Uh oh...
You know what's a really piss-poor idea? Bottling things up instead of dealing with them.
Just warning you right now, I have a lot to get off my chest....
Where do I start? I suppose first off should be my grandparents, the ones on mom's side. My grandfather was more or less kicked out of his nursing home. He has alzheimers, and apparently his tendency to walk around and chat with other residents made people uncomfortable. Mind you, this man was a minister for 50 years? Talking to people has been his entire life. He was completely normal well into his early 70's, but after 9/11 he began having flashbacks to his service at Normandy during WW2. This was Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome, and it caused him to suffer a number of small strokes and an incredibly rapid onset of the alzheimers. His health has been deteriorating, and that scares the shit out of me. Mortality was never something I gave much thought to until recently.
Then, there's his wife, my grandmother. She has had to stop working [she worked until the age of 78, bless her heart] recently, and now the family is trying to figure out arrangements to move her out of the house my grandparents have lived for the last 15ish years of their "retirement" and into a nursing home. Oh yes, and it's the same one my grandfather got kicked out of too. Caring for my grandfather has had a big effect on her too, so this also worries me a lot.
And on top of all that, there's my mother! She just got "irregular" results on a mammogram. Considering her health history, there is a good chance that this means she'll have cancer again. For those of you keeping track at home, this would be the third time my mother has had cancer since my sophomore year of high school. Needless to say, I am fucking terrified. She still hasn't fully recovered from the cancer treatment of four years ago! The cancer was eliminated from her intestines, sure, but the chemo and radiation fucked her up long-term. Not cool.
And then, there's me. I don't even know what to say. I have been completely uprooted. I have been in Boston for 11 months. 99.9% of the people I grew up with are still back at home, and here I am in the city. I feel like I have grown up a lot, but at the same time things are so different. I am very different from what I ever could have expected a year or two ago. I feel a little bit better after writing this all out, but still...damn. I think my heart is playing a techno bassline? I really need to have a smoke [yeah, I sucked at quitting, sorry to say] and chill the fuck out before someething pops. Much love to anyone who took the time to read my ramblings, it's greatly appreciated...
Just warning you right now, I have a lot to get off my chest....
Where do I start? I suppose first off should be my grandparents, the ones on mom's side. My grandfather was more or less kicked out of his nursing home. He has alzheimers, and apparently his tendency to walk around and chat with other residents made people uncomfortable. Mind you, this man was a minister for 50 years? Talking to people has been his entire life. He was completely normal well into his early 70's, but after 9/11 he began having flashbacks to his service at Normandy during WW2. This was Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome, and it caused him to suffer a number of small strokes and an incredibly rapid onset of the alzheimers. His health has been deteriorating, and that scares the shit out of me. Mortality was never something I gave much thought to until recently.
Then, there's his wife, my grandmother. She has had to stop working [she worked until the age of 78, bless her heart] recently, and now the family is trying to figure out arrangements to move her out of the house my grandparents have lived for the last 15ish years of their "retirement" and into a nursing home. Oh yes, and it's the same one my grandfather got kicked out of too. Caring for my grandfather has had a big effect on her too, so this also worries me a lot.
And on top of all that, there's my mother! She just got "irregular" results on a mammogram. Considering her health history, there is a good chance that this means she'll have cancer again. For those of you keeping track at home, this would be the third time my mother has had cancer since my sophomore year of high school. Needless to say, I am fucking terrified. She still hasn't fully recovered from the cancer treatment of four years ago! The cancer was eliminated from her intestines, sure, but the chemo and radiation fucked her up long-term. Not cool.
And then, there's me. I don't even know what to say. I have been completely uprooted. I have been in Boston for 11 months. 99.9% of the people I grew up with are still back at home, and here I am in the city. I feel like I have grown up a lot, but at the same time things are so different. I am very different from what I ever could have expected a year or two ago. I feel a little bit better after writing this all out, but still...damn. I think my heart is playing a techno bassline? I really need to have a smoke [yeah, I sucked at quitting, sorry to say] and chill the fuck out before someething pops. Much love to anyone who took the time to read my ramblings, it's greatly appreciated...