Supernatural RPS fic: Lakeside Memories (Jensen/Jared) 1/1
Title: Lakeside Memories
Author: agt_spooky
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Established relationship, angst and soft, fuzzy, love
Word Count: 7,138
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: It’s RPS, people. It never happened, but I wish it would. :-)
Author’s Note: Many thanks to the lovely and talented charityflint for her beta work that made this story better. *g*
Summary: Summer hiatus. Halfway across the country from one another for months and Jensen feels that he’s starting to lose the man he loves, that recent events in Jared’s life have him reconsidering his relationship with Jensen. With less than a week before filming begins on season four, can a trip to a house in the woods bring the two of them back together?
banner by agt_spooky
Lakeside Memories
By AgtSpooky
September 16, 2008
“Wisconsin?”
I pull the phone away from my ear, certain I’d heard him wrong. “Wisconsin?” I repeat, walking toward the window in my Pittsburgh hotel room. “Jare, we need to be in Vancouver in a week to start filming and you suddenly want us to take a trip up to Wisconsin of all places? How did you even come up with this idea?”
“Mitch invited us,” Jared replies, and I can hear wood creaking as he shifts, meaning he’s sitting on the porch swing at his parent’s house. “I don’t know if I ever told you, but after his family moved to San Antonio from Wisconsin, they kept their home up there. They’d spend the summers there, and every Columbus Day weekend they’d go up there to see the fall colors and stuff, and they’d take me with them when I was a kid.”
Ah, Mitchell Hansen. I’d met him twice, when he’d come up to Vancouver to visit Jared. Nice guy; I liked him. He and Jared had been friends since they were eight years old, when Mitch’s father got transferred from Tomahawk to San Antonio and they ended up in the same class at school. And even through all the years, with the different directions their lives had taken, they still remained in touch. I was a little envious, truth be told. There was no one from my childhood I’d had that kind of friendship with.
“Anyway, when Mitch met up with me in Dallas, after that Creation thing,” Jared was saying, “he asked me if we wanted to go up to the house sometime. Well, turns out his parents are coming back down here early, and the house will be empty after tomorrow. He wants to meet us up there.”
I couldn’t help but be disappointed at this sudden change in plans. All I’d wanted after this long, rough summer was to spend a week alone with Jared, tucked away at his house in Vancouver before season four began and our lives fell back into insanity.
“Listen, Jare…I think…I think I’m gonna pass,” I tell him. “I just wanna get back up to Canada and decompress for awhile. Besides, I’d feel like a third wheel. You should just spend some time with your friend,” I finish, hoping I’d managed to hide my disappointment.
I could hear Jared sigh, and he was quiet for a moment.
“Please, Jen?”
There was something about his voice, subdued and serious, that had me changing my mind. I’d heard it too often this summer and if it would make Jared happy that I’d meet him in Wisconsin, then I’d do it. Anything to see the smile that had been gone for months.
I once again cursed both our budding movie careers for keeping us halfway across the country from each other this summer, especially when Jared needed me the most - breaking off his engagement to Sandy, then having to face thousands of fans right afterwards and tell them about it.
I should’ve been there in person instead of just a supportive voice on the other end of the phone. But I didn’t realize how bad it was for Jared until my sister emailed me and told me about the vitriol being spewed at Jared on various entertainment websites that announced the news of his breakup with Sandy. Ninety-nine percent of it was pure crap, that he’d dumped Sandy because she was getting in the way of his career and other such bullshit. But one thing was partly true - Jared had been cheating on Sandy. Just not with any of the rumored women that were named.
He was cheating on her with me.
Neither of us was proud of it and we certainly hadn’t planned it. It just kind of…happened. Our…affair had gone on for six months before we both finally admitted to ourselves, and each other, that what we felt for one another was serious, no longer just a casual fuck here and there. We’d fallen in love with each other.
Jared decided to call it off with Sandy, never telling her it was because of someone else, just that he felt he was growing apart from her and it wasn’t fair to her for him to stay.
I wanted him to wait until I could be in L.A. with him when he told her, but it was eating him up and he needed to do it as soon as possible.
So, I’d had no choice but to go off to Pennsylvania, unknowingly feeding Jared to the wolves.
Jared had grown almost uncommunicative since everything happened, barely managing one or two word answers when I called, when he even took my calls.
He had loved Sandy for a long time and letting go was painful, plus the hate being directed at him was pulling Jared into a dark, depressive place and away from me.
Because of that, deep down, there was a little voice telling me that Jared may be having second thoughts; that being with me wasn’t worth all of this and he’d go back to Sandy and get his life turned back around. I tried my damndest to silence that little voice, but it had gotten harder to do so with every call that rolled into Jared’s voicemail.
So if he wanted me in Wisconsin, I’d be there, to show Jared that our new relationship was worth it.
~~~~~
It was nearly Planes, Trains and Automobiles for me to get to Central Wisconsin Airport from Pittsburgh, but I did it, arriving at nearly 11 pm the next night, to find Jared waiting for me.
I could see in person now how the last few months had taken their toll, in the weariness that his tall body exuded and the tiredness behind normally lively hazel eyes.
“Hey, man,” he greets me, his attempt at a smile falling flat.
After all the time apart, and everything that’s happened, I ache for more than the manly, one-armed hug we give one another, all that’s acceptable out in public, so I tighten my hold on my duffle bag instead of Jared and follow him out of the terminal.
On our way out to the car, I think of the voice mail Jared had left me when I was on my flight from Pittsburgh to Chicago, about another change of plans. Mitch’s company needed him to take the place of another guy at a trade show at the last minute, so it’ll just be the two of us now. Which I’m thankful for, this time alone with Jared.
It’s just over an hour to get to Tomahawk from the airport and I want to spend the time talking to Jared, reconnecting with him, but his expression is closed off so I reconsider and instead look into the darkness outside the window. And try to ignore the uneasy feeling settling in my stomach.
About halfway there my own exhaustion and the hypnotic thwap-thwap-thwap of the tires on the highway has my eyelids drooping and I’m drifting off before I know it.
~~~~~
I wake to a hand on my knee, squeezing gently, and for a moment I thought I’d fallen asleep in the van on our way to set, until I realized where I was. I rub a hand across my face and turn to look at Jared.
“Sorry, man. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”
Jared waves off the apology, opening his door. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve had a couple more weeks downtime than you’ve had. You need to catch up on your sleep when you can.”
I wanted to tell him that it didn’t look like he’d been sleeping any better than I’d been in those weeks, but I keep silent.
As soon as we’re out of the car I’m immediately struck by the quiet; just a random cricket to break the stillness, a startling contrast to the busy movie set I’d been on for weeks on end. The trees are tall and thick here, the moonlight barely filtering through the leaves that rustle slightly in the summer night breeze. I close my eyes for just a moment and inhale deeply of the clean air, letting it out slowly.
I can sense light behind my eyelids and I open them to see that Jared has already started toward the house, the motion detector light illuminating his way. I can see that it’s a two-storey rustic home, the living areas on the top floor and the bottom appears to be a basement.
I get my duffle from the backseat and follow Jared up the stairs, where he’s pulling up the corner of the Welcome mat and picking up the key hidden there, where Mitch’s parents left it for us. He unlocks the front door, turns on the entry light, then leads the way down the hallway to the left, passing one bedroom before stopping at the next and walking in. He turns on the bedside light as we both dump our bags on the floor.
I sink down gratefully onto the mattress, running a hand through my hair, but before I can say anything to Jared he’s walking across the hall to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
I sigh heavily and rest my elbows on my knees. We haven’t spoken more than a dozen words to each other since the airport and I hate the uncomfortable silence that fills the spaces.
~~~~~
I take my turn in the bathroom after Jared comes back, wearing just his dark green boxers, smelling faintly of mouthwash and toothpaste. I clean up as well, strip down to my black boxer briefs and walk back across to the bedroom, where I find Jared curled up on his side under the sheet, eyes closed. Not asleep, but wanting me to think he is.
After turning out the light, I climb in next to him and reach out a hand to touch his broad back. I can feel the warmth of his body as my fingers hover millimeters above his skin, but at the last second I pull back, curling my fingers into my own palm.
I lay only inches from him, but tonight I feel we’re miles apart.
~~~~~
A myriad of bird calls wake me the next morning, and as I blink open sleep-heavy eyes I realize I’m alone in bed and that Jared’s side of the mattress is cold. I blow out a weary breath, and when I inhale I smell coffee brewing.
I scrub a hand over my face as I dig in my duffle for a random t-shirt which I pull on as I follow the scent of coffee like Pavlov’s dog.
In the daylight I get a good look at the house as I pad toward the kitchen in my bare feet. There are the two bedrooms, one bathroom, a small cozy living room with a fireplace, two couches and a bay window, and a nice size kitchen with a table facing another bay window.
The back door is open, letting in the cool morning breeze through the screen, and I spy Jared standing outside on the deck, his back to me. I push open the screen door, intending to say ‘good morning’ but what comes out instead is, “Wow…”
A spectacular view of Jenny Lake is spread out in front of me through the trees, the morning sun glinting off the water.
Jared turns, a half smile on his face, looking a bit more relaxed today, coffee mug in hand.
Again the quietness hits me, the beauty around me. “I can see why you liked to come up here.”
Jared nods. “Yeah. It’s someplace I can think, clear my head. Lots of good memories here, too.”
He reaches out to hand me the mug of coffee and our fingers brush. The brief contact after months of nothing sends a tingle of warmth through me. “I’ll get breakfast going. Mitch’s parents left the fridge stocked for us.”
He goes to walk away, stops, and leans in close. “Missed you,” he murmurs and I feel the gulf between us shrink just a bit with those two words.
~~~~~
Breakfast is pancakes and sausages and more coffee. I’m not surprised when Jared takes out the peanut butter. I’d seen him put it on his pancakes before, but when he puts the jar down in front of me, I arch an eyebrow at him.
“It’s tradition,” he says by way of explanation. “You gotta eat ‘em like this up here.”
“I didn’t realize that eating peanut butter on pancakes was a state law in Wisconsin,” I joke.
“Smartass.” He kicks at my leg under the table. “I was nine years old the first time Mitch’s family took me up here and we had pancakes the first morning. His whole family puts peanut butter and syrup on them. I thought they were nuts, but Mitch got me to try one and I’ve never eaten them any other way since.” He pushes the jar closer to me. “So now you’ve gotta try it, too.”
I sigh, already feeling my body going into sugar shock just thinking about the sweetness overload, but the smile Jared gives me as I eat the first piece is well worth having my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth.
~~~~~
Out in the woods, along a rarely used path, we walk in strained silence. I’d thought things were improving after breakfast but I can practically see the heavy invisible weight settled on Jared’s shoulders again.
“You can talk to me, you know,” I tell him quietly and Jared just nods, never looking up from the ground and I stop and watch him walk away from me.
~~~~~
Back at the house I discover that Jared has brought along my two pairs of cargo shorts, my swim trunks and my flip-flops that I keep at his parent’s house. I’m grateful because it’s warm up here and all I had were jeans down in Pittsburg.
I change into just the swim trunks, grab a towel from the bathroom and head down to the dock for the first time.
I stand there for just a moment, looking around the lake that must be at least four miles across to the other side. I shield my eyes from the sun, seeing just a handful of other docks sticking out into the water. The nearest neighbor looks to be a at least a mile away.
I spread my towel out and lay on my back, hoping to get a little color on my skin after spending the last few months working underground in abandoned mines in Pittsburg. I really don’t feel like being airbrushed by Shannon when I get back on set.
I take a couple of deep breaths and try to let my mind go blank as I listen to the waves rolling gently against the paddleboat and canoe moored at the dock. It works for about fifteen seconds and then I’m back to thinking about Jared again.
He’s got my emotions all over the map. One minute he’s smiling and telling me he missed me and the next he’s closed off and silent. I don’t know where I stand with him, where we stand with each other, and there’s an ache inside me, one that tells me that I truly am losing him.
~~~~~
About a half hour later Jared returns from the woods and finds me out on the dock. I can hear him taking off his shirt and then he’s settling next to me. I feel him looking at me, but it’s my turn to play possum as I lay still with my eyes closed. I’ve said all I can, asked him repeatedly for weeks to talk to me. The ball’s in his court now.
I don’t realize I’m holding my breath until his hand slips into mine, thumb rubbing soft on my skin.
He’s still not talking, but it’s a start.
~~~~~
Beers in hand, we’re out on the deck as the sun starts to set, painting the sky in brilliant hues of red and pink and orange, nothing but crickets and fireflies to break the stillness of the beautiful evening.
I hear Jared take a breath and my heart skips a beat as I see him put his beer bottle on the railing and turn to look at me. I know that this is it; that he’s finally come to some sort of a decision and I feel suddenly sick to my stomach with uncertainly.
“I’m sorry,” Jared says, and I start to close my eyes, to not let him see how much he’s hurting me, letting me go, and I fight for a breath against the seizing up of my chest.
But a hand on the side of my face has me opening my eyes again, unable to look away now as he continues.
“I’ve been an ass and you haven’t deserved it,” he says softly, and I struggle to process that this isn’t going the way I thought it was as my heart starts to beat again.
“All you’ve wanted is for me to open up and talk to you and instead I’ve been pushing you away. After coming up here, away from everything, I had a chance to clear my head and I know that now and I’m sorry. I’ve been too wrapped up in myself to realize what I was doing to you.” His thumb brushes my cheek. “But seeing you after all these months, it was written all over your face, and if things were reversed I’d be thinking the same thing you are.”
I swallow hard, trying to erase the dryness in my mouth. “And what…what am I thinking?”
“That I’m gonna walk away. That life with Sandy would just be easier.” Both hands cup my face now, Jared’s hazel eyes pinning me to the spot with their intensity.
“But I don’t want easier, Jen. I want YOU. I want to put all this crap behind us. I’m done with what other people think or say.”
“Took you long enough,” I try to say lightly, but the words, and the relief, catch in my throat as I tug Jared closer to me.
His arms wind around my back, his face buried in my shoulder and I cup the back of his head.
“Love you,” I whisper against his ear, and his hands clutch harder at my shirt.
And that night as we sleep there is no space between us.
~~~~~
The change in Jared is dramatic the next day now that our crisis has passed and we can enjoy the next few days. Relaxed, the lines of tension are gone from his face as we stand on the shore and skip rocks, sand squishing between our toes.
While I get mine to jump three or four times, Jared’s are nothing but line drives straight into the water.
“God, stop, stop!” I laugh after his fifth failed attempt. “You’re gonna kill some poor, innocent fish!”
Jared’s laugh joins mine as he kicks water up at me and it’s the most beautiful sound I’ve heard in two months.
~~~~~
Back in the woods, we walk along a dirt road behind the house, tall grass and splashes of wildflowers line the edges, the sun casting long shadows, much needed relief in the summer heat.
We’re quiet again, but the silence is comfortable this time, our hands brushing, shoulders bumping as we walk.
We come to a bend in the road and Jared suddenly stops, looking around and then he starts chuckling.
I glance around myself but see nothing. “What are you laughing at, you big dork?”
Jared smiles. “I just realized where I was. Something very important happened to me here when I was fourteen years old.” He pauses for dramatic effect and the corner of my mouth quirks up. “Mitch and I found a porno mag tossed along the side of the road right here.”
I shake my head in amusement. “Dare I ask what happened next?”
He steps closer to me. “Boys will be boys, you know that, Jen,” he leers, hooking an arm around me, his large hand splayed against the small of my back, pulling my body flush against him.
He bends his head, lips against my ear. “We took the magazine, went up into the woods…first time we’d ever seen anything like that.” His hand drifts downwards, over the swell of my ass, and I feel my cock twitch and start to fill.
His voice is pitched low now, making me shiver. “All that naked skin….I got hard, Mitch got hard, and the next thing I know we’re jerking off…”
I slide my hand up under the back of his shirt and dip my hand past the waistband of his baggy shorts. “Bet you shot off like a rocket,” I grin, rubbing against his leg, now between my own.
“Never came so hard in my life,” he pants, pulling me harder against him and I can feel his own growing erection.
“I don’t have a magazine, but how ‘bout you show me your technique?” I ask him with a smirk.
Jared pulls me into the woods with an answering smirk of his own, and twenty minutes later, as we walk back out of the woods, we’re brushing grass and leaves out of places plant life should never be.
~~~~~
Jared stares at his beer bottle thoughtfully as the smell of grilling hamburgers wafts through the air.
“Fourteen was an interesting year up here for me,” he tells me, tipping his bottle toward me. “Had my first drink that year.”
I chuckle. “Boy, your corruption started early. First porn and now drinking?”
“Oh, there was more to it than that,” he replies mysteriously, knowing it would pique my curiosity. And of course he’s right.
“Hmmm, this oughta be good. Go on, then,” I tell him, taking a long swallow of my ice cold beer.
Jared leans his tall frame against the railing of the deck. “Mitch’s parents had friends up the road that they played cards with. They left us on our own one night when they went over there and soon we’re up underneath the deck with all the beer from the fridge. We dared each other, who could drink more. Three cans in each and we’re well on our way to getting hammered, and the next thing I know we’re kinda…fooling around,” he finishes with a grin, and I see a faint blush stain his cheeks.
I think back to his earlier story, cock my head at him. “Just what were you staring at when you were jerking off in the woods? Mitch or the magazine?”
Jared just winks and turns to flip the burgers.
~~~~~
Jared leads us out onto the dock after the moon has risen and the air has started to cool. We lay down on our backs, pressed against one another, Jared’s hand a warm, welcome weight on my thigh, fingers caressing my skin.
The stars are magnificent out here, no light pollution to hide their beauty. It’s so peaceful, with the sound of the water lapping gently at the shore. I could easily fall asleep out here.
Jared’s voice is quiet in the dark. “I was eleven when Mitch’s dad started teaching us about the constellations and stuff. First time I ever saw a shooting star I was out here.”
He falls silent for a moment and then I hear him whisper.
“Star light, star bright…”
I smile at the childhood rhyme and turn my head toward him. “Did you make your wish?”
Jared rolls on his side and puts his hand over my heart, capturing me with a look that stretches on. “It already came true.”
~~~~~
The campfire’s blazing when I come out of the house with the marshmallows, Jared standing proudly before it like the first caveman to discover fire.
We sit on the wooden bench beside the fire pit and Jared hands me a stick, on which I skewer a marshmallow and hand it back, then I do the same with my own stick.
“I was ten the first time I made a s’more, roasted a marshmallow up here,” Jared says as he plunges his into the flames.
“This place really means a lot to you, doesn’t it?” I ask as I keep my own marshmallow on the edges of the fire.
Jared nods, pulling his blackened sweet from the fire. “A lot of firsts for me happened up here,” he says, popping the gooey marshmallow in his mouth.
I pull my own treat from the flames, unable to stop myself as I ask, “You got any other stories?” leaving ‘about you and Mitch’ unspoken.
But Jared looks at me like I’d said it out loud, amused, eyes mischievous as he reaches out and takes my marshmallow from the stick. “Maybe one more,” he says cryptically, biting half of the marshmallow, offering the other half to me.
I open my mouth, taking in not only the marshmallow, but the tips of Jared’s fingers as well, curling my tongue around them, sucking, tasting the salt of his skin.
I see Jared’s eyes change, go dark, and I feel a tendril of heat curl low in my belly that has nothing to do with the campfire.
Jared lets his fingers slip from my mouth, rubs his thumb across my lower lip as his other hand slides up my bare leg, up under the edge of my shorts, raising goosebumps.
Jared’s mouth is on my neck now, wet kisses that make me shiver, even surrounded by so much warmth - Jared’s body, the fire - and I close my eyes and let myself sink into the sensations he’s stirring inside me, wanting him to take me higher and higher until I can feel nothing but him.
~~~~~
The fire is embers now, but flames still burn hot inside me, Jared’s endless touching, teasing, has my body tingling, head swimming, my arousal heavy between my legs.
I want, need to get inside the house and lay Jared out on the bed and map every inch of his long body with my hands and mouth.
But Jared has other ideas as we approach the stairs up to the deck, hands on my waist, backing me up against one of the support beams.
“Last story,” Jared pants heavy against my ear. “Right here, against this beam when I was fifteen I had my first kiss.”
I know it was with Mitch without Jared having to say it and an irrational stab of jealousy surges through me.
“Then I wanna be your last,” I breathe possessively.
“Want that, Jen, God I want that…” he whispers hoarsely, then I’m claiming his mouth with my own.
Eight weeks. It’s been eight weeks since we’ve kissed and we’re like starving men. I don’t know who groaned louder when our tongues touched, tasting one another, swirling over and around, again and again.
Jared’s fingers are digging bruises into the skin above my hips while one of my hands is tangled in his long hair at the nape of his neck, the other on his ass. There wasn’t a millimeter of space between us, but still I try to pull him closer, so that neither of us know where one ends and the other begins.
The kiss goes on, harder and deeper, our mouths slanting against one another over and over. It escalates until my every sense is filled with Jared - his taste, the smell of his clean, sun kissed skin, the sound of his pleading moans into the kiss, the feel of his arousal pressed so tightly against my own…
It’s so intense that I can’t breathe, my heart pounding in my chest and I pull back, dragging in lungfuls of air, resting my forehead against Jared’s.
“God…” I groan, and I barely have time to see his face, reflecting the same longing and desire that’s surging through me, before his hands are skimming up my side, pulling my shirt up and off.
He drops to his knees, removing my shorts and boxer briefs as he goes, tossing them up under the deck. I lean back against the post and spread my legs wide, feeling wanton and sensual, naked like this outside, in the moonlight with him.
My breath catches in my throat as he moves between my legs, sliding his large hands up my thighs, my heavy erection leaking precome now, my every nerve ending on fire, desperate for the feel of his mouth on me.
“Jare, please…” I beg, voice breaking, my hand clutching at his shoulder, my hips pushing forward.
His eyes are dark, cheeks flushed, voice like sandpaper. “Love it when you say that, love it that you want me…”
Then there are no more words as he leans forward and takes me into his hot, wet mouth.
I cry out at the sensation, so intense after months without this intimacy, and I can’t help but watch my cock slide in and out of his mouth, feeling myself release a fresh burst of precome at the erotic sight.
Jared isn’t wasting any time, sucking hard on my erection as one hand strokes me, his tongue swirling over the crown, dipping into the slit. The feeling is fucking amazing and I give myself over to it, to Jared. I don’t try and hold on, make it last, so on edge, desperately wanting, needing this release, this connection with him.
My breath is hitching in my chest, my hips starting to pump as I feel my climax burning hot and deep inside me, lightning licking up my spine. And then I feel Jared’s large palm cup my balls, tugging, rolling them in their sac - and I’m gone.
I come explosively, my vision whiting out, Jared’s name on my lips. My head slams back against the post as I feel myself pulse over and over inside his mouth. He’s moaning around my cock as his throat works convulsively to swallow every drop of my release, hands like vises on my hips.
My orgasm has barely finished, the aftershocks just beginning when Jared surges up my body, burying his face in my shoulder, pushing at his shorts until he frees his erection. He humps desperately against my bare stomach, saying, “Jen, Jen, Jen…” over and over, voice thready.
I sink my fingers into his hair, my other hand on his ass, pushing him harder against me, encouraging him.
“Yeah, that’s it, c’mon,” I pant harshly. “Do it, Jare…”
His hips snap harder and I hear him whine, the sound he makes when he’s about to come, and I want to push him over the edge as hard as he pushed me.
I slip my hand into the back of his shorts, my finger seeking out his most intimate place, my breath hot against his ear.
“Wanna feel you come. God, Jare, wanna feel it so fucking bad…”
The tip of my finger barely breeches his entrance and he’s keening high and sharp, his orgasm surging through him, his cock pulsing between our bodies.
I gasp at the feel of his release, warm and thick, painting both our stomachs as he continues to rock against me for a long minute.
Finally he slumps into me and my arms come around him as he quiets, his hands caressing my sides. He turns his head and kisses my neck and I look up at the stars and hold him close.
~~~~~
The clean, fresh scent of rain pulls me from my sleep, cool air coming in from the open window in the bedroom, the gentle summer rain shower falling softly on the leaves outside.
I sigh contentedly, cocooned in Jared’s warmth, his long, naked body spooned around me, still sleeping. The rain reminds me of what Jared said yesterday, about putting everything behind us. Just like the rain washes everything clean, it’s a new beginning for us as well. I smile inwardly at the thought, running my fingers lightly up the arm wrapped around me.
Jared stirs at the touch, and he snuffles into my hair, placing a kiss behind my ear. His fingers flex on my bare stomach and he mumbles something into my neck that I can’t make out.
I turn in his embrace and tangle our legs together under the sheet. He smiles sleepily at me and I brush wayward strands of hair off his forehead. He runs a hand from the top of my shoulders down to the small of my back, then up again, and I relax even further against him.
I will never get enough of the feel of his body. Hard and strong, with miles of smooth, soft skin that I have touched every inch of. My hand goes to automatically rest on his chest, over his heart, just like in countless publicity pictures of us. It was like from day one I was unconsciously saying, “Mine”. And now he is.
I lean forward, closing the distance between us and kiss him softly, languidly. His mouth opens under mine and he responds in kind, sighing quietly. The urgency from last night is gone and we take our time with the kiss, no hurry, no rush, just the gradual building of arousal.
Jared’s hand settles on the nape of my neck, fingers brushing the fine hair there and I splay my own hand on his wide back, letting the warmth of his body soak into my palm.
I’m sinking further and further into our kiss, tongues moving sensuously against one another and I feel Jared start to harden, my own cock beginning to lengthen and fill as well.
It feels so good, building up to it like this, letting the pleasure roll through me in gentle waves, hearing and feeling as it does the same to Jared. I pull back slightly, kiss the corner of his mouth, the mole on his chin, then across his jaw, the stubble tickling my lips as I go. I feel Jared hum as he arches his neck, an invitation to my mouth that I gladly take, kissing down the smooth column of skin to his shoulder, nipping there.
He lets me roll him that little bit more until he’s on his back and I settle between his legs. One of his hands runs through the short spikes of my hair, gently guiding me down his chest.
I know the destination he has in mind and I go willingly, my tongue lapping eagerly at his nipple. He’s incredibly sensitive here, as evidenced by the arching of his back and the groan that falls from his lips as I take the small nub in my mouth and suck.
I continue to lave the one as I roll and pinch the other between my fingers, and within moments Jared is writhing underneath me from the stimulation. His mouth is open, eyes closed, head thrown back against the pillow.
“Feels good…God…” he breathes, hips trying to move, his fully hard erection pushing into my stomach.
My own throbs between my legs and the urge to be inside him right now surges through me like a tidal wave. I bite the nipple in my mouth and he jerks, moaning deeply, fingers digging into my shoulders as he opens his eyes, blown wide now as his arousal reaches the same peak as mine.
“Jen…” he grinds out, pulling at my shoulder. “Need you in me…wanna feel you…”
I’m up his body in a heartbeat, my mouth hard against his as I simulate with my tongue what I’m about to do to him with my cock as I tilt my hips, dragging my erection against his. He gasps into the kiss and pushes back, hands cupping my ass and we grind against one another until I have to move away or risk coming right then and there.
We’re both breathing fast now, Jared’s brow damp, our stomachs shiny with our combined precome and I need a taste of him so badly I can hardly stand it. I shift quickly, bowing my head and lick across the head of his engorged cock.
Jared’s taste explodes across my tongue and he grips my hair, an explosive, “Fuck!” falling from his mouth.
I raise my head, see the desire, the need, reflecting out of his hazel eyes and I know it must match my own expression.
“God, now, Jen…can’t wait…please…”
“Yeah…yeah,” I nod shakily, my body strung tight, and minutes later I’m watching the head of my slick cock breech his body.
The compulsion is there to drive into him with one strong stroke, but I want to make this last, this first time in two months, draw it out as long as possible. So I force myself to go slow, to push inside him inch by inch, watch as his body draws me in, opening, stretching so tightly around me.
We’re both shaking by the time I’m fully inside him and I bend to kiss him, breathing, “Jesus, Jare…” into his mouth.
No matter how many times we make love it feels like coming home every single time, being so intimately connected to him, that this is where we’ve both belonged all along, from the day we met. It took us years to get here, but we’re here now, and that’s all that matters.
He lays a hand on the side of my face and I lean into his palm. His thumb brushes my cheek as he whispers, “Missed this…missed you so much, Jen…”
He raises his legs then, wrapping them around my waist and I begin to move, hands braced on either side of his head, sliding back until just the head of my cock remains inside him, drawing twin moans from us both.
I set up a maddingly slow pace, torturing us both with my long, deep thrusts, watching as slowly but surely Jared starts to fall apart beneath me. I’m addicted to what he looks like in the throws of passion, of ecstasy - so open and vulnerable, skin sheened with sweat, nipples erect, ab muscles rippling as he meets me thrust for thrust and his eyes…always locked on mine, dark pools full of longing and want. It’s a rush like no other to know that I’m the one doing this to him, making him lose control.
Over the sound of skin-on-skin and our panting breaths I hear the rain, and in my head I see Jared and I outside, naked in the lush, green grass. I’m on my back and Jared is riding me as the rain falls from the sky, his head thrown back as he climaxes, water droplets clinging to his hair, his eyelashes, running in rivulets down his chest as his release paints mine.
My cock throbs at the fantasy and I snap my hips forward, angling them just so and I’m rewarded with a sharp gasp from Jared. I go to reach for his cock, so hard and swollen, curving up from his belly, but he pushes my hand away.
“No,” he says hoarsely. “Wanna come…wanna come just from you inside me. Just like this,” he finishes, tightening his legs around me.
“God yeah, Jare…yeah,” I pant, driving my hips forward again, my cock sliding deep inside him.
I find that spot inside Jared over and over until he’s shaking, hands clutched so hard on my biceps I’ll have bruises there to match the ones on my hips from last night. His eyes are closed now, squeezed tight, hair matted to his forehead, head moving on the pillow.
“Almost…almost,” he rambles, and I’m right there on the edge with him, my orgasm throbbing in my balls, swirling low in my gut. But I force it back, determined to see Jared climax first.
“Feel me in you?” I ask him, low and rough. “How hard I am? How tight you are around me? Wish you could see what it looks like, my cock sliding in and out of you. Gonna make you come, Jare. Gonna make you come so hard…”
His eyes snap open, blown wide with the need for release. “God…Jen…”
“Just let go, baby,” I urge him. “Just let go…”
And there it is, that sound in the back of his throat and I wish to God I could freeze this moment in time, take a snapshot of what he looks like the moment he starts to come. Because it’s beautiful. He’s beautiful.
He shatters beneath me with a harsh sob, chest heaving, body clamping down around mine. I watch in erotic fascination as his cock jerks and pulses all on it’s own, thick white ropes of his release spattering his stomach, chest and neck.
The sight, sound and feel of his intense orgasm is my undoing. My hips stutter, managing two more strokes before I give in to my own pleasure. His hand is on my face when I come, whispering a litany of “I love you, I love you,” to me as my cock pulses deep inside him, filling him with the thick, wet heat of my release.
I’m lightheaded with the force of my climax and I slump forward, tremoring slightly with the aftershocks running through my body. Jared kisses me on my forehead and when I move to slide out of him he tightens his thighs around my hips.
“No, don’t,” he whispers and I smile softly, glad he doesn’t want to lose that intimate contact with me just yet.
He grabs a corner of the sheet and quickly cleans himself off and I settle down with my head on his chest. He cards his fingers through my hair and I sigh contentedly.
“Love you,” I murmur into his skin and I let my eyes drift closed to the sound of his heartbeat and the rain.
~~~~~
The sun is high overhead once again as we stand in our swim trunks with our toes curled over the edge of the dock, the weathered wood warm under our feet, the clear waters of Jenny Lake spread out before us.
I look over at Jared, an idea forming in my head. “Ever been skinny dipping with Mitch?” I ask.
Jared laughs. “We were up here in October. So no, we didn’t go swimming.”
Finally, a “first” just for us. I smirk, then in two quick moves, I pull down not only my swim trunks but Jared’s as well.
“Then let’s start making our own memories,” I tell him, jumping off the dock into the water with a grin.
Jared cannonballs in right after me with a whoop, soaking me as he hits the water, and our laughter, and our cares, float up into the summer sky.
THE END
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Author: agt_spooky
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Established relationship, angst and soft, fuzzy, love
Word Count: 7,138
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: It’s RPS, people. It never happened, but I wish it would. :-)
Author’s Note: Many thanks to the lovely and talented charityflint for her beta work that made this story better. *g*
Summary: Summer hiatus. Halfway across the country from one another for months and Jensen feels that he’s starting to lose the man he loves, that recent events in Jared’s life have him reconsidering his relationship with Jensen. With less than a week before filming begins on season four, can a trip to a house in the woods bring the two of them back together?
banner by agt_spooky
Lakeside Memories
By AgtSpooky
September 16, 2008
“Wisconsin?”
I pull the phone away from my ear, certain I’d heard him wrong. “Wisconsin?” I repeat, walking toward the window in my Pittsburgh hotel room. “Jare, we need to be in Vancouver in a week to start filming and you suddenly want us to take a trip up to Wisconsin of all places? How did you even come up with this idea?”
“Mitch invited us,” Jared replies, and I can hear wood creaking as he shifts, meaning he’s sitting on the porch swing at his parent’s house. “I don’t know if I ever told you, but after his family moved to San Antonio from Wisconsin, they kept their home up there. They’d spend the summers there, and every Columbus Day weekend they’d go up there to see the fall colors and stuff, and they’d take me with them when I was a kid.”
Ah, Mitchell Hansen. I’d met him twice, when he’d come up to Vancouver to visit Jared. Nice guy; I liked him. He and Jared had been friends since they were eight years old, when Mitch’s father got transferred from Tomahawk to San Antonio and they ended up in the same class at school. And even through all the years, with the different directions their lives had taken, they still remained in touch. I was a little envious, truth be told. There was no one from my childhood I’d had that kind of friendship with.
“Anyway, when Mitch met up with me in Dallas, after that Creation thing,” Jared was saying, “he asked me if we wanted to go up to the house sometime. Well, turns out his parents are coming back down here early, and the house will be empty after tomorrow. He wants to meet us up there.”
I couldn’t help but be disappointed at this sudden change in plans. All I’d wanted after this long, rough summer was to spend a week alone with Jared, tucked away at his house in Vancouver before season four began and our lives fell back into insanity.
“Listen, Jare…I think…I think I’m gonna pass,” I tell him. “I just wanna get back up to Canada and decompress for awhile. Besides, I’d feel like a third wheel. You should just spend some time with your friend,” I finish, hoping I’d managed to hide my disappointment.
I could hear Jared sigh, and he was quiet for a moment.
“Please, Jen?”
There was something about his voice, subdued and serious, that had me changing my mind. I’d heard it too often this summer and if it would make Jared happy that I’d meet him in Wisconsin, then I’d do it. Anything to see the smile that had been gone for months.
I once again cursed both our budding movie careers for keeping us halfway across the country from each other this summer, especially when Jared needed me the most - breaking off his engagement to Sandy, then having to face thousands of fans right afterwards and tell them about it.
I should’ve been there in person instead of just a supportive voice on the other end of the phone. But I didn’t realize how bad it was for Jared until my sister emailed me and told me about the vitriol being spewed at Jared on various entertainment websites that announced the news of his breakup with Sandy. Ninety-nine percent of it was pure crap, that he’d dumped Sandy because she was getting in the way of his career and other such bullshit. But one thing was partly true - Jared had been cheating on Sandy. Just not with any of the rumored women that were named.
He was cheating on her with me.
Neither of us was proud of it and we certainly hadn’t planned it. It just kind of…happened. Our…affair had gone on for six months before we both finally admitted to ourselves, and each other, that what we felt for one another was serious, no longer just a casual fuck here and there. We’d fallen in love with each other.
Jared decided to call it off with Sandy, never telling her it was because of someone else, just that he felt he was growing apart from her and it wasn’t fair to her for him to stay.
I wanted him to wait until I could be in L.A. with him when he told her, but it was eating him up and he needed to do it as soon as possible.
So, I’d had no choice but to go off to Pennsylvania, unknowingly feeding Jared to the wolves.
Jared had grown almost uncommunicative since everything happened, barely managing one or two word answers when I called, when he even took my calls.
He had loved Sandy for a long time and letting go was painful, plus the hate being directed at him was pulling Jared into a dark, depressive place and away from me.
Because of that, deep down, there was a little voice telling me that Jared may be having second thoughts; that being with me wasn’t worth all of this and he’d go back to Sandy and get his life turned back around. I tried my damndest to silence that little voice, but it had gotten harder to do so with every call that rolled into Jared’s voicemail.
So if he wanted me in Wisconsin, I’d be there, to show Jared that our new relationship was worth it.
~~~~~
It was nearly Planes, Trains and Automobiles for me to get to Central Wisconsin Airport from Pittsburgh, but I did it, arriving at nearly 11 pm the next night, to find Jared waiting for me.
I could see in person now how the last few months had taken their toll, in the weariness that his tall body exuded and the tiredness behind normally lively hazel eyes.
“Hey, man,” he greets me, his attempt at a smile falling flat.
After all the time apart, and everything that’s happened, I ache for more than the manly, one-armed hug we give one another, all that’s acceptable out in public, so I tighten my hold on my duffle bag instead of Jared and follow him out of the terminal.
On our way out to the car, I think of the voice mail Jared had left me when I was on my flight from Pittsburgh to Chicago, about another change of plans. Mitch’s company needed him to take the place of another guy at a trade show at the last minute, so it’ll just be the two of us now. Which I’m thankful for, this time alone with Jared.
It’s just over an hour to get to Tomahawk from the airport and I want to spend the time talking to Jared, reconnecting with him, but his expression is closed off so I reconsider and instead look into the darkness outside the window. And try to ignore the uneasy feeling settling in my stomach.
About halfway there my own exhaustion and the hypnotic thwap-thwap-thwap of the tires on the highway has my eyelids drooping and I’m drifting off before I know it.
~~~~~
I wake to a hand on my knee, squeezing gently, and for a moment I thought I’d fallen asleep in the van on our way to set, until I realized where I was. I rub a hand across my face and turn to look at Jared.
“Sorry, man. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”
Jared waves off the apology, opening his door. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve had a couple more weeks downtime than you’ve had. You need to catch up on your sleep when you can.”
I wanted to tell him that it didn’t look like he’d been sleeping any better than I’d been in those weeks, but I keep silent.
As soon as we’re out of the car I’m immediately struck by the quiet; just a random cricket to break the stillness, a startling contrast to the busy movie set I’d been on for weeks on end. The trees are tall and thick here, the moonlight barely filtering through the leaves that rustle slightly in the summer night breeze. I close my eyes for just a moment and inhale deeply of the clean air, letting it out slowly.
I can sense light behind my eyelids and I open them to see that Jared has already started toward the house, the motion detector light illuminating his way. I can see that it’s a two-storey rustic home, the living areas on the top floor and the bottom appears to be a basement.
I get my duffle from the backseat and follow Jared up the stairs, where he’s pulling up the corner of the Welcome mat and picking up the key hidden there, where Mitch’s parents left it for us. He unlocks the front door, turns on the entry light, then leads the way down the hallway to the left, passing one bedroom before stopping at the next and walking in. He turns on the bedside light as we both dump our bags on the floor.
I sink down gratefully onto the mattress, running a hand through my hair, but before I can say anything to Jared he’s walking across the hall to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
I sigh heavily and rest my elbows on my knees. We haven’t spoken more than a dozen words to each other since the airport and I hate the uncomfortable silence that fills the spaces.
~~~~~
I take my turn in the bathroom after Jared comes back, wearing just his dark green boxers, smelling faintly of mouthwash and toothpaste. I clean up as well, strip down to my black boxer briefs and walk back across to the bedroom, where I find Jared curled up on his side under the sheet, eyes closed. Not asleep, but wanting me to think he is.
After turning out the light, I climb in next to him and reach out a hand to touch his broad back. I can feel the warmth of his body as my fingers hover millimeters above his skin, but at the last second I pull back, curling my fingers into my own palm.
I lay only inches from him, but tonight I feel we’re miles apart.
~~~~~
A myriad of bird calls wake me the next morning, and as I blink open sleep-heavy eyes I realize I’m alone in bed and that Jared’s side of the mattress is cold. I blow out a weary breath, and when I inhale I smell coffee brewing.
I scrub a hand over my face as I dig in my duffle for a random t-shirt which I pull on as I follow the scent of coffee like Pavlov’s dog.
In the daylight I get a good look at the house as I pad toward the kitchen in my bare feet. There are the two bedrooms, one bathroom, a small cozy living room with a fireplace, two couches and a bay window, and a nice size kitchen with a table facing another bay window.
The back door is open, letting in the cool morning breeze through the screen, and I spy Jared standing outside on the deck, his back to me. I push open the screen door, intending to say ‘good morning’ but what comes out instead is, “Wow…”
A spectacular view of Jenny Lake is spread out in front of me through the trees, the morning sun glinting off the water.
Jared turns, a half smile on his face, looking a bit more relaxed today, coffee mug in hand.
Again the quietness hits me, the beauty around me. “I can see why you liked to come up here.”
Jared nods. “Yeah. It’s someplace I can think, clear my head. Lots of good memories here, too.”
He reaches out to hand me the mug of coffee and our fingers brush. The brief contact after months of nothing sends a tingle of warmth through me. “I’ll get breakfast going. Mitch’s parents left the fridge stocked for us.”
He goes to walk away, stops, and leans in close. “Missed you,” he murmurs and I feel the gulf between us shrink just a bit with those two words.
~~~~~
Breakfast is pancakes and sausages and more coffee. I’m not surprised when Jared takes out the peanut butter. I’d seen him put it on his pancakes before, but when he puts the jar down in front of me, I arch an eyebrow at him.
“It’s tradition,” he says by way of explanation. “You gotta eat ‘em like this up here.”
“I didn’t realize that eating peanut butter on pancakes was a state law in Wisconsin,” I joke.
“Smartass.” He kicks at my leg under the table. “I was nine years old the first time Mitch’s family took me up here and we had pancakes the first morning. His whole family puts peanut butter and syrup on them. I thought they were nuts, but Mitch got me to try one and I’ve never eaten them any other way since.” He pushes the jar closer to me. “So now you’ve gotta try it, too.”
I sigh, already feeling my body going into sugar shock just thinking about the sweetness overload, but the smile Jared gives me as I eat the first piece is well worth having my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth.
~~~~~
Out in the woods, along a rarely used path, we walk in strained silence. I’d thought things were improving after breakfast but I can practically see the heavy invisible weight settled on Jared’s shoulders again.
“You can talk to me, you know,” I tell him quietly and Jared just nods, never looking up from the ground and I stop and watch him walk away from me.
~~~~~
Back at the house I discover that Jared has brought along my two pairs of cargo shorts, my swim trunks and my flip-flops that I keep at his parent’s house. I’m grateful because it’s warm up here and all I had were jeans down in Pittsburg.
I change into just the swim trunks, grab a towel from the bathroom and head down to the dock for the first time.
I stand there for just a moment, looking around the lake that must be at least four miles across to the other side. I shield my eyes from the sun, seeing just a handful of other docks sticking out into the water. The nearest neighbor looks to be a at least a mile away.
I spread my towel out and lay on my back, hoping to get a little color on my skin after spending the last few months working underground in abandoned mines in Pittsburg. I really don’t feel like being airbrushed by Shannon when I get back on set.
I take a couple of deep breaths and try to let my mind go blank as I listen to the waves rolling gently against the paddleboat and canoe moored at the dock. It works for about fifteen seconds and then I’m back to thinking about Jared again.
He’s got my emotions all over the map. One minute he’s smiling and telling me he missed me and the next he’s closed off and silent. I don’t know where I stand with him, where we stand with each other, and there’s an ache inside me, one that tells me that I truly am losing him.
~~~~~
About a half hour later Jared returns from the woods and finds me out on the dock. I can hear him taking off his shirt and then he’s settling next to me. I feel him looking at me, but it’s my turn to play possum as I lay still with my eyes closed. I’ve said all I can, asked him repeatedly for weeks to talk to me. The ball’s in his court now.
I don’t realize I’m holding my breath until his hand slips into mine, thumb rubbing soft on my skin.
He’s still not talking, but it’s a start.
~~~~~
Beers in hand, we’re out on the deck as the sun starts to set, painting the sky in brilliant hues of red and pink and orange, nothing but crickets and fireflies to break the stillness of the beautiful evening.
I hear Jared take a breath and my heart skips a beat as I see him put his beer bottle on the railing and turn to look at me. I know that this is it; that he’s finally come to some sort of a decision and I feel suddenly sick to my stomach with uncertainly.
“I’m sorry,” Jared says, and I start to close my eyes, to not let him see how much he’s hurting me, letting me go, and I fight for a breath against the seizing up of my chest.
But a hand on the side of my face has me opening my eyes again, unable to look away now as he continues.
“I’ve been an ass and you haven’t deserved it,” he says softly, and I struggle to process that this isn’t going the way I thought it was as my heart starts to beat again.
“All you’ve wanted is for me to open up and talk to you and instead I’ve been pushing you away. After coming up here, away from everything, I had a chance to clear my head and I know that now and I’m sorry. I’ve been too wrapped up in myself to realize what I was doing to you.” His thumb brushes my cheek. “But seeing you after all these months, it was written all over your face, and if things were reversed I’d be thinking the same thing you are.”
I swallow hard, trying to erase the dryness in my mouth. “And what…what am I thinking?”
“That I’m gonna walk away. That life with Sandy would just be easier.” Both hands cup my face now, Jared’s hazel eyes pinning me to the spot with their intensity.
“But I don’t want easier, Jen. I want YOU. I want to put all this crap behind us. I’m done with what other people think or say.”
“Took you long enough,” I try to say lightly, but the words, and the relief, catch in my throat as I tug Jared closer to me.
His arms wind around my back, his face buried in my shoulder and I cup the back of his head.
“Love you,” I whisper against his ear, and his hands clutch harder at my shirt.
And that night as we sleep there is no space between us.
~~~~~
The change in Jared is dramatic the next day now that our crisis has passed and we can enjoy the next few days. Relaxed, the lines of tension are gone from his face as we stand on the shore and skip rocks, sand squishing between our toes.
While I get mine to jump three or four times, Jared’s are nothing but line drives straight into the water.
“God, stop, stop!” I laugh after his fifth failed attempt. “You’re gonna kill some poor, innocent fish!”
Jared’s laugh joins mine as he kicks water up at me and it’s the most beautiful sound I’ve heard in two months.
~~~~~
Back in the woods, we walk along a dirt road behind the house, tall grass and splashes of wildflowers line the edges, the sun casting long shadows, much needed relief in the summer heat.
We’re quiet again, but the silence is comfortable this time, our hands brushing, shoulders bumping as we walk.
We come to a bend in the road and Jared suddenly stops, looking around and then he starts chuckling.
I glance around myself but see nothing. “What are you laughing at, you big dork?”
Jared smiles. “I just realized where I was. Something very important happened to me here when I was fourteen years old.” He pauses for dramatic effect and the corner of my mouth quirks up. “Mitch and I found a porno mag tossed along the side of the road right here.”
I shake my head in amusement. “Dare I ask what happened next?”
He steps closer to me. “Boys will be boys, you know that, Jen,” he leers, hooking an arm around me, his large hand splayed against the small of my back, pulling my body flush against him.
He bends his head, lips against my ear. “We took the magazine, went up into the woods…first time we’d ever seen anything like that.” His hand drifts downwards, over the swell of my ass, and I feel my cock twitch and start to fill.
His voice is pitched low now, making me shiver. “All that naked skin….I got hard, Mitch got hard, and the next thing I know we’re jerking off…”
I slide my hand up under the back of his shirt and dip my hand past the waistband of his baggy shorts. “Bet you shot off like a rocket,” I grin, rubbing against his leg, now between my own.
“Never came so hard in my life,” he pants, pulling me harder against him and I can feel his own growing erection.
“I don’t have a magazine, but how ‘bout you show me your technique?” I ask him with a smirk.
Jared pulls me into the woods with an answering smirk of his own, and twenty minutes later, as we walk back out of the woods, we’re brushing grass and leaves out of places plant life should never be.
~~~~~
Jared stares at his beer bottle thoughtfully as the smell of grilling hamburgers wafts through the air.
“Fourteen was an interesting year up here for me,” he tells me, tipping his bottle toward me. “Had my first drink that year.”
I chuckle. “Boy, your corruption started early. First porn and now drinking?”
“Oh, there was more to it than that,” he replies mysteriously, knowing it would pique my curiosity. And of course he’s right.
“Hmmm, this oughta be good. Go on, then,” I tell him, taking a long swallow of my ice cold beer.
Jared leans his tall frame against the railing of the deck. “Mitch’s parents had friends up the road that they played cards with. They left us on our own one night when they went over there and soon we’re up underneath the deck with all the beer from the fridge. We dared each other, who could drink more. Three cans in each and we’re well on our way to getting hammered, and the next thing I know we’re kinda…fooling around,” he finishes with a grin, and I see a faint blush stain his cheeks.
I think back to his earlier story, cock my head at him. “Just what were you staring at when you were jerking off in the woods? Mitch or the magazine?”
Jared just winks and turns to flip the burgers.
~~~~~
Jared leads us out onto the dock after the moon has risen and the air has started to cool. We lay down on our backs, pressed against one another, Jared’s hand a warm, welcome weight on my thigh, fingers caressing my skin.
The stars are magnificent out here, no light pollution to hide their beauty. It’s so peaceful, with the sound of the water lapping gently at the shore. I could easily fall asleep out here.
Jared’s voice is quiet in the dark. “I was eleven when Mitch’s dad started teaching us about the constellations and stuff. First time I ever saw a shooting star I was out here.”
He falls silent for a moment and then I hear him whisper.
“Star light, star bright…”
I smile at the childhood rhyme and turn my head toward him. “Did you make your wish?”
Jared rolls on his side and puts his hand over my heart, capturing me with a look that stretches on. “It already came true.”
~~~~~
The campfire’s blazing when I come out of the house with the marshmallows, Jared standing proudly before it like the first caveman to discover fire.
We sit on the wooden bench beside the fire pit and Jared hands me a stick, on which I skewer a marshmallow and hand it back, then I do the same with my own stick.
“I was ten the first time I made a s’more, roasted a marshmallow up here,” Jared says as he plunges his into the flames.
“This place really means a lot to you, doesn’t it?” I ask as I keep my own marshmallow on the edges of the fire.
Jared nods, pulling his blackened sweet from the fire. “A lot of firsts for me happened up here,” he says, popping the gooey marshmallow in his mouth.
I pull my own treat from the flames, unable to stop myself as I ask, “You got any other stories?” leaving ‘about you and Mitch’ unspoken.
But Jared looks at me like I’d said it out loud, amused, eyes mischievous as he reaches out and takes my marshmallow from the stick. “Maybe one more,” he says cryptically, biting half of the marshmallow, offering the other half to me.
I open my mouth, taking in not only the marshmallow, but the tips of Jared’s fingers as well, curling my tongue around them, sucking, tasting the salt of his skin.
I see Jared’s eyes change, go dark, and I feel a tendril of heat curl low in my belly that has nothing to do with the campfire.
Jared lets his fingers slip from my mouth, rubs his thumb across my lower lip as his other hand slides up my bare leg, up under the edge of my shorts, raising goosebumps.
Jared’s mouth is on my neck now, wet kisses that make me shiver, even surrounded by so much warmth - Jared’s body, the fire - and I close my eyes and let myself sink into the sensations he’s stirring inside me, wanting him to take me higher and higher until I can feel nothing but him.
~~~~~
The fire is embers now, but flames still burn hot inside me, Jared’s endless touching, teasing, has my body tingling, head swimming, my arousal heavy between my legs.
I want, need to get inside the house and lay Jared out on the bed and map every inch of his long body with my hands and mouth.
But Jared has other ideas as we approach the stairs up to the deck, hands on my waist, backing me up against one of the support beams.
“Last story,” Jared pants heavy against my ear. “Right here, against this beam when I was fifteen I had my first kiss.”
I know it was with Mitch without Jared having to say it and an irrational stab of jealousy surges through me.
“Then I wanna be your last,” I breathe possessively.
“Want that, Jen, God I want that…” he whispers hoarsely, then I’m claiming his mouth with my own.
Eight weeks. It’s been eight weeks since we’ve kissed and we’re like starving men. I don’t know who groaned louder when our tongues touched, tasting one another, swirling over and around, again and again.
Jared’s fingers are digging bruises into the skin above my hips while one of my hands is tangled in his long hair at the nape of his neck, the other on his ass. There wasn’t a millimeter of space between us, but still I try to pull him closer, so that neither of us know where one ends and the other begins.
The kiss goes on, harder and deeper, our mouths slanting against one another over and over. It escalates until my every sense is filled with Jared - his taste, the smell of his clean, sun kissed skin, the sound of his pleading moans into the kiss, the feel of his arousal pressed so tightly against my own…
It’s so intense that I can’t breathe, my heart pounding in my chest and I pull back, dragging in lungfuls of air, resting my forehead against Jared’s.
“God…” I groan, and I barely have time to see his face, reflecting the same longing and desire that’s surging through me, before his hands are skimming up my side, pulling my shirt up and off.
He drops to his knees, removing my shorts and boxer briefs as he goes, tossing them up under the deck. I lean back against the post and spread my legs wide, feeling wanton and sensual, naked like this outside, in the moonlight with him.
My breath catches in my throat as he moves between my legs, sliding his large hands up my thighs, my heavy erection leaking precome now, my every nerve ending on fire, desperate for the feel of his mouth on me.
“Jare, please…” I beg, voice breaking, my hand clutching at his shoulder, my hips pushing forward.
His eyes are dark, cheeks flushed, voice like sandpaper. “Love it when you say that, love it that you want me…”
Then there are no more words as he leans forward and takes me into his hot, wet mouth.
I cry out at the sensation, so intense after months without this intimacy, and I can’t help but watch my cock slide in and out of his mouth, feeling myself release a fresh burst of precome at the erotic sight.
Jared isn’t wasting any time, sucking hard on my erection as one hand strokes me, his tongue swirling over the crown, dipping into the slit. The feeling is fucking amazing and I give myself over to it, to Jared. I don’t try and hold on, make it last, so on edge, desperately wanting, needing this release, this connection with him.
My breath is hitching in my chest, my hips starting to pump as I feel my climax burning hot and deep inside me, lightning licking up my spine. And then I feel Jared’s large palm cup my balls, tugging, rolling them in their sac - and I’m gone.
I come explosively, my vision whiting out, Jared’s name on my lips. My head slams back against the post as I feel myself pulse over and over inside his mouth. He’s moaning around my cock as his throat works convulsively to swallow every drop of my release, hands like vises on my hips.
My orgasm has barely finished, the aftershocks just beginning when Jared surges up my body, burying his face in my shoulder, pushing at his shorts until he frees his erection. He humps desperately against my bare stomach, saying, “Jen, Jen, Jen…” over and over, voice thready.
I sink my fingers into his hair, my other hand on his ass, pushing him harder against me, encouraging him.
“Yeah, that’s it, c’mon,” I pant harshly. “Do it, Jare…”
His hips snap harder and I hear him whine, the sound he makes when he’s about to come, and I want to push him over the edge as hard as he pushed me.
I slip my hand into the back of his shorts, my finger seeking out his most intimate place, my breath hot against his ear.
“Wanna feel you come. God, Jare, wanna feel it so fucking bad…”
The tip of my finger barely breeches his entrance and he’s keening high and sharp, his orgasm surging through him, his cock pulsing between our bodies.
I gasp at the feel of his release, warm and thick, painting both our stomachs as he continues to rock against me for a long minute.
Finally he slumps into me and my arms come around him as he quiets, his hands caressing my sides. He turns his head and kisses my neck and I look up at the stars and hold him close.
~~~~~
The clean, fresh scent of rain pulls me from my sleep, cool air coming in from the open window in the bedroom, the gentle summer rain shower falling softly on the leaves outside.
I sigh contentedly, cocooned in Jared’s warmth, his long, naked body spooned around me, still sleeping. The rain reminds me of what Jared said yesterday, about putting everything behind us. Just like the rain washes everything clean, it’s a new beginning for us as well. I smile inwardly at the thought, running my fingers lightly up the arm wrapped around me.
Jared stirs at the touch, and he snuffles into my hair, placing a kiss behind my ear. His fingers flex on my bare stomach and he mumbles something into my neck that I can’t make out.
I turn in his embrace and tangle our legs together under the sheet. He smiles sleepily at me and I brush wayward strands of hair off his forehead. He runs a hand from the top of my shoulders down to the small of my back, then up again, and I relax even further against him.
I will never get enough of the feel of his body. Hard and strong, with miles of smooth, soft skin that I have touched every inch of. My hand goes to automatically rest on his chest, over his heart, just like in countless publicity pictures of us. It was like from day one I was unconsciously saying, “Mine”. And now he is.
I lean forward, closing the distance between us and kiss him softly, languidly. His mouth opens under mine and he responds in kind, sighing quietly. The urgency from last night is gone and we take our time with the kiss, no hurry, no rush, just the gradual building of arousal.
Jared’s hand settles on the nape of my neck, fingers brushing the fine hair there and I splay my own hand on his wide back, letting the warmth of his body soak into my palm.
I’m sinking further and further into our kiss, tongues moving sensuously against one another and I feel Jared start to harden, my own cock beginning to lengthen and fill as well.
It feels so good, building up to it like this, letting the pleasure roll through me in gentle waves, hearing and feeling as it does the same to Jared. I pull back slightly, kiss the corner of his mouth, the mole on his chin, then across his jaw, the stubble tickling my lips as I go. I feel Jared hum as he arches his neck, an invitation to my mouth that I gladly take, kissing down the smooth column of skin to his shoulder, nipping there.
He lets me roll him that little bit more until he’s on his back and I settle between his legs. One of his hands runs through the short spikes of my hair, gently guiding me down his chest.
I know the destination he has in mind and I go willingly, my tongue lapping eagerly at his nipple. He’s incredibly sensitive here, as evidenced by the arching of his back and the groan that falls from his lips as I take the small nub in my mouth and suck.
I continue to lave the one as I roll and pinch the other between my fingers, and within moments Jared is writhing underneath me from the stimulation. His mouth is open, eyes closed, head thrown back against the pillow.
“Feels good…God…” he breathes, hips trying to move, his fully hard erection pushing into my stomach.
My own throbs between my legs and the urge to be inside him right now surges through me like a tidal wave. I bite the nipple in my mouth and he jerks, moaning deeply, fingers digging into my shoulders as he opens his eyes, blown wide now as his arousal reaches the same peak as mine.
“Jen…” he grinds out, pulling at my shoulder. “Need you in me…wanna feel you…”
I’m up his body in a heartbeat, my mouth hard against his as I simulate with my tongue what I’m about to do to him with my cock as I tilt my hips, dragging my erection against his. He gasps into the kiss and pushes back, hands cupping my ass and we grind against one another until I have to move away or risk coming right then and there.
We’re both breathing fast now, Jared’s brow damp, our stomachs shiny with our combined precome and I need a taste of him so badly I can hardly stand it. I shift quickly, bowing my head and lick across the head of his engorged cock.
Jared’s taste explodes across my tongue and he grips my hair, an explosive, “Fuck!” falling from his mouth.
I raise my head, see the desire, the need, reflecting out of his hazel eyes and I know it must match my own expression.
“God, now, Jen…can’t wait…please…”
“Yeah…yeah,” I nod shakily, my body strung tight, and minutes later I’m watching the head of my slick cock breech his body.
The compulsion is there to drive into him with one strong stroke, but I want to make this last, this first time in two months, draw it out as long as possible. So I force myself to go slow, to push inside him inch by inch, watch as his body draws me in, opening, stretching so tightly around me.
We’re both shaking by the time I’m fully inside him and I bend to kiss him, breathing, “Jesus, Jare…” into his mouth.
No matter how many times we make love it feels like coming home every single time, being so intimately connected to him, that this is where we’ve both belonged all along, from the day we met. It took us years to get here, but we’re here now, and that’s all that matters.
He lays a hand on the side of my face and I lean into his palm. His thumb brushes my cheek as he whispers, “Missed this…missed you so much, Jen…”
He raises his legs then, wrapping them around my waist and I begin to move, hands braced on either side of his head, sliding back until just the head of my cock remains inside him, drawing twin moans from us both.
I set up a maddingly slow pace, torturing us both with my long, deep thrusts, watching as slowly but surely Jared starts to fall apart beneath me. I’m addicted to what he looks like in the throws of passion, of ecstasy - so open and vulnerable, skin sheened with sweat, nipples erect, ab muscles rippling as he meets me thrust for thrust and his eyes…always locked on mine, dark pools full of longing and want. It’s a rush like no other to know that I’m the one doing this to him, making him lose control.
Over the sound of skin-on-skin and our panting breaths I hear the rain, and in my head I see Jared and I outside, naked in the lush, green grass. I’m on my back and Jared is riding me as the rain falls from the sky, his head thrown back as he climaxes, water droplets clinging to his hair, his eyelashes, running in rivulets down his chest as his release paints mine.
My cock throbs at the fantasy and I snap my hips forward, angling them just so and I’m rewarded with a sharp gasp from Jared. I go to reach for his cock, so hard and swollen, curving up from his belly, but he pushes my hand away.
“No,” he says hoarsely. “Wanna come…wanna come just from you inside me. Just like this,” he finishes, tightening his legs around me.
“God yeah, Jare…yeah,” I pant, driving my hips forward again, my cock sliding deep inside him.
I find that spot inside Jared over and over until he’s shaking, hands clutched so hard on my biceps I’ll have bruises there to match the ones on my hips from last night. His eyes are closed now, squeezed tight, hair matted to his forehead, head moving on the pillow.
“Almost…almost,” he rambles, and I’m right there on the edge with him, my orgasm throbbing in my balls, swirling low in my gut. But I force it back, determined to see Jared climax first.
“Feel me in you?” I ask him, low and rough. “How hard I am? How tight you are around me? Wish you could see what it looks like, my cock sliding in and out of you. Gonna make you come, Jare. Gonna make you come so hard…”
His eyes snap open, blown wide with the need for release. “God…Jen…”
“Just let go, baby,” I urge him. “Just let go…”
And there it is, that sound in the back of his throat and I wish to God I could freeze this moment in time, take a snapshot of what he looks like the moment he starts to come. Because it’s beautiful. He’s beautiful.
He shatters beneath me with a harsh sob, chest heaving, body clamping down around mine. I watch in erotic fascination as his cock jerks and pulses all on it’s own, thick white ropes of his release spattering his stomach, chest and neck.
The sight, sound and feel of his intense orgasm is my undoing. My hips stutter, managing two more strokes before I give in to my own pleasure. His hand is on my face when I come, whispering a litany of “I love you, I love you,” to me as my cock pulses deep inside him, filling him with the thick, wet heat of my release.
I’m lightheaded with the force of my climax and I slump forward, tremoring slightly with the aftershocks running through my body. Jared kisses me on my forehead and when I move to slide out of him he tightens his thighs around my hips.
“No, don’t,” he whispers and I smile softly, glad he doesn’t want to lose that intimate contact with me just yet.
He grabs a corner of the sheet and quickly cleans himself off and I settle down with my head on his chest. He cards his fingers through my hair and I sigh contentedly.
“Love you,” I murmur into his skin and I let my eyes drift closed to the sound of his heartbeat and the rain.
~~~~~
The sun is high overhead once again as we stand in our swim trunks with our toes curled over the edge of the dock, the weathered wood warm under our feet, the clear waters of Jenny Lake spread out before us.
I look over at Jared, an idea forming in my head. “Ever been skinny dipping with Mitch?” I ask.
Jared laughs. “We were up here in October. So no, we didn’t go swimming.”
Finally, a “first” just for us. I smirk, then in two quick moves, I pull down not only my swim trunks but Jared’s as well.
“Then let’s start making our own memories,” I tell him, jumping off the dock into the water with a grin.
Jared cannonballs in right after me with a whoop, soaking me as he hits the water, and our laughter, and our cares, float up into the summer sky.
THE END
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