Blood Rising - Part Fifteen

[gregoria44]

Title: Blood Rising (Part Fifteen)

Author: gregoria44

Rating: 15+ for mature concepts, this part

Word count: This part 1,576

Summary: Keep on moving.

A/N: Same as Part One. All comments and concrit always welcome. Sorry that this part is fairly short - real life has been pleasantly distracting of late. Special thanks to haldoor, rivers_bend, ladywillin and everyone who's been

Comments

[lankyguy]

Wonderful, but all too brief. NOT complaining, I'm just a spoiled American and I want everything NOW!!!!!

But SRSY, this is good, and all things grand, and I relish every chapter. I have proprietary relationship with these boys - in my head anyway. I'm so grateful there was no 'Wow, I was so drunk last night I don't remember a thing' garbage. I love the way you're handling this. They both know what they're doing/what they want.

I still love the pants off Duncan. Poor, jealous Mark, we've all been there.

Funny it reminds me of Chuck Palahniuk talking in the commentaries on Fight Club, about the homoeroticism inherent when a guy gets jealous of his handsome best friend finding a new cooler, friend. It's such a universal but largely ignored fact of life - even straight guys crush on the handsome, cool blokes! You capture that beautifully in very few words.

I love this series.

[gregoria44]

Why, you spoiled American, you!

I did wonder whether to hold off 'til I had more story down - but realised that once again it was WAY too long since I'd posted any at all. I'm pleased to say it's obviously worked, because once I'd got this up here, I promptly wrote another 800 words, which is unheard of for me in one shot!!

And I'm so over the moon that people 'get' the dynamic I'd intended, maybe they've felt like 'my boys' for a long time, but sharing them makes me much happier.

Thank you.

p.s. I do enjoy this shower icon of yours.

[haldoor]

Oh, Lanky guy has it right. You, my love, are wonderful, and this series is completely awesome. You say so much in such a deliciously concise way that I envy immensely. Some delicious lines:

I made a noise that sounded more like a stalling engine than a decent excuse.

I fell asleep with myself in hand, still hot and heavy from his touch.

My head filled with a picture of her from the last time I could remember: thin face, thin hair, thin arms, thin clothes.

Painful awkwardness stretched along the phone line between us.

My words were thick and reluctant in the stifling warmth.

Great stuff! ;-)

[gregoria44]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

And how you keep me going in this.

*hugs*

[rospberry]

And I'll echo the others in wanting more in a greedy 'loving every word' kind of way.

The images you create are so vivid that this plays out in my head like a film. I love the awkwardness, the realism, the tale it tells.

There were so many fantastic lines that haldoor has already listed so I'll just point up to her post and nod in agreement. I think this one was my favourite:

I fell asleep with myself in hand, still hot and heavy from his touch.

[gregoria44]

More to come very soon, Brownie promise!

Thank you - I'm practically glowing from all these positive comments.

*warms hands on resulting heat*

[msb66]

You write with a great realism, and very consicely. This creates extremely vivid pictures in my mind.

I am always glad to see this story progress and look forward to more.

[gregoria44]

Thank you so much. I think I've said before, but getting the picture across is always a big concern for me, it's always a relief to hear it's worked.

More soon, and I mean it this time!

[ladywillin]

Excellent as usual.

I echo all the great lines chosen by Hal and would add this to the collection:

There didn’t appear to by any physical harm to anyone or anything, but remaining bodies were heaped around like despondent refugees at border control.

Just because I love a good simile and this is a good un!

I am so pleased that Steve and Des' relationship is being given chance to develop. I like the paradox that whilst this has the potential to be angst ridden, it is in fact giving Steve (and us as readers) something to feel good about, especially since his family life has its own set of problems. It's such a minefield for a teenage boy and you know, for a thirty-something, female, married mother, you sure do teenage boys (some of whom happen to be finding their gay selves) extraordinarily well.

[lankyguy]

I like the paradox that whilst this has the potential to be angst ridden, it is in fact giving Steve (and us as readers) something to feel good about, especially since his family life has its own set of problems.

this.

[gregoria44]

:)

[gregoria44]

Thank you, thank you.

you sure do teenage boys ... extraordinarily well.

Shh, you'll spread rumours!

Srsly though, this thirty-something female is very pleased that people are finding this realistic enough.

Did I say thank you already?

:D