Cityrail survivor
The Story
A passenger, who survived when the express train doors he was leaning against suddenly opened as the train was travelling at high speed, revealed today that he got no response when he hit an emergency button.
What's wrong with the above sentence?
Apart from the overuse of dramatic words like "survived"....
"the train was travelling at high speed" Which train was he lucky enough to be on? No train on the CityRail network EVER travels at high speed.
"express train doors ... suddenly opened"
I find this hilarious. Even when train doors are operated normally they take ages to open, and the older trains need some manual encouragement to open.
I can see the whole drama playing out.
Look!
The doors are opening!
Oh dear!
Move away!
They are still opening!!
Move further away!!
They are still opening!!!
Look they've pushed all the way out and are still opening!!!!
!
I think they are still opening!!!!!
A full 30 seconds later.
The doors are still opening!!!!!
We know there's not many CityRail employees on a train. A monkey, oops, driver, and a Guard.
Guard (warning light on panel comes on): Damn, a door on a carriage has opened. Better try and get it closed.
Guard (Help point buzzer goes off): Gee, should I keep trying to close the door, or respond to the buzzer and tell them I'm working on it?
I know I'm cynical. I'm also sick of the crap that passes for journalism today.
A passenger, who survived when the express train doors he was leaning against suddenly opened as the train was travelling at high speed, revealed today that he got no response when he hit an emergency button.
What's wrong with the above sentence?
Apart from the overuse of dramatic words like "survived"....
"the train was travelling at high speed" Which train was he lucky enough to be on? No train on the CityRail network EVER travels at high speed.
"express train doors ... suddenly opened"
I find this hilarious. Even when train doors are operated normally they take ages to open, and the older trains need some manual encouragement to open.
I can see the whole drama playing out.
Look!
The doors are opening!
Oh dear!
Move away!
They are still opening!!
Move further away!!
They are still opening!!!
Look they've pushed all the way out and are still opening!!!!
!
I think they are still opening!!!!!
A full 30 seconds later.
The doors are still opening!!!!!
We know there's not many CityRail employees on a train. A monkey, oops, driver, and a Guard.
Guard (warning light on panel comes on): Damn, a door on a carriage has opened. Better try and get it closed.
Guard (Help point buzzer goes off): Gee, should I keep trying to close the door, or respond to the buzzer and tell them I'm working on it?
I know I'm cynical. I'm also sick of the crap that passes for journalism today.