Feeling Human!
When I was younger, I used to think about how to simplify things and stay away from difficult obstacles. I even had a belief that if there are too many obstacles to get somewhere, most likely it is not meant to be. Of course my belief was based on my personal life observations and experiences at that time and I was still growing and developing as a person (which we do throughout our lives).
However, as I was growing, I started to change my mind and started to welcome challenges. At first it was scary, I was afraid to get myself into the challenging situations. The first challenge I got myself in, when my rapid growth begun, was entering graduate school. That experience made me totally different person.
I was learning for myself and I was learning about myself. I took this experience above and beyond of what was expected of me from my instructors. It was my free will to read the materials, look for more materials and stick with the restrictions of deadlines and rules. I was curious to learn more! At the same time my son was growing, I took my first class when he was 6 months old. I was challenged to balance my family life the best way possible and do my best in school.
I have learned from Frankl , Yalom, and Ellis that I have freedom of choice! This concept liberated me!!! I found that I used to have “dead end thinking” that created a lot of excuses for not pursuing things or resolving problems. Not anymore!
I have learned that in any situation, even the most devastating situation I have at least three choices. I could choose to do the right thing that will allow me to grow, I can choose to do the wrong thing, or I can do nothing and be where I am. I also found that in addition to these 3 choices I could create more ideas about my actions.
One event really stuck with me, I can’t forget that wonderful feeling of stepping over my laziness and my desire of simplifying my life.
One quarter I took two classes on-line, doesn’t matter what classes. One instructor was great, he shared with us his personal experiences of attending conferences, made comments about our work individually and was super human in the virtual classroom.
The other class, teacher copied and pasted same phrases to all students and it even felt like it was a computer generated program that did it instead of a real professor. For most of the assignments we all were getting the same comment that we had to rewrite our work because it was incomplete and there was nothing explaining what was incomplete.
That truly got to me and to other learners. I was so stressed, I even cried! I started to communicate with my classmates, we started calling each other and trying to figure out why we are so frustrated. Eventually, we addressed the issue to the instructor and instructor got defensive and continued to do the same thing, so I contacted my advisors and took this issue to the higher level at the university.
I hate conflicts!!! I was not happy about doing all this, but I felt like instructor did not teach us anything, even though we paid so much money for the course. We did not know what we did right or wrong in our assignments accept that we all had to keep rewriting them. Then she also sent us all private e-mail with grades telling us that we all are getting mid-quarter grade “C”. We shared this email with each other and were shocked! Some of us worked our butts off submitting everything on time and were getting “C” and some didn’t post assignments on time also were getting “C”!!!
Advisors suggested that I could withdraw from the course and take it next quarter with another instructor. I was almost ready to give up. In my undergraduate school, that was pretty common for me to drop classes if it was hard. The assignments were very difficult and took me a lot of time and effort to complete. After raising the issue with the instructor, I also felt like she would fail me because I started this entire problem for her.
I remember this moment! I thought that I will drop the class and did not do my homework anymore. However, an hour before this week’s homework was due, even though I was very tired, I made conscious decision that nevertheless, I will submit the assignment on time and finish this class. I pushed myself and felt glorious as I clicked on the submit button at 11:58pm. The assignment was due at midnight and late assignments did not get any points based on this instructors rule. I continued to do my work and I ended up finishing the class and actually getting an “A.”
After that moment I felt like I grew so much!!! I got even more confident in my inner strength! This moment helped me realize that I am not that little girl that used to avoid obstacles; I was strong individual who could battle anything!!!
Every time I have some challenge, I remember that moment when against the comfort of giving up I pushed myself and conquered that mountain, it gives me strength and motivation not to give up.
I have learned and experienced possibility of my human potential! It feels great to feel the power of the mind over comfort and wants of the ego. I felt human!!!
However, as I was growing, I started to change my mind and started to welcome challenges. At first it was scary, I was afraid to get myself into the challenging situations. The first challenge I got myself in, when my rapid growth begun, was entering graduate school. That experience made me totally different person.
I was learning for myself and I was learning about myself. I took this experience above and beyond of what was expected of me from my instructors. It was my free will to read the materials, look for more materials and stick with the restrictions of deadlines and rules. I was curious to learn more! At the same time my son was growing, I took my first class when he was 6 months old. I was challenged to balance my family life the best way possible and do my best in school.
I have learned from Frankl , Yalom, and Ellis that I have freedom of choice! This concept liberated me!!! I found that I used to have “dead end thinking” that created a lot of excuses for not pursuing things or resolving problems. Not anymore!
I have learned that in any situation, even the most devastating situation I have at least three choices. I could choose to do the right thing that will allow me to grow, I can choose to do the wrong thing, or I can do nothing and be where I am. I also found that in addition to these 3 choices I could create more ideas about my actions.
One event really stuck with me, I can’t forget that wonderful feeling of stepping over my laziness and my desire of simplifying my life.
One quarter I took two classes on-line, doesn’t matter what classes. One instructor was great, he shared with us his personal experiences of attending conferences, made comments about our work individually and was super human in the virtual classroom.
The other class, teacher copied and pasted same phrases to all students and it even felt like it was a computer generated program that did it instead of a real professor. For most of the assignments we all were getting the same comment that we had to rewrite our work because it was incomplete and there was nothing explaining what was incomplete.
That truly got to me and to other learners. I was so stressed, I even cried! I started to communicate with my classmates, we started calling each other and trying to figure out why we are so frustrated. Eventually, we addressed the issue to the instructor and instructor got defensive and continued to do the same thing, so I contacted my advisors and took this issue to the higher level at the university.
I hate conflicts!!! I was not happy about doing all this, but I felt like instructor did not teach us anything, even though we paid so much money for the course. We did not know what we did right or wrong in our assignments accept that we all had to keep rewriting them. Then she also sent us all private e-mail with grades telling us that we all are getting mid-quarter grade “C”. We shared this email with each other and were shocked! Some of us worked our butts off submitting everything on time and were getting “C” and some didn’t post assignments on time also were getting “C”!!!
Advisors suggested that I could withdraw from the course and take it next quarter with another instructor. I was almost ready to give up. In my undergraduate school, that was pretty common for me to drop classes if it was hard. The assignments were very difficult and took me a lot of time and effort to complete. After raising the issue with the instructor, I also felt like she would fail me because I started this entire problem for her.
I remember this moment! I thought that I will drop the class and did not do my homework anymore. However, an hour before this week’s homework was due, even though I was very tired, I made conscious decision that nevertheless, I will submit the assignment on time and finish this class. I pushed myself and felt glorious as I clicked on the submit button at 11:58pm. The assignment was due at midnight and late assignments did not get any points based on this instructors rule. I continued to do my work and I ended up finishing the class and actually getting an “A.”
After that moment I felt like I grew so much!!! I got even more confident in my inner strength! This moment helped me realize that I am not that little girl that used to avoid obstacles; I was strong individual who could battle anything!!!
Every time I have some challenge, I remember that moment when against the comfort of giving up I pushed myself and conquered that mountain, it gives me strength and motivation not to give up.
I have learned and experienced possibility of my human potential! It feels great to feel the power of the mind over comfort and wants of the ego. I felt human!!!