about the man who was crippled. and how there is this girl inside of me that is still crippled and still makes mistakes and still struggles with indwelling sin. the man who was crippled, his healthy friends brought him to the home jesus was inside. they pulled apart the roof and lowered him.
i was thinking about this crippled girl inside who i hate and who i try to hide or clean up or pull up by her bootstraps, and considering how i need to have the same love and compassion for her that jesus has... and how i need to take her to Jesus' house to be washed clean in his light.
it is good to have a healthy drive forward and disdain for sin, but it is not good that the disdain makes me feel crippled in my walk in christ. terrified to talk or encourage or love because how could i exemplify anything when i mess up so much... but how sweet and beautiful that when i am crippled, he does pick me up and call me to himself, looks me full in the face, calls me beloved, rags and all, and reminds me that i am his sweet bought-with-a-price child, and co-heir with christ.
how amazing that Jesus told people how to pray, and it begins with these tender words: "our father"
im leaving for the summer to grow in my walk with God. if you pray, please pray that i would believe more than ever in the saving Love of God... because I am realizing the only thing that will transform my heart from inner poverty is the LOVE of God.
pray for humilty and flexibility and wisdom. pray for my girls that i will be "discipling"... that they would experience the same, that this summer would change their life and teach them to walk intimately with the Lord for a life time. pray for protection, and pray for the community of panama city, that it too would be transformed by Gods Love.
i will be back in ten weeks.
today in my devotion time i was catching myself self depricating. and i was thinking about how jesus wants us to have love compassion and grace for the least of these. and sometimes its hard to have it for other people, but really, its hardest for me to have it for myself even. i get so mad at myself for mistakes. my thoughts about people, sexuality, the way i spend money or time, the things i say or the way i treat the people i love, etc. and then i was thinking about the man who was crippled. and how there is this girl inside of me that is still crippled and still makes mistakes and still struggles with indwelling sin. the man who was crippled, his healthy friends brought him to the home jesus was inside. they pulled apart the roof and lowered him.
i was thinking about this crippled girl inside who i hate and who i try to hide or clean up or pull up by her bootstraps, and considering how i need to have the same love and compassion for her that jesus has... and how i need to take her to Jesus' house to be washed clean in his light.
it is good to have a healthy drive forward and disdain for sin, but it is not good that the disdain makes me feel crippled in my walk in christ. terrified to talk or encourage or love because how could i exemplify anything when i mess up so much... but how sweet and beautiful that when i am crippled, he does pick me up and call me to himself, looks me full in the face, calls me beloved, rags and all, and reminds me that i am his sweet bought-with-a-price child, and co-heir with christ.
how amazing that Jesus told people how to pray, and it begins with these tender words: "our father"
im leaving for the summer to grow in my walk with God. if you pray, please pray that i would believe more than ever in the saving Love of God... because I am realizing the only thing that will transform my heart from inner poverty is the LOVE of God.
pray for humilty and flexibility and wisdom. pray for my girls that i will be "discipling"... that they would experience the same, that this summer would change their life and teach them to walk intimately with the Lord for a life time. pray for protection, and pray for the community of panama city, that it too would be transformed by Gods Love.
i will be back in ten weeks.