(no subject)
I haven't been here in so long I don't know where to start really. Typing out an entry is kind of a pain in the ass now since I've burned so many keys on my keyboard that I have to press down really hard on certain keys and it's just annoying to use my laptop now.
I have been losing weight, I make my appetite almost nonexistent so that is good. I'm afraid to get on the scale most of the time though. I haven't weighed myself in a while, but I dug out an old pair of jeans that I can wear, and being able to wear them means that I am doing well. I lost my weight loss journal somewhere in my room and that is really bothering me right now. I have to clean my room ASAP, I am sick of living like this. There's cups and ashes and random shit strewn all over the place. I should spend this weekend cleaning and organizing myself and my room since I won't be going to Albany to visit my boy. (Cuse dood is now deaded after three months, sorry but I can't be with someone that no one respects and doesn't respect me, and gets mad over the fact that I have friends and was spending time maintaining those relationships. later hater.) Boy is now another motivator, he is all about the gym and in really, really good shape.
My dad has been letting me do all of the food shopping. My favorite meal for the past month or so has been sliced apple+cheese+slice of dank bread. I try and get healthy things that I can't binge on and that's been going pretty well. I've been working in the grocery section of Target almost everyday, and they carry a lot of super healthy things. I try and make note of certain things that I want to try and keep a running list in my head. I think that next time I want to go shopping there and pick up some of the stuff that I've seen.
My friend and I got into it again today, I brought her to her boyfriend's house last night. She asked if I would, and I said yes as long as it wasn't too late because I had to be up at 5:30 for work. She said around 10, which I said was fine. Then she texted me at 10 saying she just had to take a shower quick and we could go. Around 11:30 she was finally ready, and I got her and drove her over there. On the way she says that she really doesn't have the money to spend on gas, and like really? I don't have money to spend on chauffeuring her around, I can't afford to go anywhere that I want to go. She acted like it was a huge fucking issue to give me gas money, and towards the end of the ride I mentioned the fact that she owes me $50 and a half gram. I told her that I was completely out of money and drugs, and she just said that she'll pay me when she could. Of course I get left hanging after helping her out. Today she throws it in my face for me not to forget the six month period where I owed her "hundreds" of dollars (really the most she ever let me front was $60 at a time, I owed her $100 once and she had no problem harassing me about it all the time). I don't even feel like telling the rest of this story, she bitched at me this morning after I got home from work to come and get her, and basically she's just a vile, ungrateful, disgusting junkie CUNT and I fucking hate her. I deaded this kid in Albany along with the $300 he owes me, her and the shit she owes me can go fuck off and find a new driver too. I fucking hate the bitch, she never has anything nice to say and turns into a cunt as soon as I won't do something for her as soon as she asks. I'm over people not appreciating what I do for them and getting walked all over. Fuck her.
Love&Light xox
I have been losing weight, I make my appetite almost nonexistent so that is good. I'm afraid to get on the scale most of the time though. I haven't weighed myself in a while, but I dug out an old pair of jeans that I can wear, and being able to wear them means that I am doing well. I lost my weight loss journal somewhere in my room and that is really bothering me right now. I have to clean my room ASAP, I am sick of living like this. There's cups and ashes and random shit strewn all over the place. I should spend this weekend cleaning and organizing myself and my room since I won't be going to Albany to visit my boy. (Cuse dood is now deaded after three months, sorry but I can't be with someone that no one respects and doesn't respect me, and gets mad over the fact that I have friends and was spending time maintaining those relationships. later hater.) Boy is now another motivator, he is all about the gym and in really, really good shape.
My dad has been letting me do all of the food shopping. My favorite meal for the past month or so has been sliced apple+cheese+slice of dank bread. I try and get healthy things that I can't binge on and that's been going pretty well. I've been working in the grocery section of Target almost everyday, and they carry a lot of super healthy things. I try and make note of certain things that I want to try and keep a running list in my head. I think that next time I want to go shopping there and pick up some of the stuff that I've seen.
My friend and I got into it again today, I brought her to her boyfriend's house last night. She asked if I would, and I said yes as long as it wasn't too late because I had to be up at 5:30 for work. She said around 10, which I said was fine. Then she texted me at 10 saying she just had to take a shower quick and we could go. Around 11:30 she was finally ready, and I got her and drove her over there. On the way she says that she really doesn't have the money to spend on gas, and like really? I don't have money to spend on chauffeuring her around, I can't afford to go anywhere that I want to go. She acted like it was a huge fucking issue to give me gas money, and towards the end of the ride I mentioned the fact that she owes me $50 and a half gram. I told her that I was completely out of money and drugs, and she just said that she'll pay me when she could. Of course I get left hanging after helping her out. Today she throws it in my face for me not to forget the six month period where I owed her "hundreds" of dollars (really the most she ever let me front was $60 at a time, I owed her $100 once and she had no problem harassing me about it all the time). I don't even feel like telling the rest of this story, she bitched at me this morning after I got home from work to come and get her, and basically she's just a vile, ungrateful, disgusting junkie CUNT and I fucking hate her. I deaded this kid in Albany along with the $300 he owes me, her and the shit she owes me can go fuck off and find a new driver too. I fucking hate the bitch, she never has anything nice to say and turns into a cunt as soon as I won't do something for her as soon as she asks. I'm over people not appreciating what I do for them and getting walked all over. Fuck her.
Love&Light xox