It's Never Over, a new Maddison fic
After the day Mark had, he was in desperate need of a drink...or ten. As soon as he changed out of his scrubs he headed across the street to Joe's bar to ease the pain. It had started to rain, in typical Seattle fashion and he zipped up his leather jacket in an attempt to shield himself from the downpour. As soon as he stepped through the door he noticed her sitting there. What surprised him was that she was alone. He had figured she'd be with her new boy toy tonight. He was fully prepared to walk out and seek alochol elsewhere when he heard her call him over. "Mark?" The moment his name left her lips he knew he couldn't just walk away. Besides he was curious as to why she was alone. He walked over to the bar, taking a seat on the stool next to her. "Addison" he replied in what was a more bitter tone than he had intended.
She turned her head to look him in the eyes and the confusion on her face was clear as she wrinkled her forehead and pursed her lips."Why are so angry?" she asked hesitantly before taking a sip of her martini. He let out a heavy sigh not wanting to explain himself and he ordered a drink to buy himself some time. Addison was growing impatient and she looked at him with a raised eyebrow as she slid an olive into her mouth. "If anything shouldn't I be angry with you?" she asked her voice more inquisitive than irritated. Mark rolled his eyes at her comment, she had no reason to be angry with him. He had after all, let her off the hook when he lied to her earlier,telling her he had slept with someone. It wasn't as if she wanted him. Addison quickly gave up her efforts on questioning him and asked him something she had been wondering to herself since she had left the hospital. "Fine don't answer me. Maybe you can help me though. Because I've been sitting here wondering....What is it about me, that makes me good enough to screw but not good enough to love or even just date?" she asked sighing loudly. Mark practically groaned upon hearing her question, his resolve quickly fading. I could ask you the same thing Mark thought to himself. "What's wrong Addison? Karev didn't want anything serious?" he growled. Addison froze.
He knew about Alex? Why hadn't he said anything earlier? It wasn't like Mark to keep things he was angry about to himself like that. She looked down at her drink, not daring to meet his eyes as she spoke, her voice slightly shaky. "You know about that?"she asked with evident guilt in her voice. She thought back to that morning. Mark had been so hopeful when they spoke on the elevator. Mark turned his head, he couldn't look at her. "I saw you." he spit out angrily. Addison cringed inwardly "Is that why you slept with someone? TO get back at me?" she asked hesitantly. Mark's voice grew quiet "I didn't...sleep with anyone." he admitted, taking another taking a gulp of his scotch, with a strong desire to feel numb. Addison quickly turned her eyes to him in surprise. Speaking softly she asked "Why did you lie?" Mark sighed as he felt her eyes burning into him, the surprise evident in her voice. "Damn it Addison...I was giving you an out." he admitted weakly."After seeing you with him, it became pretty clear that you didn't want me and believe it or not the idea of being with someone who doesn't want to be with me isn't all that appealing" Addison was overwhelmed with guilt at his admission. Here he was trying to change for her and she screwed him over royally. She could hear his words in her head "Once a man whore always a man whore,right?" It was clear to her now that he was talking about her view of him not his own.
She reached out to touch his hand and winced when he pulled it away. "I don't need you're pity Addison." he growled at her. She couldn't blame him for being angry and she knew at the very least she owed him an explanation. "Mark" she sighed "I'm sorry I hurt you. I shouldn't have slept with him, especially given that the bet was my idea in the first place." Mark practically snorted in agreement. "I should have known then." he said in a defeated tone."There I was telling you I felt about you the way Derek did for Meredith and all you could say was that It was a shame to throw away our history. You didn't say you felt the same, or that you missed me. You just said it was a shame to throw it away. As if you only wanted to be with me because it was convenient for you."
Addison let out a quiet sigh and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "Mark it's not like that" she started. "It's just...when we're...together it's amazing, it really is but I want more than just great sex." Mark rolled his eyes "So did I Addison. So did I." he said rather annoyed with her. "Yeah I know but just because you stopped having sex with other women... It still didn't make you the kind of man I need to be with. I want someone who would be committed, I want a guy who would play catch with our kids, and barbecue. That's just not you Mark, no matter how much I want it to be, it's just not." she sighed.
"Addison, I could be that guy. I just needed you to give me a chance. I'm not a kid anymore. You think I like being alone, living in that hotel? I wanted to have a baby with you before remember? That never changed. If you had just given me a chance, I could have been that guy for you. I wanted to be that guy for you Addison. I wanted to be that guy for me. And with you...I could have been." he admitted quietly downing a good portion of his glass. "Mark that's very sweet but can you honestly see yourself being a family man? I've never seen you with a kid."
Mark looked into her eyes "Yes I can. I know I'm not great with kids now, but that's because I'm never around them. It would be different with OUR kids because they'd be ours and I'd love them. I'd read all of those stupid parenting books with you and I'd learn everything I don't know. I WOULD teach them how to catch a baseball and I WOULD barbecue on the weekends and we'd take trips to the beach and you and I would get a babysitter so we could still spend time alone. If we were together...I would do all of those things." "Don't you get it? All I've ever wanted was to have a chance with you. A real chance, without Derek or Alex or anyone else to get in the way." Mark sighed in quiet frustration. "I don't know what else to do to prove it to you."
Addison leaned over and kissed his lips hesitantly and his pride told him to pull away and make her suffer a little like he had for so long but damn it her lips felt like home and he just couldn't make himself pull away.
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She turned her head to look him in the eyes and the confusion on her face was clear as she wrinkled her forehead and pursed her lips."Why are so angry?" she asked hesitantly before taking a sip of her martini. He let out a heavy sigh not wanting to explain himself and he ordered a drink to buy himself some time. Addison was growing impatient and she looked at him with a raised eyebrow as she slid an olive into her mouth. "If anything shouldn't I be angry with you?" she asked her voice more inquisitive than irritated. Mark rolled his eyes at her comment, she had no reason to be angry with him. He had after all, let her off the hook when he lied to her earlier,telling her he had slept with someone. It wasn't as if she wanted him. Addison quickly gave up her efforts on questioning him and asked him something she had been wondering to herself since she had left the hospital. "Fine don't answer me. Maybe you can help me though. Because I've been sitting here wondering....What is it about me, that makes me good enough to screw but not good enough to love or even just date?" she asked sighing loudly. Mark practically groaned upon hearing her question, his resolve quickly fading. I could ask you the same thing Mark thought to himself. "What's wrong Addison? Karev didn't want anything serious?" he growled. Addison froze.
He knew about Alex? Why hadn't he said anything earlier? It wasn't like Mark to keep things he was angry about to himself like that. She looked down at her drink, not daring to meet his eyes as she spoke, her voice slightly shaky. "You know about that?"she asked with evident guilt in her voice. She thought back to that morning. Mark had been so hopeful when they spoke on the elevator. Mark turned his head, he couldn't look at her. "I saw you." he spit out angrily. Addison cringed inwardly "Is that why you slept with someone? TO get back at me?" she asked hesitantly. Mark's voice grew quiet "I didn't...sleep with anyone." he admitted, taking another taking a gulp of his scotch, with a strong desire to feel numb. Addison quickly turned her eyes to him in surprise. Speaking softly she asked "Why did you lie?" Mark sighed as he felt her eyes burning into him, the surprise evident in her voice. "Damn it Addison...I was giving you an out." he admitted weakly."After seeing you with him, it became pretty clear that you didn't want me and believe it or not the idea of being with someone who doesn't want to be with me isn't all that appealing" Addison was overwhelmed with guilt at his admission. Here he was trying to change for her and she screwed him over royally. She could hear his words in her head "Once a man whore always a man whore,right?" It was clear to her now that he was talking about her view of him not his own.
She reached out to touch his hand and winced when he pulled it away. "I don't need you're pity Addison." he growled at her. She couldn't blame him for being angry and she knew at the very least she owed him an explanation. "Mark" she sighed "I'm sorry I hurt you. I shouldn't have slept with him, especially given that the bet was my idea in the first place." Mark practically snorted in agreement. "I should have known then." he said in a defeated tone."There I was telling you I felt about you the way Derek did for Meredith and all you could say was that It was a shame to throw away our history. You didn't say you felt the same, or that you missed me. You just said it was a shame to throw it away. As if you only wanted to be with me because it was convenient for you."
Addison let out a quiet sigh and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "Mark it's not like that" she started. "It's just...when we're...together it's amazing, it really is but I want more than just great sex." Mark rolled his eyes "So did I Addison. So did I." he said rather annoyed with her. "Yeah I know but just because you stopped having sex with other women... It still didn't make you the kind of man I need to be with. I want someone who would be committed, I want a guy who would play catch with our kids, and barbecue. That's just not you Mark, no matter how much I want it to be, it's just not." she sighed.
"Addison, I could be that guy. I just needed you to give me a chance. I'm not a kid anymore. You think I like being alone, living in that hotel? I wanted to have a baby with you before remember? That never changed. If you had just given me a chance, I could have been that guy for you. I wanted to be that guy for you Addison. I wanted to be that guy for me. And with you...I could have been." he admitted quietly downing a good portion of his glass. "Mark that's very sweet but can you honestly see yourself being a family man? I've never seen you with a kid."
Mark looked into her eyes "Yes I can. I know I'm not great with kids now, but that's because I'm never around them. It would be different with OUR kids because they'd be ours and I'd love them. I'd read all of those stupid parenting books with you and I'd learn everything I don't know. I WOULD teach them how to catch a baseball and I WOULD barbecue on the weekends and we'd take trips to the beach and you and I would get a babysitter so we could still spend time alone. If we were together...I would do all of those things." "Don't you get it? All I've ever wanted was to have a chance with you. A real chance, without Derek or Alex or anyone else to get in the way." Mark sighed in quiet frustration. "I don't know what else to do to prove it to you."
Addison leaned over and kissed his lips hesitantly and his pride told him to pull away and make her suffer a little like he had for so long but damn it her lips felt like home and he just couldn't make himself pull away.
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