Listening with my whole heart...
My life has a way of running away from me. John Lennon said it best, life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. I love writing and illustrating for children. I have (what I think) some great projects. Good enough to win some pretty great scholarships (Chautauqua 2004 and the Picture Book workshop with Eric Rohmann and Lisa Jahn-Clough through the SCBWI 2004). But with the personal struggles, being the caretaker of so many souls (at home) the soul I often left behind was my own.
For instance, I wanted to write a rebuttal (a week and a half ago) in a local paper for someone calling for photo I.D. in voting. I did a lot of the mental work while driving the car sometimes eight hours a day. I researched some of the points I hoped to make (more of a danger is the loss of stare decisis or habeus corpus, the election being muddied by [international] corporations being able to give, without notice to elections as much as they deem, the problems with e-voting machines-- a plethora of more dangerous influences on our process of governance, imo) while making meals and taking care of my grandson. Just haven't sat down to write it.
I had been disturbed by Bethany Storro's story when it originally happened, NOW I'm just plain pissed. She's obviously disturbed. But there had to be a reason she chose a "black" woman as an assaillant. Then she went on to proseletyze. I don't know what is more offensive, the idea of being a-feared or manipulated to a position or the fact she felt her position so weak she had to "help" her G*D along. I was going to write about that this weekend, AFTER the op-ed (and reviews and...) in conjunction with what happened with Gabourey Sidibe.
It bothered me when Gabourey Sidibe's skin was lightened for the cover of a magazine. I understand their market group might be a lighter skin. But what is the message? Lighter skinned people won't " buy" her as she really is? Darker skinned people shouldn't be that dark? How do we ever relax with each other, if we aren't even allowed to BE what we ARE?
Far worse for me,though I haven't had the time because of what's been going on, to actually PAY attention to listen with a whole heart.
I love having a lot of people in my contact box of FB, many of them impress the beejeezus right out of me. But with so many it's only a cursory contact even if I know you. I don't tweet or FB blurb, er, status very often because there's simply not time and mostly my brain is numb from the inane running (away? out?) of my life. Though I love to occasionally slip into the feed stream to see just what's going on, it mostly washes on by.
One of the feed is Muhammad Khurshid of Pakistan Flood 2010. Yesterday I took a look. I am that hairy, toothless, big-nosed American, so when he spoke of an earthquake last night, at first I thought it was yet another scam for money. But I looked it up and sure enough there was a goodsized earthquake where he said it was. And there was no plea for money.
So this morning when a message came from him, I opened it. He was saying it was probably the last message he'd be sending out, for a while, if not ever. He wrote about how difficult it was to write in a language not his own. He speaks of his four children and wife, the poverty of the region and terror. This day I listened with my whole heart.
I know about struggles. What I can't imagine is my home being a part of a target of a larger struggle. I do worry about my children coming into contact with predators and people of ill repute, and have tried to prepare them to be safe. But how do you do that if the place you live in has been targetted as a place, hotbed of terror? How do you deal with things like earthquakes in an already economically depressed area, that's underreported world wide? I know nothing of their struggles.
The EASIEST (only?) way to make all this terror and war alright and executable is the US vs. THEM mentality. Probably why Bethany chose the iconic black attack, because it immediately speaks to that fear (get them before they get us). All Muslims do NOT want to convert the world, just as all Christians, Jews, Buddhists don't want to convert the world. I would watch out for the B'ahaians however (that was a bit of a joke, btw.). I bet the VAST majority of those religions don't want the "others" dead, though to listen to the rhetoric, that's precisely what we're being fed by the war machine.
I'm going back and rereading all the things that Muhammad send me. It's the least he deserves when I took on the mantle of friend. I may not agree with him (I might even change my mind). It's time I start putting my soul back where it belongs, and own my heart and words. If I really think I have something to say to children, I'd better start having something to say. And that starts with listening.
For instance, I wanted to write a rebuttal (a week and a half ago) in a local paper for someone calling for photo I.D. in voting. I did a lot of the mental work while driving the car sometimes eight hours a day. I researched some of the points I hoped to make (more of a danger is the loss of stare decisis or habeus corpus, the election being muddied by [international] corporations being able to give, without notice to elections as much as they deem, the problems with e-voting machines-- a plethora of more dangerous influences on our process of governance, imo) while making meals and taking care of my grandson. Just haven't sat down to write it.
I had been disturbed by Bethany Storro's story when it originally happened, NOW I'm just plain pissed. She's obviously disturbed. But there had to be a reason she chose a "black" woman as an assaillant. Then she went on to proseletyze. I don't know what is more offensive, the idea of being a-feared or manipulated to a position or the fact she felt her position so weak she had to "help" her G*D along. I was going to write about that this weekend, AFTER the op-ed (and reviews and...) in conjunction with what happened with Gabourey Sidibe.
It bothered me when Gabourey Sidibe's skin was lightened for the cover of a magazine. I understand their market group might be a lighter skin. But what is the message? Lighter skinned people won't " buy" her as she really is? Darker skinned people shouldn't be that dark? How do we ever relax with each other, if we aren't even allowed to BE what we ARE?
Far worse for me,though I haven't had the time because of what's been going on, to actually PAY attention to listen with a whole heart.
I love having a lot of people in my contact box of FB, many of them impress the beejeezus right out of me. But with so many it's only a cursory contact even if I know you. I don't tweet or FB blurb, er, status very often because there's simply not time and mostly my brain is numb from the inane running (away? out?) of my life. Though I love to occasionally slip into the feed stream to see just what's going on, it mostly washes on by.
One of the feed is Muhammad Khurshid of Pakistan Flood 2010. Yesterday I took a look. I am that hairy, toothless, big-nosed American, so when he spoke of an earthquake last night, at first I thought it was yet another scam for money. But I looked it up and sure enough there was a goodsized earthquake where he said it was. And there was no plea for money.
So this morning when a message came from him, I opened it. He was saying it was probably the last message he'd be sending out, for a while, if not ever. He wrote about how difficult it was to write in a language not his own. He speaks of his four children and wife, the poverty of the region and terror. This day I listened with my whole heart.
I know about struggles. What I can't imagine is my home being a part of a target of a larger struggle. I do worry about my children coming into contact with predators and people of ill repute, and have tried to prepare them to be safe. But how do you do that if the place you live in has been targetted as a place, hotbed of terror? How do you deal with things like earthquakes in an already economically depressed area, that's underreported world wide? I know nothing of their struggles.
The EASIEST (only?) way to make all this terror and war alright and executable is the US vs. THEM mentality. Probably why Bethany chose the iconic black attack, because it immediately speaks to that fear (get them before they get us). All Muslims do NOT want to convert the world, just as all Christians, Jews, Buddhists don't want to convert the world. I would watch out for the B'ahaians however (that was a bit of a joke, btw.). I bet the VAST majority of those religions don't want the "others" dead, though to listen to the rhetoric, that's precisely what we're being fed by the war machine.
I'm going back and rereading all the things that Muhammad send me. It's the least he deserves when I took on the mantle of friend. I may not agree with him (I might even change my mind). It's time I start putting my soul back where it belongs, and own my heart and words. If I really think I have something to say to children, I'd better start having something to say. And that starts with listening.