(no subject)
I demand that NYU provide me with the following:
1. A nice box with my diploma. I am going to need a place to sleep, and good boxes are hard to come by these days.
2. Better toilet paper in Bobst library. What is this, Ethiopia? My ass deserves better than some crappy price club single-ply junk. Come on.
3. The removal of all suicide barriers and locks on doors to places I could potentially commit suicide. I have a right to die in a manner of my own choosing.
4. Access to all balconies in the dorm and the ability to open my window more than a nanometer. Wait a minute…fuck that. I don’t need balconies or windows. I’ll just continue to smoke at my kitchen table. That is fine by me.
5. Two words: more buses.
6. The inclusion of a required physical education course on the schedule of all heterosexual males. You all are getting flabby and frankly, beer guts are vile. The girls here may be desperate for some hetero lovin’, but that doesn’t mean we no longer have standards. Hop to it, fatties.
That’s all for now. Can you tell that I am kind of cranky?
1. A nice box with my diploma. I am going to need a place to sleep, and good boxes are hard to come by these days.
2. Better toilet paper in Bobst library. What is this, Ethiopia? My ass deserves better than some crappy price club single-ply junk. Come on.
3. The removal of all suicide barriers and locks on doors to places I could potentially commit suicide. I have a right to die in a manner of my own choosing.
4. Access to all balconies in the dorm and the ability to open my window more than a nanometer. Wait a minute…fuck that. I don’t need balconies or windows. I’ll just continue to smoke at my kitchen table. That is fine by me.
5. Two words: more buses.
6. The inclusion of a required physical education course on the schedule of all heterosexual males. You all are getting flabby and frankly, beer guts are vile. The girls here may be desperate for some hetero lovin’, but that doesn’t mean we no longer have standards. Hop to it, fatties.
That’s all for now. Can you tell that I am kind of cranky?