dreaming of you
Well, so, my days of vivid dreams have returned. Halleluja.
Two nights ago, I dreamed that I was trying to rescue a rat that had fallen into the sewer. My "team" and I had to don orange radioactive suits (did I mention that this sewer was in a nuclear power plant?) and go on a mission to retrieve this rat. Also, this was illegal so we had to try not to get caught. One of the guys on the team stayed outside, guarding the door, and the rest of us (around 5-6) went in. I was so paranoid that we were going to get caught, and I kept seeing the kid guarding the door, and other people would come down to that room he was in, and he would distract them from going through the door where we were (because we would have been discovered). Anyway, at the end my Dad (who apparently worked at the nuclear power plant) came down and wasn't fooled by the kid's distractions, and opened the door right as we saw the rat float by, but we weren't able to save it because my dad started yelling and distracting everyone. Then I woke up.
Last night, I had a dream that I was at my old house and having a birthday party. Feña was there and really nervous about meeting my family. I did a horrible job of introducing him to people...and for some reason in my dream he didn´t speak English so it was really awkward. Then, the food was ready but mom didn´t tell me so it got cold, then no one wanted to eat it. My mom told me that I was being a bad host and not paying attention to my guests and making them eat, and that instead I was too worried about Feña. Then the party was over, and after everyone left, I realized that no one had brought me presents and that we had forgotten to eat cake, so that made me really sad. Then I realized that Feña had disappeared, and I thought he had maybe gone back to Chile without saying goodbye, but I ran up to my room and he was asleep on the bed, so I laid down beside him and was happy.
Then later, I had a dream that I was living at Feña´s house in Santi and Lin was there with Rars and Feña and I were talking through messenger even though we were in the same house, which is weird, and then my sister started yelling at me and I woke up to the sounds of Kim´s yoga tape at 7 in the morning.
My job/life sucks right now. I want to be with Feña and I´m staring to not be satisfied just talking to him. I need physical contact. I crave it more than anything in the world. There have been moments of insanity where I have considered dropping out of Colby and going to Santiago. But I know that I can´t do that because I would be throwing so much away. I just kind of wish that I was that sort of spontaneous person who could do that. But Feña also has told me that I can´t go back to Chile just for him; I have to go back for me. I´m having a hard time telling what the difference between those two things are.
Two nights ago, I dreamed that I was trying to rescue a rat that had fallen into the sewer. My "team" and I had to don orange radioactive suits (did I mention that this sewer was in a nuclear power plant?) and go on a mission to retrieve this rat. Also, this was illegal so we had to try not to get caught. One of the guys on the team stayed outside, guarding the door, and the rest of us (around 5-6) went in. I was so paranoid that we were going to get caught, and I kept seeing the kid guarding the door, and other people would come down to that room he was in, and he would distract them from going through the door where we were (because we would have been discovered). Anyway, at the end my Dad (who apparently worked at the nuclear power plant) came down and wasn't fooled by the kid's distractions, and opened the door right as we saw the rat float by, but we weren't able to save it because my dad started yelling and distracting everyone. Then I woke up.
Last night, I had a dream that I was at my old house and having a birthday party. Feña was there and really nervous about meeting my family. I did a horrible job of introducing him to people...and for some reason in my dream he didn´t speak English so it was really awkward. Then, the food was ready but mom didn´t tell me so it got cold, then no one wanted to eat it. My mom told me that I was being a bad host and not paying attention to my guests and making them eat, and that instead I was too worried about Feña. Then the party was over, and after everyone left, I realized that no one had brought me presents and that we had forgotten to eat cake, so that made me really sad. Then I realized that Feña had disappeared, and I thought he had maybe gone back to Chile without saying goodbye, but I ran up to my room and he was asleep on the bed, so I laid down beside him and was happy.
Then later, I had a dream that I was living at Feña´s house in Santi and Lin was there with Rars and Feña and I were talking through messenger even though we were in the same house, which is weird, and then my sister started yelling at me and I woke up to the sounds of Kim´s yoga tape at 7 in the morning.
My job/life sucks right now. I want to be with Feña and I´m staring to not be satisfied just talking to him. I need physical contact. I crave it more than anything in the world. There have been moments of insanity where I have considered dropping out of Colby and going to Santiago. But I know that I can´t do that because I would be throwing so much away. I just kind of wish that I was that sort of spontaneous person who could do that. But Feña also has told me that I can´t go back to Chile just for him; I have to go back for me. I´m having a hard time telling what the difference between those two things are.