Heyo
So I just spent 8 days in the psychiatric ward at my neighborhood hospital. Never thought I'd say that.
But yeah... basically it got really bad for me last Thursday afternoon. Hallucinations one after another after another, dizzy, light-headed, feeling like crap, and just constant aggression and very creative self-destructive suicidal thoughts. And they weren't my thoughts. It was like being possessed. Losing control of your body and your mind and emotions and being forced to watch it all.
It was BAD.
So, off to the emergency psych ward at the U of A hospital. Bet you didn't know they had one of those, eh?
Imagine a bare room with a skeletal hospital bed in the center. A camera imbedded in the wall and directed at the bed. Walls, a calming pink. No doorknob on my side of the door.
It was like a jail-cell, really. But it was safe, and it was exactly what I needed, if that makes any sense.
Had a mental breakdown right then and there for a good 10 hours probably. Facedown on the bed, violently shaking under a warm blanket. Letting all the crap run its course. It was like the floodgates of my mental dam had just come open.
After that, since there were no full-time beds at the U of A, they transferred me to the Royal Alex friday morning. And for those seven days, I've been picking up the pieces from that breakdown.
I finished piecing it back together a few days ago, and they just discharged me today after waiting and making sure I didn't relapse.
And I've never felt this good for a long long time. I'm still a little broken, but shattering into pieces like that has made me stronger too.
That's all I got for now,
Peace...
But yeah... basically it got really bad for me last Thursday afternoon. Hallucinations one after another after another, dizzy, light-headed, feeling like crap, and just constant aggression and very creative self-destructive suicidal thoughts. And they weren't my thoughts. It was like being possessed. Losing control of your body and your mind and emotions and being forced to watch it all.
It was BAD.
So, off to the emergency psych ward at the U of A hospital. Bet you didn't know they had one of those, eh?
Imagine a bare room with a skeletal hospital bed in the center. A camera imbedded in the wall and directed at the bed. Walls, a calming pink. No doorknob on my side of the door.
It was like a jail-cell, really. But it was safe, and it was exactly what I needed, if that makes any sense.
Had a mental breakdown right then and there for a good 10 hours probably. Facedown on the bed, violently shaking under a warm blanket. Letting all the crap run its course. It was like the floodgates of my mental dam had just come open.
After that, since there were no full-time beds at the U of A, they transferred me to the Royal Alex friday morning. And for those seven days, I've been picking up the pieces from that breakdown.
I finished piecing it back together a few days ago, and they just discharged me today after waiting and making sure I didn't relapse.
And I've never felt this good for a long long time. I'm still a little broken, but shattering into pieces like that has made me stronger too.
That's all I got for now,
Peace...