Science discovers that people are attracted to different things, sky is blue
Isn't it wonderful to live in this modern progressive era, when science is continuously blasting holes through the dark shroud of ignorance, scattering the nattering demons of superstition? Why, just take a look at this amazing new study that finds that men who say that they like fat women may, in fact, like fat women. As opposed to, I suppose, lying that they like fat women in some sort of bizarre, masochistic attempt to bed the very women that they despise.
A new study in The Journal of Sex Research shows that men who self-identify as "fat admirers" not only find overweight women exceedingly attractive, they have an more robust appreciation of feminine beauty than men who don't identify that way. The former men (dubbed FAs) and latter were both shown 10 pictures of women of various body types and asked to pick the woman they found most attractive and to identify the heaviest and thinnest women they found attractive.
The study's first conclusion is pretty obvious -- fatty perverts love fatties -- but the second one is actually rather interesting. As some of you may know, I love me some fatties, so this study proves that I am a sensitive new-agey guy who loves women of all sizes as evidenced by the fact that I sensitively refer to larger women as fatties. I've been pretty critical here of fatty fetishists who like to go on about how their preference for larger women makes them more enlightened than men who prefer smaller ones when, in reality, they're still demanding that women conform to some arbitrary standard. Well, I guess this study really puts me in my place! Turns out that the fatty lovers really ARE more enlightened -- or at least as enlightened as you can claim to be based on the inscrutable and uncontrollable demands of your cock.
As some of you also know, I'm married to a woman who isn't very fat at all. In fact, she's quite svelte. And one of the problems with my being so vocal about my love of larger women is that she's often skeptical when I tell her that I still find her attractive. However, she's a big LIBERALLY ATHEISTY SCIENCEY PERSON who would probably be posting on Pharyngula about how her BIG FAT PhD means she's not really arrogant if she wasn't too busy forcing schoolchildren to gay marry Wiccan stem cells. The point is that while she doubts the word of the man that she married and who is theoretically her LIFE SOUL MATE, there is no way that she can doubt the findings of SCIENCE. Science has confirmed the turgidity of my penis. Check and mate!
The researchers theorized that fatty fetishists found a broader rage of women attractive because "once those men has rejected 'sociocultural norms of attractiveness' by self-identifying and being involved as FAs, they were more readily accepting of a wider range of female beauty."
That may well be. I'm no scientist, but, having spent some time amongst the fatty fetish community*, I'd wager the real reason is more likely that they felt ashamed for liking larger women and so tried to balance it out by pretending to like smaller women as well, because that's the sort of dumb shit they pull. Half the posts in every fatty fetish community consist of mewling about how ashamed they are of liking larger women because society totally looks down on and oppresses them, man.** Also, posts about how liking fat women is totally comparable to being gay, because remember all those guys who got beaten to death by rednecks for liking chunky chicks or how California passed that proposition to disallow different-weight marriage?
The post also mentions a new Fox reality show that seeks to deal with America's weight issues with a dignified and sensitive public mockery. The Jezebel post finally clears up my big lingering question from when I first heard about the concept for this show: Is it pairing fat men with fat women? Because the initial description that I read seemed to imply that it was pairing fat women with "men who would appreciate them" (because, you know, the attention of a man is what you ladies really need to validate your existence, am I right?) but it also hinted that it would be pairing them with fat men, apparently under some weird delusion that BEING FAT meant that you were also automatically attracted to other fat people. This is not necessarily true, as evidenced by the fact that about 99%*** of all FAs are pasty, scrawny nerds. But, I dunno, maybe pairing people of different weights would amount to some new and exotic form of miscegenation that would offend prominent Fox money maker Bill O'Reilly or something. Everyone knows that fat/thin pairings are only acceptable if you're talking about a fat bumbling manchild and his inexplicably hot long-suffering wife, as seen Tuesday nights on our HILARIOUS NEW SITCOM! IF YOU LIKED THE SIMPSONS, YOU'LL LOVE THIS SHOW BECAUSE, JUST LIKE THE SIMPSONS, THIS SHOW IS ALSO ON TELEVISION!
Hey, unrelated, we were selected to be a Nielsons household. But we don't watch TV because we don't get any reception here, so our answers will mostly reflect Moody's obsession with watching old footage of Colin Blunstone concerts. So when the Nielsons put out their report, it will probably say "Northern California mostly watches crap."
* - who all flip conniptions if you describe their proclivities as a fetish rather than a unique and delicate sexuality.
**- The other half consist of surreptitious up-skirt camera phone photos of chubby pubescent girls on their way to dance practice. Hey, ladies, do you like having your privacy violated and the results posted on the Internet? You'll like it even more when it's accompanied by the caption "GODDAMN THAT ASS IS SO FAT *MOVES HAND TO DICK*"
*** - Totally accurate statistics provided by the US Department of My Ass
A new study in The Journal of Sex Research shows that men who self-identify as "fat admirers" not only find overweight women exceedingly attractive, they have an more robust appreciation of feminine beauty than men who don't identify that way. The former men (dubbed FAs) and latter were both shown 10 pictures of women of various body types and asked to pick the woman they found most attractive and to identify the heaviest and thinnest women they found attractive.
The study's first conclusion is pretty obvious -- fatty perverts love fatties -- but the second one is actually rather interesting. As some of you may know, I love me some fatties, so this study proves that I am a sensitive new-agey guy who loves women of all sizes as evidenced by the fact that I sensitively refer to larger women as fatties. I've been pretty critical here of fatty fetishists who like to go on about how their preference for larger women makes them more enlightened than men who prefer smaller ones when, in reality, they're still demanding that women conform to some arbitrary standard. Well, I guess this study really puts me in my place! Turns out that the fatty lovers really ARE more enlightened -- or at least as enlightened as you can claim to be based on the inscrutable and uncontrollable demands of your cock.
As some of you also know, I'm married to a woman who isn't very fat at all. In fact, she's quite svelte. And one of the problems with my being so vocal about my love of larger women is that she's often skeptical when I tell her that I still find her attractive. However, she's a big LIBERALLY ATHEISTY SCIENCEY PERSON who would probably be posting on Pharyngula about how her BIG FAT PhD means she's not really arrogant if she wasn't too busy forcing schoolchildren to gay marry Wiccan stem cells. The point is that while she doubts the word of the man that she married and who is theoretically her LIFE SOUL MATE, there is no way that she can doubt the findings of SCIENCE. Science has confirmed the turgidity of my penis. Check and mate!
The researchers theorized that fatty fetishists found a broader rage of women attractive because "once those men has rejected 'sociocultural norms of attractiveness' by self-identifying and being involved as FAs, they were more readily accepting of a wider range of female beauty."
That may well be. I'm no scientist, but, having spent some time amongst the fatty fetish community*, I'd wager the real reason is more likely that they felt ashamed for liking larger women and so tried to balance it out by pretending to like smaller women as well, because that's the sort of dumb shit they pull. Half the posts in every fatty fetish community consist of mewling about how ashamed they are of liking larger women because society totally looks down on and oppresses them, man.** Also, posts about how liking fat women is totally comparable to being gay, because remember all those guys who got beaten to death by rednecks for liking chunky chicks or how California passed that proposition to disallow different-weight marriage?
The post also mentions a new Fox reality show that seeks to deal with America's weight issues with a dignified and sensitive public mockery. The Jezebel post finally clears up my big lingering question from when I first heard about the concept for this show: Is it pairing fat men with fat women? Because the initial description that I read seemed to imply that it was pairing fat women with "men who would appreciate them" (because, you know, the attention of a man is what you ladies really need to validate your existence, am I right?) but it also hinted that it would be pairing them with fat men, apparently under some weird delusion that BEING FAT meant that you were also automatically attracted to other fat people. This is not necessarily true, as evidenced by the fact that about 99%*** of all FAs are pasty, scrawny nerds. But, I dunno, maybe pairing people of different weights would amount to some new and exotic form of miscegenation that would offend prominent Fox money maker Bill O'Reilly or something. Everyone knows that fat/thin pairings are only acceptable if you're talking about a fat bumbling manchild and his inexplicably hot long-suffering wife, as seen Tuesday nights on our HILARIOUS NEW SITCOM! IF YOU LIKED THE SIMPSONS, YOU'LL LOVE THIS SHOW BECAUSE, JUST LIKE THE SIMPSONS, THIS SHOW IS ALSO ON TELEVISION!
Hey, unrelated, we were selected to be a Nielsons household. But we don't watch TV because we don't get any reception here, so our answers will mostly reflect Moody's obsession with watching old footage of Colin Blunstone concerts. So when the Nielsons put out their report, it will probably say "Northern California mostly watches crap."
* - who all flip conniptions if you describe their proclivities as a fetish rather than a unique and delicate sexuality.
**- The other half consist of surreptitious up-skirt camera phone photos of chubby pubescent girls on their way to dance practice. Hey, ladies, do you like having your privacy violated and the results posted on the Internet? You'll like it even more when it's accompanied by the caption "GODDAMN THAT ASS IS SO FAT *MOVES HAND TO DICK*"
*** - Totally accurate statistics provided by the US Department of My Ass