I love the surreal.
Last post: April 2008. Funny, how much has happened. And now much things are still the same. But it's only been a year, even though a year used to feel so long. Life has that way to do that. Shit's just weird. Everything's just weird. I don't know what or how to describe these things; but they are just weird, whatever these things may be.
I had the strangest dream this morning. I was basically drugged into a coma, but it was strange. I was still alive in my dream world, but because in a coma, I was dreaming. I was awake, with no mobility but complete visuals of the "real world" (my dream world), but dreaming at the same time. I heard the voices of the people taking care of me, but I also wa experiencing the most intense pain I have ever felt from my coma. The dream in my dream felt horrific. On a surgery table, from when I had my knees worked on. Bright lights blurred my vision, but silhouettes of what were percieved to be doctors and nurses surrounded me. And I just screamed. I scream loud, hard; I screamed to where I lost feeling in my throat. I screamed to where my throat became coarse, rough. I heard voices saying, "It must be the drugs; she must be dreaming." I felt heavy, in this "real world." Everything felt real, and in my dream world, I felt like I was dying. I had become drunk, to a state of stupor. My face planted into a pillow, lying on my stomach, I screamed again. Each scream a cry of pain from these surgeries taking place in my "dream," my coma. I had no pain killers, no anesthetic's whatsoever. These "doctors" were slicing and dicing through my body, and I ached all over. I felt the pain I felt when I was recovering from surgeries. Such difficulty to describe how this felt. A throbbing ache, pain... All I knew is I felt this all over my body. On top of the slicing. On top of the drunken stupor, and heavy feeling from drugs. It was surreal. Even in my dream world. It felt so real, but yet knew it wasn't happening. ...And it scared the piss out of me.
Things in life are just strange. This song is actually relevant: "I Song" by Kevin Rudolf.
"I want it all; But I take just a little. ...We get high just to try and relieve the pain but a voice inside reminds me there must be a better way..."
I had the strangest dream this morning. I was basically drugged into a coma, but it was strange. I was still alive in my dream world, but because in a coma, I was dreaming. I was awake, with no mobility but complete visuals of the "real world" (my dream world), but dreaming at the same time. I heard the voices of the people taking care of me, but I also wa experiencing the most intense pain I have ever felt from my coma. The dream in my dream felt horrific. On a surgery table, from when I had my knees worked on. Bright lights blurred my vision, but silhouettes of what were percieved to be doctors and nurses surrounded me. And I just screamed. I scream loud, hard; I screamed to where I lost feeling in my throat. I screamed to where my throat became coarse, rough. I heard voices saying, "It must be the drugs; she must be dreaming." I felt heavy, in this "real world." Everything felt real, and in my dream world, I felt like I was dying. I had become drunk, to a state of stupor. My face planted into a pillow, lying on my stomach, I screamed again. Each scream a cry of pain from these surgeries taking place in my "dream," my coma. I had no pain killers, no anesthetic's whatsoever. These "doctors" were slicing and dicing through my body, and I ached all over. I felt the pain I felt when I was recovering from surgeries. Such difficulty to describe how this felt. A throbbing ache, pain... All I knew is I felt this all over my body. On top of the slicing. On top of the drunken stupor, and heavy feeling from drugs. It was surreal. Even in my dream world. It felt so real, but yet knew it wasn't happening. ...And it scared the piss out of me.
Things in life are just strange. This song is actually relevant: "I Song" by Kevin Rudolf.
"I want it all; But I take just a little. ...We get high just to try and relieve the pain but a voice inside reminds me there must be a better way..."