He He He

[aguadora]

Elements of Surprise
By Matt Powers

PhosYOUREPREGNANTphorus

LithTHETESTCAMEBACKPOSITIVEium

MangLOOKOUTanese

SelenYOUREBEINGAUDITEDium

HydroLETSMOVEINTOGETHERgen

FluorDADIMGAYine

NitroHAPPYBIRTHDAYgen

TungYOUARENOTMENTIONEDINTHEWILLsten

PotassYESIHAVEAREASONWHYTHESETWOSHOULDNOTBEMARRIEDium

Arsenic

via McSweeney's