God forbid someone uses my CVS card and claims my ExtraBucks!! :o
I had to laugh out loud at this email I got in response to my inquiry to have a new CVS card issued. (CVS is a national drug chain.) I signed up for it when I lived in Jersey City, updated my address in my account profile, and wrote them that my keycard was fraying and I needed a replacement card. Here's the response (bold emphasis mine, commentary in italics):
"Thank you for your recent inquiry. In researching your account the address you provided does not match what we have on file. Do you still have all three portions of your card including the one wallet and two
key chain size cards? Oh yes, I guard them with the same fervor as my green card. If so we would be able to issue duplicate cards from your account. If not, unfortunately, we cannot reissue duplicate cards for account that have been lost or stolen. Someone may find your lost card and get access to your extra bucks. You mean a Russian mafia gang could go on the black market and use my $1 off toothpaste coupon??? NOOOOOOO What I can do for you is transfer all of the spending off of your old card and add it to the new card that I will mail out to you.
Could you please send me the name, mailing address and phone number that would be linked to your old card? Also please send any new information that you would like on your new card. I'd like my picture on it and an embedded microchip of my DNA so no one can fraudulently use my fricking drugstore card in the future, thankyouverymuch. After I am able to locate the old card, I will be happy to transfer the spending from the old card to the new card."
Sheesh!
"Thank you for your recent inquiry. In researching your account the address you provided does not match what we have on file. Do you still have all three portions of your card including the one wallet and two
key chain size cards? Oh yes, I guard them with the same fervor as my green card. If so we would be able to issue duplicate cards from your account. If not, unfortunately, we cannot reissue duplicate cards for account that have been lost or stolen. Someone may find your lost card and get access to your extra bucks. You mean a Russian mafia gang could go on the black market and use my $1 off toothpaste coupon??? NOOOOOOO What I can do for you is transfer all of the spending off of your old card and add it to the new card that I will mail out to you.
Could you please send me the name, mailing address and phone number that would be linked to your old card? Also please send any new information that you would like on your new card. I'd like my picture on it and an embedded microchip of my DNA so no one can fraudulently use my fricking drugstore card in the future, thankyouverymuch. After I am able to locate the old card, I will be happy to transfer the spending from the old card to the new card."
Sheesh!