(no subject)
My father gets better and then worse.
Living away from home, i'm not there to see whats going on. For some reason its gotten really bad. Dad has taken to going off in the middle of the day..to tie one on...then comes home and starts calling my mother a useless cunt, for no other reason than he feels like it.
There is a constant power struggle there. He shouts at her....she shouts back..
YOU MADE ME THIS WAY! I'M THIS WAY BECAUSE OF YOU!
screaming this, in the back yard..while the neighbors are out......they live in teh city....
i get up and leave.......but get guilted back out into the yard before too long..
i find my mother in the basement folding laundry.....angry, telling me her escape plan
it would all be soo easy
she'll leave him, and take everything
she'll just not take her medicine in the morning.....the insulin.......it wont take long before she goes into shock and dies
its would all to be easy.
in my mind i know she's full of crap. that she's doing this because she's desperate for attention. she is a victim, always.
she's unraveling..and there is nobody there to help her. i can't. i want to..but i cant.
its hard for me to even be nice to her half the time.
She is just soo angry at the world. She talks shit about each and every one of her friends. nobod is safe...they do this or that..and its just not right.......she contricts herself...and just spews venom.
I think she may be losing her mind..
and I can't be nice.
i am not a good daughter
Living away from home, i'm not there to see whats going on. For some reason its gotten really bad. Dad has taken to going off in the middle of the day..to tie one on...then comes home and starts calling my mother a useless cunt, for no other reason than he feels like it.
There is a constant power struggle there. He shouts at her....she shouts back..
YOU MADE ME THIS WAY! I'M THIS WAY BECAUSE OF YOU!
screaming this, in the back yard..while the neighbors are out......they live in teh city....
i get up and leave.......but get guilted back out into the yard before too long..
i find my mother in the basement folding laundry.....angry, telling me her escape plan
it would all be soo easy
she'll leave him, and take everything
she'll just not take her medicine in the morning.....the insulin.......it wont take long before she goes into shock and dies
its would all to be easy.
in my mind i know she's full of crap. that she's doing this because she's desperate for attention. she is a victim, always.
she's unraveling..and there is nobody there to help her. i can't. i want to..but i cant.
its hard for me to even be nice to her half the time.
She is just soo angry at the world. She talks shit about each and every one of her friends. nobod is safe...they do this or that..and its just not right.......she contricts herself...and just spews venom.
I think she may be losing her mind..
and I can't be nice.
i am not a good daughter