Life and Poetry
Happy summer, y'all! It's been a while since I've posted, so I thought I'd bite the bullet and make myself do it. I've not been too busy but I'm volunteering at a teen clinic this summer and I'm really enjoying that. It's nice to be more relaxed after the insanity of school last year.
I've been thinking a lot about different things lately, especially tattoos and gender theory. An interesting mix, certainly. I adored my first tattoo enormously and I definitely want to get more. I have two possible favorites at the moment, but they're still ideas at the moment. The first one is "sesquipedialian" on the inside of my bicep in typewriter font. Words have made a profound impact on my life and I used to be called the walking dictionary as a smaller child. I really like the idea of having a word about words and verbosity on what is the stereotypical "strength" muscle, and I want to have something to remind me of the power of words.
My other possible idea is the word verisimilitude. It would be really swirly with stylized, swirly images surrounding it on the outside of my calf. Unlike my first tattoo, it'd have color, which is new for me since I tend to be drawn more to just black and gray tattoos. This word has really spoken to me for a long time and now that I've been thinking a lot of gender I like the idea of the appearance of reality or truthfulness in gender and presenting one's gender or sexuality.
Speaking of gender, I've been frequenting many gender variant blogs and tumblrs, which has sparked a great deal of though on my part. I haven't really ever thought, "I am a woman and that is all that I am," (no disrespect intended with the inclusion of "all") but I am not entirely sure I'm anything else. Does that make sense? I definitely went through the feminist phase of saying, "fuck you, I love my body," so I'm clear on that front. And I do love my body. I love my hips and my skin and my eyes and eyelashes. On the other hand, I like binding and dressing/presenting as masculine. I definitely feel more calm and grounded some days when I'm wearing men's clothing and/or binding. I'm semi-seriously considering buying a real binder, but I'm not sure that I want to spend so much money on that.
On a more fandom-y topic, I'm getting around (finally) to typing up the over 100 pages of my novel from last November. I'm averaging around 450 words per page, so I got closer than I thought to fulfilling the NaNoWriMo requirements. In any case, I need to type up all these pages, edit them drastically (as my characters changed who they were attracted to through the novel), and actually finish it. I calculate it that I';m approximately 40% through the plot. This worries me since I already have nearly 50,000 words already. Oh well.
Also! I managed to claim an original of Raitala's a few weeks ago, and it arrived last week. It is so wonderful and I love it. I'm going to have it framed and put it up on my bedroom wall. I grinned like a loon for hours the day I got it! She is such a talented artist and I am honored to have an original of hers.
On a happier note, I have a poem to post! It's a villanelle I wrote for my creative writing class, and because I love wordplay, it's a villanelle about a villain!
So now the bite of the night laughs as he kills
When the Dark began to bite,
One young man lived for the light of the day
Though he had always enjoyed the night.
But during that day he loved to fight.
It mattered not the reason, for him it was play
When the Dark began to bite.
When the time came to play for his might,
He had to journey to hell's bay
And he had always enjoyed the night.
The pain and pleasure pulled him in tight
Until he began to relish hurting his prey
As soon as the Dark began to bite.
When he felt the tension of his plight
It was too late and he could not run away
And he had always enjoyed the night.
And so his Darkness grew to feel right
Until the Dark became the only way
When the Dark began to bite
For he had always enjoyed the night.
Thanks for reading!
I've been thinking a lot about different things lately, especially tattoos and gender theory. An interesting mix, certainly. I adored my first tattoo enormously and I definitely want to get more. I have two possible favorites at the moment, but they're still ideas at the moment. The first one is "sesquipedialian" on the inside of my bicep in typewriter font. Words have made a profound impact on my life and I used to be called the walking dictionary as a smaller child. I really like the idea of having a word about words and verbosity on what is the stereotypical "strength" muscle, and I want to have something to remind me of the power of words.
My other possible idea is the word verisimilitude. It would be really swirly with stylized, swirly images surrounding it on the outside of my calf. Unlike my first tattoo, it'd have color, which is new for me since I tend to be drawn more to just black and gray tattoos. This word has really spoken to me for a long time and now that I've been thinking a lot of gender I like the idea of the appearance of reality or truthfulness in gender and presenting one's gender or sexuality.
Speaking of gender, I've been frequenting many gender variant blogs and tumblrs, which has sparked a great deal of though on my part. I haven't really ever thought, "I am a woman and that is all that I am," (no disrespect intended with the inclusion of "all") but I am not entirely sure I'm anything else. Does that make sense? I definitely went through the feminist phase of saying, "fuck you, I love my body," so I'm clear on that front. And I do love my body. I love my hips and my skin and my eyes and eyelashes. On the other hand, I like binding and dressing/presenting as masculine. I definitely feel more calm and grounded some days when I'm wearing men's clothing and/or binding. I'm semi-seriously considering buying a real binder, but I'm not sure that I want to spend so much money on that.
On a more fandom-y topic, I'm getting around (finally) to typing up the over 100 pages of my novel from last November. I'm averaging around 450 words per page, so I got closer than I thought to fulfilling the NaNoWriMo requirements. In any case, I need to type up all these pages, edit them drastically (as my characters changed who they were attracted to through the novel), and actually finish it. I calculate it that I';m approximately 40% through the plot. This worries me since I already have nearly 50,000 words already. Oh well.
Also! I managed to claim an original of Raitala's a few weeks ago, and it arrived last week. It is so wonderful and I love it. I'm going to have it framed and put it up on my bedroom wall. I grinned like a loon for hours the day I got it! She is such a talented artist and I am honored to have an original of hers.
On a happier note, I have a poem to post! It's a villanelle I wrote for my creative writing class, and because I love wordplay, it's a villanelle about a villain!
So now the bite of the night laughs as he kills
When the Dark began to bite,
One young man lived for the light of the day
Though he had always enjoyed the night.
But during that day he loved to fight.
It mattered not the reason, for him it was play
When the Dark began to bite.
When the time came to play for his might,
He had to journey to hell's bay
And he had always enjoyed the night.
The pain and pleasure pulled him in tight
Until he began to relish hurting his prey
As soon as the Dark began to bite.
When he felt the tension of his plight
It was too late and he could not run away
And he had always enjoyed the night.
And so his Darkness grew to feel right
Until the Dark became the only way
When the Dark began to bite
For he had always enjoyed the night.
Thanks for reading!