"Split" --- (R; Sylar/Mohinder)

[aheartfulofyou]

Title: Split
Author: aheartfulofyou
Rating: R
Pairings: Sylar/Mohinder (Gabriel/Mohinder)
Words: 10,766
Settings/Spoilers: Post-1x18 "Parasite".
Notes: Heroes belongs to the creators and NBC, and various quotations belong to the stated author/artist. Writing is mine, but not much else. For the Niki Challenge at mylar_fic, based around the idea that Sylar kills Niki/

Comments

[butterflyweb]

Back, and though dripping wet (thankyou PA weather), I am a bit more coherent, so comment take two.

Firstly, the Dostoyevsky and Wilde quotes were brilliantly fitting, especially the former. I read Crime and Punishment a while ago, but I had forgotten it enough that the parallel of Raskolnikov (I probably butchered that) and Sylar was a refreshing moment of "oh, yeah" and nerdy book-girl flailing. :)

Gabriel's portrayal was excellent and Mohinder's wrestling with what he should feel versus what he does..brilliantly done. I love the comparision of Jessica to a "hissing cat" and the tragic demise of Lizard!Mohinder was awesome, if a bit terrible.

Then of course, the end. Fuck. As far as crying when reading fan fic goes, it happens rarely, if at all on my part, but there I was, sitting there blubbering cause I knew what was coming but nothing could've stopped it and christ. so sad and so well-written.

All that said, I have to be slightly picky and say that Mohinder's dialogue was a bit too formal for me throughtout the piece, but eh. *shrugs*

I heartily join in the call for a sequel, and congrats on a superb job done!

[sesemperamabo]

I really loved his formal dialogue, personally... It did leave a sense of "why isnt Gabriel speaking that way?" in me, but that's just wishful <<;

And here here for sequel :o

[aheartfulofyou]

Hee, well I'm glad it worked for you, then. :D

[aheartfulofyou]

Actually, you spelled Raskolnikov correctly, so go you. I can't even do that most of the time, and I just finished reading it. :D

And, aw! *Huggles you*. Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it!

Also, are there any specific parts where you thought Mohinder's dialogue was too formal? I could look through it and maybe tweak some sentences a bit. I know it's Mohinder, and he talks in exposition a lot on the show, but I may have gone slightly overboard, so if there're specific parts... :)

Thanks again!

[butterflyweb]

Sorry that it took me a stupidly long time to get back to you. Actually, on re-reading it, the more elevated dialogue seems to work fine. I think the part that initially caught me up was Mohinder's dialogue with Bennet, but then, as he's talking about a semi-scientific subject, that may be more appropriate than I orginally thought.

So, in conclusion, you're fine and ignore me. :)