Truth on TV
Knowing that I'm a notorious pervert, a friend pointed me to this episode of Spike TV's "1000 Ways to Die." This is a series that recreates odd or amusing deaths which mainly, because this is Spike we're talking about, have to do with either farting or lesbians. This particular episode involved a large woman.
I have to say that I pretty much love how blatantly bullshit everything about this is, from the fact that the woman's stereotypically fat name (Seriously, they should have just gone all the way and called her "Bertha") to the sexual donut eating (Cuz she's fat, see?) to the fact that she supposedly "passed out" from the exhaustion of orgasming. That the victim was apparently unable to push his face out of the unconscious woman's cleavage is also hilariously bogus.
But the best part? Tom Matthews, the "chubby chaser" talking head. How do you get that gig? Do you need to have a degree in fatty lovin'? Where do the producers go about recruiting a guy like that? I assume, given Spike's dedication to journalistic integrity, that tom Matthews was probably just some random guy off the street who might not have even been a fatty lover, but who knows. They should have asked me to appear; since they're obviously trying to make fatty lovin sound like some sort of perverse addiction, I could have given a much better one-sentence explanation that would key exactly into their thesis. (ie HUUUUUUURRRRR FATTIES SO HOT) Anyway, I hope that someday I get that kind of recognition for my tireless work in talking about large women and also for masturbating.
Also funny: the other expert that comes on to explain the very complicated and unfamiliar concept of suffocation. Really, Spike? Really?
I should also mention that this was the first time I'd heard the phrase "chubby chaser" in, like, 15 years. As near as I can tell, it's an archaic term like "oriental" or something. It seems to have acquired a homosexual connotation, since straight fatty lovers almost invariably refer to themselves as "Fat Admirers." Though I haven't seen gay fatty lovers using "chubby chaser," either. They seem to use bear hunter or bear or something to do with bears. I dunno, I could be wrong, I'm just talking out of my ass.
Also also, the actress they got in this clip is totally smoking hot.
Unrelated, the YouTube related videos showed me this one, in which the show tries to pass off the horiest of urban legends as truth. Next they'll talk about that spider living in your toilet seat.
Click to viewI have to say that I pretty much love how blatantly bullshit everything about this is, from the fact that the woman's stereotypically fat name (Seriously, they should have just gone all the way and called her "Bertha") to the sexual donut eating (Cuz she's fat, see?) to the fact that she supposedly "passed out" from the exhaustion of orgasming. That the victim was apparently unable to push his face out of the unconscious woman's cleavage is also hilariously bogus.
But the best part? Tom Matthews, the "chubby chaser" talking head. How do you get that gig? Do you need to have a degree in fatty lovin'? Where do the producers go about recruiting a guy like that? I assume, given Spike's dedication to journalistic integrity, that tom Matthews was probably just some random guy off the street who might not have even been a fatty lover, but who knows. They should have asked me to appear; since they're obviously trying to make fatty lovin sound like some sort of perverse addiction, I could have given a much better one-sentence explanation that would key exactly into their thesis. (ie HUUUUUUURRRRR FATTIES SO HOT) Anyway, I hope that someday I get that kind of recognition for my tireless work in talking about large women and also for masturbating.
Also funny: the other expert that comes on to explain the very complicated and unfamiliar concept of suffocation. Really, Spike? Really?
I should also mention that this was the first time I'd heard the phrase "chubby chaser" in, like, 15 years. As near as I can tell, it's an archaic term like "oriental" or something. It seems to have acquired a homosexual connotation, since straight fatty lovers almost invariably refer to themselves as "Fat Admirers." Though I haven't seen gay fatty lovers using "chubby chaser," either. They seem to use bear hunter or bear or something to do with bears. I dunno, I could be wrong, I'm just talking out of my ass.
Also also, the actress they got in this clip is totally smoking hot.
Unrelated, the YouTube related videos showed me this one, in which the show tries to pass off the horiest of urban legends as truth. Next they'll talk about that spider living in your toilet seat.