About blowing people off.
*sigh* Stuff's weird.
I'm kinda getting the hang of my new flow of income but I don't think I'm handling it as well as I should. I need to be saving it. Next few paychecks I'm going to be putting into savings so that I don't spend myself silly. I just need to get a new phone, but I can't do that for another month anyway, so it's all good.
My dad got kinda mad at me today I think. He was upset because I haven't told my neighbor that I can't housesit for her. I need to do that today. I think he's more upset that I haven't been home much lately. I come home kinda late and when I get home I don't really want to talk or anything, and I haven't had dinner at home in a looong time, and on my days off, I really want to be with Heidi and OG and Sean and Jeff because I haven't been able to see them as often. I think my parents feel like I'm kinda blowing them off.
Jill called me yesterday, because it's her birthday and I was gonna go to her party, she's out camping.. it sounded like fun and I wish I could have gone, but I have work. I feel really bad, cuz I had to blow her off.
OG called me yesterday before work and asked what I was up to, because he wanted to invite me to go to Japan town with Sean and Cass and all them. I really wanted to be able to go, but I had work. I know I need to be able to work to save up, and honestly my job isn't bad at all, but it is depressing to keep having to tell people I can't hang out because of work. Especially now that summer's ending, because everyone's leaving. Especially OG, even though he's not leaving. I always feel extra bad about having to tell him I can't hang out. I'm a bit jealous of all the guys moving in together, because when they do they'll see each other .. a lot more than I'll see them probably. I kinda wish I could move out too. But I know that won't happen, so I'm not getting my hopes up.
I feel irresponsible and incompetent, just for not.. being there when people want me to be. I feel really bad about it.
I'm kinda getting the hang of my new flow of income but I don't think I'm handling it as well as I should. I need to be saving it. Next few paychecks I'm going to be putting into savings so that I don't spend myself silly. I just need to get a new phone, but I can't do that for another month anyway, so it's all good.
My dad got kinda mad at me today I think. He was upset because I haven't told my neighbor that I can't housesit for her. I need to do that today. I think he's more upset that I haven't been home much lately. I come home kinda late and when I get home I don't really want to talk or anything, and I haven't had dinner at home in a looong time, and on my days off, I really want to be with Heidi and OG and Sean and Jeff because I haven't been able to see them as often. I think my parents feel like I'm kinda blowing them off.
Jill called me yesterday, because it's her birthday and I was gonna go to her party, she's out camping.. it sounded like fun and I wish I could have gone, but I have work. I feel really bad, cuz I had to blow her off.
OG called me yesterday before work and asked what I was up to, because he wanted to invite me to go to Japan town with Sean and Cass and all them. I really wanted to be able to go, but I had work. I know I need to be able to work to save up, and honestly my job isn't bad at all, but it is depressing to keep having to tell people I can't hang out because of work. Especially now that summer's ending, because everyone's leaving. Especially OG, even though he's not leaving. I always feel extra bad about having to tell him I can't hang out. I'm a bit jealous of all the guys moving in together, because when they do they'll see each other .. a lot more than I'll see them probably. I kinda wish I could move out too. But I know that won't happen, so I'm not getting my hopes up.
I feel irresponsible and incompetent, just for not.. being there when people want me to be. I feel really bad about it.