Ok so lots of drama as of late...
I'm watching my family fall apart... again, and all I feel I can really do is sit back and watch it happen. Found out a few days past that Jason is a drug dealer. Yes, you read that right, Jason has been selling drugs for at least the last six months. (If you would like all the gory details feel free to give me a ring, I just don't feel like typing the whole bloody thing out.) The gist is my mom found his stash, turned him in, and we're now pretty sure he's going to do some time. Fun isn't it? It's still hard for me to reconcile this drug dealing person with my brother Rason. I tried to talk to him about it today, to let him know I'm really worried about him, and all I succeeded in doing was forcing a bigger wedge between the two of us. After he went after me once again, I decided until he changes his ways and apologizes, we're done. And boy does everyone have their own opinion on what should be done or how I should handle it, but I'm doing what I feel is best.
There's this somber cloud hanging over my house. I don't think any of us have really come to terms with the situation. My mom is a complete wreck and she's lashing out at everyone around her. My sister is involved, or at least I have a hunch that she is. And I'm really just hurt. It hurts that he could do something so stupid and so immature and have no qualms about it. He's only sorry he got caught not that he fucked up royally. So right now I'm trying to deal with these angry emotions that are all too familiar. I think my mom and I are on the same page with this. We were really hurt by Jim's betrayal and now Jason is betraying us as well. It just brings back a lot of old feelings that we had thought we were passed. So right now things are day in, day out, and I would like to apologize ahead of time if I'm absent as of late. Work and all of this have kept me very busy this last week. My head is still freakin' spinning...
Oh and something that I feel the freakin' need to vent about: apparently according to several of my siblings, I've had everything handed to me on a silver platter. I got to go to Egan with my friends, I got to take all those dance lessons, I got my license and a car, I got a cell phone. Well I was unaware, but these were just handed to me one day, no work from me involved. Bull fricken ish! This really got me riled. I worked my ass off to be able to have all those things. Jesus, I got to go to Egan becasue I got a scholarship due to my achievements in grade school. I took dance lessons, got a cell phone, drove a car, because I HAD A JOB and could pay for those things. Yes of course my grandmother helped me out, but I carried my weight through it all. To tell me I wafted through high school without a care in the world is really condescending. I barely had time to freakin sit! But I didn't do all these things so they could get acknowledged, I did them because I wanted them desperately enough to go through it. It's unfair to spit my accomplishments back out at me, as if I didn't earn them! GROW THE EFF UP! "My friends' parents buy them cars and clothes and whine whine whine" Ok so you can't get everything you want, and sometimes you can't get what you need, but you're still alive and kicking aren't ya? And have of the financial debt you're in is due to your own dumb mistakes. Things for you will probably never be easy, but instead of whining about it, deal with it and move on. Yea you're just a kid, but you're old enough to realize that there are consequences to your actions. I really wish everyone would stop making excuses for him, and finally allow him to own up to his mistakes.
whew... it always feels good to vent these things. A special thanks to my dearest Katers for listening to me bitch so much about this ish! I heart you!!!
on a much lighter note, WILLY WONKA! I've scene it twice already and I'm sure I'll see it again. So damn good. I don't care what all you haters say, it's a damn good movie regardless of the back story. MUMBLER! oh man can't wait to catch it again!
and oh I got my hair cut/dyed/high-lighted. looks pretty cool if I do say so myself.
There's this somber cloud hanging over my house. I don't think any of us have really come to terms with the situation. My mom is a complete wreck and she's lashing out at everyone around her. My sister is involved, or at least I have a hunch that she is. And I'm really just hurt. It hurts that he could do something so stupid and so immature and have no qualms about it. He's only sorry he got caught not that he fucked up royally. So right now I'm trying to deal with these angry emotions that are all too familiar. I think my mom and I are on the same page with this. We were really hurt by Jim's betrayal and now Jason is betraying us as well. It just brings back a lot of old feelings that we had thought we were passed. So right now things are day in, day out, and I would like to apologize ahead of time if I'm absent as of late. Work and all of this have kept me very busy this last week. My head is still freakin' spinning...
Oh and something that I feel the freakin' need to vent about: apparently according to several of my siblings, I've had everything handed to me on a silver platter. I got to go to Egan with my friends, I got to take all those dance lessons, I got my license and a car, I got a cell phone. Well I was unaware, but these were just handed to me one day, no work from me involved. Bull fricken ish! This really got me riled. I worked my ass off to be able to have all those things. Jesus, I got to go to Egan becasue I got a scholarship due to my achievements in grade school. I took dance lessons, got a cell phone, drove a car, because I HAD A JOB and could pay for those things. Yes of course my grandmother helped me out, but I carried my weight through it all. To tell me I wafted through high school without a care in the world is really condescending. I barely had time to freakin sit! But I didn't do all these things so they could get acknowledged, I did them because I wanted them desperately enough to go through it. It's unfair to spit my accomplishments back out at me, as if I didn't earn them! GROW THE EFF UP! "My friends' parents buy them cars and clothes and whine whine whine" Ok so you can't get everything you want, and sometimes you can't get what you need, but you're still alive and kicking aren't ya? And have of the financial debt you're in is due to your own dumb mistakes. Things for you will probably never be easy, but instead of whining about it, deal with it and move on. Yea you're just a kid, but you're old enough to realize that there are consequences to your actions. I really wish everyone would stop making excuses for him, and finally allow him to own up to his mistakes.
whew... it always feels good to vent these things. A special thanks to my dearest Katers for listening to me bitch so much about this ish! I heart you!!!
on a much lighter note, WILLY WONKA! I've scene it twice already and I'm sure I'll see it again. So damn good. I don't care what all you haters say, it's a damn good movie regardless of the back story. MUMBLER! oh man can't wait to catch it again!
and oh I got my hair cut/dyed/high-lighted. looks pretty cool if I do say so myself.