Bunny: All is fair in Love & War
Title:All is fair in love and war
Pairings:Yoochun ♥ Junsu | Yoochun ﾟ☆ﾟChangmin
Rating:Nc-15
Disclaimer:If mine…you’d see what I’d do >.< mohhahahaha
Genre:Angst, romance, high school
Beta:ting5
Author:agnetalovek
Summary: (Do I have to do this…?)
In the mist of hectic lives of high school Junsu has a secret crush. One day someone shows up and also has the same insight of crush and how wonderful it would be to have Yoochun as a boyfriend.
A/N: This time the story is written a little bit complicated. All the changing in text type might confuse you so I hope you can put with me to the ending.
And thanks to ting5!!!
| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆
There is no free meal in this world. You would have to pay with something precious but still it would not be considered a sacrifice because you did it willingly.
How much sadness and regret afterwards, if not already written on the check, then you can forget about it.
Junsu was considering his options since even after coming all this way, he still did not want to give up yet. There was too much regret not of happiness and sacrifices but of the pressure and lies. So many lies have been told and none of them could be undone by a simple “I’m sorry.”
His own shadow covered half the table, his hunched figure pitiful to watch from afar. His coffee tasted like sand in his mouth and the cake tasted like shit. Feeling no remorse for himself as what had happened was in the past.
How deep had he sunk to and who has he become in order to obtain his love. After the far away glances were no longer enough and the new youth threatened his peaceful days, Junsu had no other options but to act and act fast.
It was a strange night with no clouds and the stars were visible for viewing. His own fate for the evening seemed not that compatible with the weather. The gnawing sensation he felt made every breath he took more difficult than ever.
Why did it take so much strength to do this simple task? Junsu had mustered all his strength and courage but all that seemed to dissipate when he felt the tight embrace from behind.
“How long have you been waiting?”
“Not for long. Sit down, I’ll order your favorite white oolong tea. It’s good for your throat.” Junsu’s hoarse voice called for the waiter to order Yoochun’s drink.
Yoochun was still in his long furry coat with the red knitted scarf from Junsu. His hair was dripping wet and the white snow flakes decorated his hair like sugar on chocolate. Junsu felt the pull urging him to run his hand through the chestnut brown hair.
“There is something I want to talk about today.” Junsu was very serious, his eyes sharp with a little frown on his forehead. “I’m not sure where to begin.”
“Let us enjoy the tea first.”
Unknown to Yoochun, Junsu has been waiting in this café since ten in the morning and now the sun was already setting. Yoochun’s words assured Junsu but unnerved him too as it meant the breakup would have to wait.
The waiter who served him the entire day threw him annoyed glances as his cups filled their kitchen. When the waiter placed their drinks on the table, he snickered at Junsu in such a way that said; oh, so this is who you’ve been waiting for.
Although he wanted to smack that person and say something to defend himself, he felt like he deserved this treatment. Because he really did.
“Junsu let me introduce you to my best friend from my vocal course. He also plays the piano.”
Their meeting was simple, like friends meeting over dinner. But this dinner was planned just for Junsu. Since the dolphin boy was always so shy not knowing how to show his true character Jaejoong hoped that by bringing his two best friends would make things would get better.
Inside his house, it was a world of its own where no one would bother and discourage Junsu from making friends. Just as Jaejoong predicted, Junsu felt a special rush of spring through him when his Yoochun showed him how to play Assassin Creed, when Yoochun’s arms circled around his making him feel alive again.
Yunho and Jaejoong were playing in their room, a game Junsu didn’t want to get involved in. Jaejoong’s sunbae Jae Wook was studying for his exams in the balcony. It was really strange how they all befriended each other that night.
“Yoochun let’s talk.” He focused all his attention on Yoochun. “Can you please look at me.” He wanted to end this fast and leave. To leave this scarred place that he would never return to again.
“Junsu, do you like Yoochun? He’s a really good friend and knows how to keep secrets. I saw that you two get along really well.”
Junsu hesitated. His face hidden underneath his bangs, and he fixed his hair with his hands. A habit of his when he was feeling nervous.
“Sure. I’ll consider being friends with him.” He bit his lips and squeezed his eyes shut.
“What’s there to consider. Start hanging out and do something. You can’t live for studying only Junsu. I swear one day all that knowledge will escape from you when love found you.”
After a long silence, Yunho entered the room and hugged his boyfriend tightly unwilling to let go. Junsu found this amusing as he saw Jaejoong struggled in a playful manner yet begging to be pinned down by his hubby.
“I forgot to borrow some books today. See you later Jaejoong.”
The empty dorm was a chilly sight as most of the students had already gone home or had stayed in the main school building. He, Jaejoong, Yunho and Jae Wook opted to stay at the dorm.
Most of the students stayed because of these two reasons, poor or family issues.
***
It was almost dark outside. No one was at school, probably only the dorm students.
Junsu climbed three floors before finally arriving at the library wing. He entered in delight and went about choosing something old and cheerful to read. Suddenly he heard the rustling of clothes and moaning of a woman.
Junsu immediately figured out that it was a couple making out but wondered how bold they were. Ignoring them, Junsu picked out five books and entered his password into the system to borrow them. On his way out, out of rotten luck, Junsu accidentally knocked over a potted plant ending it crashing to the floor.
Seeing pieces of ceramics and sand went flying all over the place, Junsu let out a hiss before covering his mouth. Knowing there was no time as the intimate make-out has stopped and footsteps were fast approaching him with quick reflexes he hid behind the counter.
Junsu was boiling up from the suspense and embarrassment. He prayed to God that the person would not discover him. Just then he heard a familiar greasy masculine voice, “Baby, no one’s here. Maybe it was a cat?” The person then laughed before walking away back to the girl.
The said person was his new best friend. Park Yoochun.
At that time Junsu still didn’t know what his feelings symbolized. His flushed face turned sour and then sad. He was disappointed at himself for believing in friendship and that he was hoping for something more. Yoochun didn’t betray him but it felt like he did.
Junsu swallowed his cries and ran out of the library. He didn’t turn back even once to take a last glance or do anything. He just ran straight back to Jaejoong’s room.
“Yoochun, we’ve been together for a year now. You’ve brought me a lot of happiness and really, never once made me cry. I was happy with you. It may be the happiest time I’ll ever experience.”
Junsu didn’t want to say anymore. He needed space and choosing this café was apparently a wrong choice. He wrung his hands under the table, nails of his left hands digging into the soft flesh of his right arm leaving behind red marks. If he did not stop soon he may draw blood.
Yoochun sat there quietly, like a Chaebol full of pride. His posture composed and expression tranquil, waiting for Junsu to continue.
From then on Junsu thought only of keeping his crush a secret not having any courage to confess. Jaejoong often asked him about his sudden change of decision, and all he could say was, “We are not fit to be friends.”
After that Junsu turned even gloomier, shut himself off, never opening up again to new people and stopped all kind of socializing business. Well, at least that was what people from school thought that the small short kid with brown hair was an outcast.
It didn’t really bother him because this way he could look at Yoochun from afar. The knowledge that Yoochun solely belonged to no one was a relief to him too. But still it saddened him when rumors of Yoochun’s Casanova ways reached his ears.
However the fact that Yoochun was a player also contributed to his strong and determined feelings for Yoochun. As Junsu knew that Yoochun will never be serious with any of the people he hooked up with..
School was not too hard for Junsu except for P.E. which he only had average grades. Whatever sports that he played somehow the ball was always aimed at him. And he had long gave up in competing for the ball and instead ran away from it.
Unfortunately today was volleyball, one of the sports he disliked the most.
*Thunk*
The ball hit his face even with his effort to escape. Junsu felt something wet dripping and saw a small red stain on his white gym shirt. What a weak man he was. Before Junsu could look around and call for help, he had already passed out.
Junsu had always been afraid of blood. The sight of fresh red blood made him nauseous and he would definitely faint. When he woke up the warm soft hand holding him had disappeared. He looked around and saw that he was alone at the infirmary. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw the blood has stopped.
“I…I think…I think that we should break up.”
Junsu was not as innocent and nerdy as everyone in school thought. He had his secret. A secret he shared with no one. Like normal he checked his appearance one last time before heading out. His boots making crunching sounds on the gravel as he walked for twenty minutes to Shinee.
A gay club.
The first thing he did was to order a drink letting it calmed his nerves. Junsu was still nervous no matter how many times he had visited this place. Heavy music with a rapid beat echoed across the underground bar.
Settling his worries and life down, Junsu headed toward the center and started to dance. His limbs moved with the rhythm and his hips thrust in sync with every beat of the music. Men were circling him as his dancing incited lust from them.
Finally getting tired Junsu went back to the counter and asked for a regular. There, he chatted with two men, who ended up very persistent not wanting to let him go. Junsu averted his attention searching for help. It was them he spotted him among the seas of dancing bodies. No matter where Junsu would recognize that person.
His shy nature was now replaced with a bold one. Not caring about the men courting him Junsu jumped down from his seat and with confident steps Junsu slowly closed in on his prey. But someone interrupted his purpose, a boy around his age if not a year younger circled Yoochun closed enough to caress his face.
In the dimly lit dance floor Junsu could not see the face clearly but the boy suddenly dragged Yoochun away from the dance floor to a corner. There they shared drinks and jokes laughing about something that Junsu couldn’t hear.
Junsu was really desperate as he danced closer and closer to the pair trying to hear what they were talking about or maybe even Yoochun’s voice. The boy noticed Junsu’s actions and shot him a look. It was not a friendly one as his eyes were full of pride and had a warning clearly shining through them.
Bodies were grinding against him and his back was getting harassed by multiple hands, making him lose sight of the couple and he retreated to his chair. There he was alone but not for too long.
There was no need to begrudge, but when the battle between two determined fighters began, it was all about cunning plots. The most devious and smart one, was the one to win.
Junsu rocked himself to sleep feeling new warmth swarming him.
This time without mercy and guilt, because there was someone he needed to conquer.
The battle was about pride and love, whish was something he had held inside for so long. When the admiring looks were no longer sufficient and his secret love was about to be crushed it was instinctive for Junsu to defend himself.
Jaejoong knocked on Junsu’s door, waited a few minutes before entering. It smelt of alcohol and vomit so he knew his dear cousin must have gone out drinking again. No matter what Jaejoong said about self-love and hurting himself, Junsu would not bat an eyelash and would go out again the next night.
It wasn’t that hard to figure out the reasons for Junsu’s nightly escapades. When his innocent smile faltered after seeing Yoochun with different girlfriends every day making Jaejoong cursed Yoochun for his blindness.
Yoochun had wanted to be friends with Junsu even after Jaejoong told him about Junsu’s issues and his anti-social behavior. But after seeing Junsu avoiding him and not paying any attention to him Yoochun got hurt and didn’t bother him anymore.
Sometimes Yoochun would regret and think what if they were friends and what their friendship might lead to. Along the years he gave up and only remembered the happiest time of their short friendship.
“I think it would be best if we break up now. You gave me happiness and showed me love and that’s enough.” Junsu brushed back his hair with one hand, which slightly wavered when his eyes met Yoochun’s.
Yoochun looked at him, not showing any emotions different from before. He was still solid and aware of his power and ability to lure Junsu back in with his deep brown eyes. His eyes showed no lies or intentions of stopping Junsu from continuing. It was a simple gesture of promise and respect.
Near them was group of younger students from the same school judging by their uniforms. There were five girls flocking around the two boys like hyenas, not shy at all. They asked endless questions and flirted shamelessly.
By *accident* one of the girls pushed herself into the arms of one of the boys. It was then Junsu finally remembered the boys’ names, Taemin and Minho. Both of them looked so fresh like newly ripen apples but they were confident in their looks and abilities to attract girls.
Suddenly Taemin pushed the long haired girl away from Minho and kissed him on the lips. The both of them were now engaged in a French kiss, tongues and saliva involved.
It happened one night. Junsu as usual was at the bar and he saw a chance. Chatting with the bartender Junsu carefully slipped something into the drink that Yoochun had ordered. Then he himself brought it to the man.
Like nothing out of the ordinary he sat down and started a conversation with Yoochun hoping the latter would ignore their identities and past encounters.
“So, how long have you known this place?” Yoochun asked and downed his drink in one shot. After which he looked the same. Well, Junsu hasn’t expected the drink to kick so fast either.
Playing dumb Junsu pretended to think really hard before replying, “About five years. Jaejoong brought me here during Junior High but I started coming here alone as a freshman.”
The heavy beat of music urged them to dance and with his hard to resist seductive glances Junsu pulled Yoochun up, entwined their hands leading them to the dance floor. Bodies pushed against them and hands reaching out to touch them. None of it was on purpose since everyone’s lost in their dreams on the dance floor.
Junsu took this chance to dance very close to Yoochun body gliding around Yoochun. Yoochun was not objecting which gave Junsu even more courage to continue his moves. He can see sweat trickling down Yoochun’s chest.
Their body moved together with the beat, fitting each other like a jigsaw puzzle. His hands slowly curled behind Yoochun’s neck as he rubbed himself against Yoochun, whose legs were apart from being forced close to the wall.
As the song slowly came to an end Junsu invited Yoochun for another drink. Before the man even got a chance to relax and breathe his head hit the table and he moaned softly under his breath.
Junsu immediately lifted him and carried him to their dorm. It was a hard task since Yoochun was not light and he was like a dead weight in Junsu’s arms. Before entering school ground Junsu had called Jaejoong to tell him he was coming home. Luckily for him no one answered because Junsu had no idea what to tell Jaejoong where he was going to spend the night.
Dragging Yoochun by his collar Junsu managed to move Yoochun to the bed. He eyed the drunken man who was sleeping soundly. Yoochun’s front curls settled just above his eyes which was a little wet making him look even more hot and ready to be ravished.
Junsu began to undress Yoochun and finally the only clothing shielding him from seeing Yoochun’s entire body was his red Calvin Klein boxers. Pushing aside the last bit of his insecurities Junsu removed the boxers and he now undressed himself. With that this would become the perfect crime.
***
Yoochun woke up with a heavy migraine feeling like someone had cracked his head opened and put rocks inside. Nausea overpowered him and forcing down his bile he quickly headed towards the toilet to empty his stomach.
The smell of vomit and alcohol did not help make his headache any better. Deciding to take a shower Yoochun entered the washing stall. Not realizing he was already naked Yoochun sprayed he cold water over himself. He groaned as he washed himself with the body wash.
After cleaning all the foam he stepped out of the shower and went to the sink. He added mint flavored toothpaste to his toothbrush and cleaned his mouth of any remnants from his puking. Studying himself in the mirror he saw dark circles under his bloodshot eye. Damn! He looked like a corpse.
Finding the bathroom a little bit hot he went out and that was when his eyes laid on the cute boy sleeping on his bed. It was Kim Junsu, the boy who had avoided his affections and attention for god knows how long.
Stirring in his sleep, Junsu flipped to his side with his back turned to Yoochun. Mumbling something about Jaejoong and how bright the room was he slowly rubbed his eyes. His body suddenly went still, alarmed by his new surrounding Junsu jolted up from the bed. He found himself staring at Park Yoochun who only had a towel covering his junior.
Then Junsu looked down at himself finding he was naked. His face flushed cherry red and if possible smoke may be coming out of his ears. Junsu was so embarrassed that if there was a hole in the wall or on the floor he wouldn’t hesitate to jump in.
“H-h-how di-did I en-d up here.?”
Yoochun looked just as shocked as Junsu. Why was Junsu naked in his bed? Not being able to answer he stole a glance at Junsu who was now in tears, hiccupping and shoulders shaking..
“I’m not sure myself.”
“You d-don’t th-think we did it right?”
From Yoochun’s experience he knew that nothing had happened or he would have washed off any stickiness from his cock. But the adorable innocent face in front of him just screamed ,’Do me’ and his nakedness did not help as Yoochun could feel his junior coming to life underneath the towel.
“I’ll take full responsibility.” Before he even realized what he was going to say, those words had slipped out of his mouth.
Junsu took the sheets wrapping them around him. He then plopped back onto the bed hiding his face. At that moment he did not know whether he was crying out of joy or guilt.
The last scene flashed before his eyes like a curse. It has been haunting him ever since he saw those glares from his enemy. He had won the battle but it was suffocating whenever he was beside Yoochun.
Jaejoong eyed Yoochun and Junsu suspiciously. His sixth sense was telling him something was not right. Heechul was slurping his diet drink and ended up making a gross face, “This tastes like grass.”
“And I assume you’ve eaten grass?” Kyuhyun teased.
Everything seemed normal. It had been two weeks after that night. Across the table Changmin glared at Junsu with venom in his eyes with so much hatred and envy. Only the lustful yet dark devil Asmodeus would know that Changmin was cursing at Junsu under his breath.
Junsu didn’t dare to look up to face anyone. Deep inside he knew that he had won this battle by deceiving everyone he knows. But the tugging in his heart won’t stop bothering him. He didn’t deserve to be here nor did he deserve Yoochun who was so kind to him.
Now they were sitting here in a café ready to break up.
“Goodbye Yoochun.” Junsu steeled his heart and walked out of there. Only when he was finally outside did he let out those cries he had been hiding. Now he was free and had put everything in order. But the missing piece in his life would never return to him again.
As Junsu mindlessly walked around he ended up in front of the Han River. It seemed so at peace with a thin layer of ice formed above the surface.
The idea never struck him but now he was sure, this was his path.
Pulling himself up on to a steel bar Junsu looked down into the depth. It seemed to draw him in making him felt like it was a place for someone like him.
Junsu braced himself ready to escape when a pair of strong hands pulled him back. He fell backwards into what smelled like summer and incense. His heart was hammering hard against his ribcage due to the sudden movement.
“No mistakes, only love. Only love,” the greasy Chaebol repeatedly said.
A/N: What do you think??? I have super mad at my friend when I wrote this. I guess only when I'm not in my right mind can I write. Which have casued a bit .. for my bete :P
If you don't understand anything tell me and I'll explain.
Pairings:Yoochun ♥ Junsu | Yoochun ﾟ☆ﾟChangmin
Rating:Nc-15
Disclaimer:If mine…you’d see what I’d do >.< mohhahahaha
Genre:Angst, romance, high school
Beta:ting5
Author:agnetalovek
Summary: (Do I have to do this…?)
In the mist of hectic lives of high school Junsu has a secret crush. One day someone shows up and also has the same insight of crush and how wonderful it would be to have Yoochun as a boyfriend.
A/N: This time the story is written a little bit complicated. All the changing in text type might confuse you so I hope you can put with me to the ending.
And thanks to ting5!!!
| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆| ♥ ﾟ☆
There is no free meal in this world. You would have to pay with something precious but still it would not be considered a sacrifice because you did it willingly.
How much sadness and regret afterwards, if not already written on the check, then you can forget about it.
Junsu was considering his options since even after coming all this way, he still did not want to give up yet. There was too much regret not of happiness and sacrifices but of the pressure and lies. So many lies have been told and none of them could be undone by a simple “I’m sorry.”
His own shadow covered half the table, his hunched figure pitiful to watch from afar. His coffee tasted like sand in his mouth and the cake tasted like shit. Feeling no remorse for himself as what had happened was in the past.
How deep had he sunk to and who has he become in order to obtain his love. After the far away glances were no longer enough and the new youth threatened his peaceful days, Junsu had no other options but to act and act fast.
It was a strange night with no clouds and the stars were visible for viewing. His own fate for the evening seemed not that compatible with the weather. The gnawing sensation he felt made every breath he took more difficult than ever.
Why did it take so much strength to do this simple task? Junsu had mustered all his strength and courage but all that seemed to dissipate when he felt the tight embrace from behind.
“How long have you been waiting?”
“Not for long. Sit down, I’ll order your favorite white oolong tea. It’s good for your throat.” Junsu’s hoarse voice called for the waiter to order Yoochun’s drink.
Yoochun was still in his long furry coat with the red knitted scarf from Junsu. His hair was dripping wet and the white snow flakes decorated his hair like sugar on chocolate. Junsu felt the pull urging him to run his hand through the chestnut brown hair.
“There is something I want to talk about today.” Junsu was very serious, his eyes sharp with a little frown on his forehead. “I’m not sure where to begin.”
“Let us enjoy the tea first.”
Unknown to Yoochun, Junsu has been waiting in this café since ten in the morning and now the sun was already setting. Yoochun’s words assured Junsu but unnerved him too as it meant the breakup would have to wait.
The waiter who served him the entire day threw him annoyed glances as his cups filled their kitchen. When the waiter placed their drinks on the table, he snickered at Junsu in such a way that said; oh, so this is who you’ve been waiting for.
Although he wanted to smack that person and say something to defend himself, he felt like he deserved this treatment. Because he really did.
“Junsu let me introduce you to my best friend from my vocal course. He also plays the piano.”
Their meeting was simple, like friends meeting over dinner. But this dinner was planned just for Junsu. Since the dolphin boy was always so shy not knowing how to show his true character Jaejoong hoped that by bringing his two best friends would make things would get better.
Inside his house, it was a world of its own where no one would bother and discourage Junsu from making friends. Just as Jaejoong predicted, Junsu felt a special rush of spring through him when his Yoochun showed him how to play Assassin Creed, when Yoochun’s arms circled around his making him feel alive again.
Yunho and Jaejoong were playing in their room, a game Junsu didn’t want to get involved in. Jaejoong’s sunbae Jae Wook was studying for his exams in the balcony. It was really strange how they all befriended each other that night.
“Yoochun let’s talk.” He focused all his attention on Yoochun. “Can you please look at me.” He wanted to end this fast and leave. To leave this scarred place that he would never return to again.
“Junsu, do you like Yoochun? He’s a really good friend and knows how to keep secrets. I saw that you two get along really well.”
Junsu hesitated. His face hidden underneath his bangs, and he fixed his hair with his hands. A habit of his when he was feeling nervous.
“Sure. I’ll consider being friends with him.” He bit his lips and squeezed his eyes shut.
“What’s there to consider. Start hanging out and do something. You can’t live for studying only Junsu. I swear one day all that knowledge will escape from you when love found you.”
After a long silence, Yunho entered the room and hugged his boyfriend tightly unwilling to let go. Junsu found this amusing as he saw Jaejoong struggled in a playful manner yet begging to be pinned down by his hubby.
“I forgot to borrow some books today. See you later Jaejoong.”
The empty dorm was a chilly sight as most of the students had already gone home or had stayed in the main school building. He, Jaejoong, Yunho and Jae Wook opted to stay at the dorm.
Most of the students stayed because of these two reasons, poor or family issues.
***
It was almost dark outside. No one was at school, probably only the dorm students.
Junsu climbed three floors before finally arriving at the library wing. He entered in delight and went about choosing something old and cheerful to read. Suddenly he heard the rustling of clothes and moaning of a woman.
Junsu immediately figured out that it was a couple making out but wondered how bold they were. Ignoring them, Junsu picked out five books and entered his password into the system to borrow them. On his way out, out of rotten luck, Junsu accidentally knocked over a potted plant ending it crashing to the floor.
Seeing pieces of ceramics and sand went flying all over the place, Junsu let out a hiss before covering his mouth. Knowing there was no time as the intimate make-out has stopped and footsteps were fast approaching him with quick reflexes he hid behind the counter.
Junsu was boiling up from the suspense and embarrassment. He prayed to God that the person would not discover him. Just then he heard a familiar greasy masculine voice, “Baby, no one’s here. Maybe it was a cat?” The person then laughed before walking away back to the girl.
The said person was his new best friend. Park Yoochun.
At that time Junsu still didn’t know what his feelings symbolized. His flushed face turned sour and then sad. He was disappointed at himself for believing in friendship and that he was hoping for something more. Yoochun didn’t betray him but it felt like he did.
Junsu swallowed his cries and ran out of the library. He didn’t turn back even once to take a last glance or do anything. He just ran straight back to Jaejoong’s room.
“Yoochun, we’ve been together for a year now. You’ve brought me a lot of happiness and really, never once made me cry. I was happy with you. It may be the happiest time I’ll ever experience.”
Junsu didn’t want to say anymore. He needed space and choosing this café was apparently a wrong choice. He wrung his hands under the table, nails of his left hands digging into the soft flesh of his right arm leaving behind red marks. If he did not stop soon he may draw blood.
Yoochun sat there quietly, like a Chaebol full of pride. His posture composed and expression tranquil, waiting for Junsu to continue.
From then on Junsu thought only of keeping his crush a secret not having any courage to confess. Jaejoong often asked him about his sudden change of decision, and all he could say was, “We are not fit to be friends.”
After that Junsu turned even gloomier, shut himself off, never opening up again to new people and stopped all kind of socializing business. Well, at least that was what people from school thought that the small short kid with brown hair was an outcast.
It didn’t really bother him because this way he could look at Yoochun from afar. The knowledge that Yoochun solely belonged to no one was a relief to him too. But still it saddened him when rumors of Yoochun’s Casanova ways reached his ears.
However the fact that Yoochun was a player also contributed to his strong and determined feelings for Yoochun. As Junsu knew that Yoochun will never be serious with any of the people he hooked up with..
School was not too hard for Junsu except for P.E. which he only had average grades. Whatever sports that he played somehow the ball was always aimed at him. And he had long gave up in competing for the ball and instead ran away from it.
Unfortunately today was volleyball, one of the sports he disliked the most.
*Thunk*
The ball hit his face even with his effort to escape. Junsu felt something wet dripping and saw a small red stain on his white gym shirt. What a weak man he was. Before Junsu could look around and call for help, he had already passed out.
Junsu had always been afraid of blood. The sight of fresh red blood made him nauseous and he would definitely faint. When he woke up the warm soft hand holding him had disappeared. He looked around and saw that he was alone at the infirmary. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw the blood has stopped.
“I…I think…I think that we should break up.”
Junsu was not as innocent and nerdy as everyone in school thought. He had his secret. A secret he shared with no one. Like normal he checked his appearance one last time before heading out. His boots making crunching sounds on the gravel as he walked for twenty minutes to Shinee.
A gay club.
The first thing he did was to order a drink letting it calmed his nerves. Junsu was still nervous no matter how many times he had visited this place. Heavy music with a rapid beat echoed across the underground bar.
Settling his worries and life down, Junsu headed toward the center and started to dance. His limbs moved with the rhythm and his hips thrust in sync with every beat of the music. Men were circling him as his dancing incited lust from them.
Finally getting tired Junsu went back to the counter and asked for a regular. There, he chatted with two men, who ended up very persistent not wanting to let him go. Junsu averted his attention searching for help. It was them he spotted him among the seas of dancing bodies. No matter where Junsu would recognize that person.
His shy nature was now replaced with a bold one. Not caring about the men courting him Junsu jumped down from his seat and with confident steps Junsu slowly closed in on his prey. But someone interrupted his purpose, a boy around his age if not a year younger circled Yoochun closed enough to caress his face.
In the dimly lit dance floor Junsu could not see the face clearly but the boy suddenly dragged Yoochun away from the dance floor to a corner. There they shared drinks and jokes laughing about something that Junsu couldn’t hear.
Junsu was really desperate as he danced closer and closer to the pair trying to hear what they were talking about or maybe even Yoochun’s voice. The boy noticed Junsu’s actions and shot him a look. It was not a friendly one as his eyes were full of pride and had a warning clearly shining through them.
Bodies were grinding against him and his back was getting harassed by multiple hands, making him lose sight of the couple and he retreated to his chair. There he was alone but not for too long.
There was no need to begrudge, but when the battle between two determined fighters began, it was all about cunning plots. The most devious and smart one, was the one to win.
Junsu rocked himself to sleep feeling new warmth swarming him.
This time without mercy and guilt, because there was someone he needed to conquer.
The battle was about pride and love, whish was something he had held inside for so long. When the admiring looks were no longer sufficient and his secret love was about to be crushed it was instinctive for Junsu to defend himself.
Jaejoong knocked on Junsu’s door, waited a few minutes before entering. It smelt of alcohol and vomit so he knew his dear cousin must have gone out drinking again. No matter what Jaejoong said about self-love and hurting himself, Junsu would not bat an eyelash and would go out again the next night.
It wasn’t that hard to figure out the reasons for Junsu’s nightly escapades. When his innocent smile faltered after seeing Yoochun with different girlfriends every day making Jaejoong cursed Yoochun for his blindness.
Yoochun had wanted to be friends with Junsu even after Jaejoong told him about Junsu’s issues and his anti-social behavior. But after seeing Junsu avoiding him and not paying any attention to him Yoochun got hurt and didn’t bother him anymore.
Sometimes Yoochun would regret and think what if they were friends and what their friendship might lead to. Along the years he gave up and only remembered the happiest time of their short friendship.
“I think it would be best if we break up now. You gave me happiness and showed me love and that’s enough.” Junsu brushed back his hair with one hand, which slightly wavered when his eyes met Yoochun’s.
Yoochun looked at him, not showing any emotions different from before. He was still solid and aware of his power and ability to lure Junsu back in with his deep brown eyes. His eyes showed no lies or intentions of stopping Junsu from continuing. It was a simple gesture of promise and respect.
Near them was group of younger students from the same school judging by their uniforms. There were five girls flocking around the two boys like hyenas, not shy at all. They asked endless questions and flirted shamelessly.
By *accident* one of the girls pushed herself into the arms of one of the boys. It was then Junsu finally remembered the boys’ names, Taemin and Minho. Both of them looked so fresh like newly ripen apples but they were confident in their looks and abilities to attract girls.
Suddenly Taemin pushed the long haired girl away from Minho and kissed him on the lips. The both of them were now engaged in a French kiss, tongues and saliva involved.
It happened one night. Junsu as usual was at the bar and he saw a chance. Chatting with the bartender Junsu carefully slipped something into the drink that Yoochun had ordered. Then he himself brought it to the man.
Like nothing out of the ordinary he sat down and started a conversation with Yoochun hoping the latter would ignore their identities and past encounters.
“So, how long have you known this place?” Yoochun asked and downed his drink in one shot. After which he looked the same. Well, Junsu hasn’t expected the drink to kick so fast either.
Playing dumb Junsu pretended to think really hard before replying, “About five years. Jaejoong brought me here during Junior High but I started coming here alone as a freshman.”
The heavy beat of music urged them to dance and with his hard to resist seductive glances Junsu pulled Yoochun up, entwined their hands leading them to the dance floor. Bodies pushed against them and hands reaching out to touch them. None of it was on purpose since everyone’s lost in their dreams on the dance floor.
Junsu took this chance to dance very close to Yoochun body gliding around Yoochun. Yoochun was not objecting which gave Junsu even more courage to continue his moves. He can see sweat trickling down Yoochun’s chest.
Their body moved together with the beat, fitting each other like a jigsaw puzzle. His hands slowly curled behind Yoochun’s neck as he rubbed himself against Yoochun, whose legs were apart from being forced close to the wall.
As the song slowly came to an end Junsu invited Yoochun for another drink. Before the man even got a chance to relax and breathe his head hit the table and he moaned softly under his breath.
Junsu immediately lifted him and carried him to their dorm. It was a hard task since Yoochun was not light and he was like a dead weight in Junsu’s arms. Before entering school ground Junsu had called Jaejoong to tell him he was coming home. Luckily for him no one answered because Junsu had no idea what to tell Jaejoong where he was going to spend the night.
Dragging Yoochun by his collar Junsu managed to move Yoochun to the bed. He eyed the drunken man who was sleeping soundly. Yoochun’s front curls settled just above his eyes which was a little wet making him look even more hot and ready to be ravished.
Junsu began to undress Yoochun and finally the only clothing shielding him from seeing Yoochun’s entire body was his red Calvin Klein boxers. Pushing aside the last bit of his insecurities Junsu removed the boxers and he now undressed himself. With that this would become the perfect crime.
***
Yoochun woke up with a heavy migraine feeling like someone had cracked his head opened and put rocks inside. Nausea overpowered him and forcing down his bile he quickly headed towards the toilet to empty his stomach.
The smell of vomit and alcohol did not help make his headache any better. Deciding to take a shower Yoochun entered the washing stall. Not realizing he was already naked Yoochun sprayed he cold water over himself. He groaned as he washed himself with the body wash.
After cleaning all the foam he stepped out of the shower and went to the sink. He added mint flavored toothpaste to his toothbrush and cleaned his mouth of any remnants from his puking. Studying himself in the mirror he saw dark circles under his bloodshot eye. Damn! He looked like a corpse.
Finding the bathroom a little bit hot he went out and that was when his eyes laid on the cute boy sleeping on his bed. It was Kim Junsu, the boy who had avoided his affections and attention for god knows how long.
Stirring in his sleep, Junsu flipped to his side with his back turned to Yoochun. Mumbling something about Jaejoong and how bright the room was he slowly rubbed his eyes. His body suddenly went still, alarmed by his new surrounding Junsu jolted up from the bed. He found himself staring at Park Yoochun who only had a towel covering his junior.
Then Junsu looked down at himself finding he was naked. His face flushed cherry red and if possible smoke may be coming out of his ears. Junsu was so embarrassed that if there was a hole in the wall or on the floor he wouldn’t hesitate to jump in.
“H-h-how di-did I en-d up here.?”
Yoochun looked just as shocked as Junsu. Why was Junsu naked in his bed? Not being able to answer he stole a glance at Junsu who was now in tears, hiccupping and shoulders shaking..
“I’m not sure myself.”
“You d-don’t th-think we did it right?”
From Yoochun’s experience he knew that nothing had happened or he would have washed off any stickiness from his cock. But the adorable innocent face in front of him just screamed ,’Do me’ and his nakedness did not help as Yoochun could feel his junior coming to life underneath the towel.
“I’ll take full responsibility.” Before he even realized what he was going to say, those words had slipped out of his mouth.
Junsu took the sheets wrapping them around him. He then plopped back onto the bed hiding his face. At that moment he did not know whether he was crying out of joy or guilt.
The last scene flashed before his eyes like a curse. It has been haunting him ever since he saw those glares from his enemy. He had won the battle but it was suffocating whenever he was beside Yoochun.
Jaejoong eyed Yoochun and Junsu suspiciously. His sixth sense was telling him something was not right. Heechul was slurping his diet drink and ended up making a gross face, “This tastes like grass.”
“And I assume you’ve eaten grass?” Kyuhyun teased.
Everything seemed normal. It had been two weeks after that night. Across the table Changmin glared at Junsu with venom in his eyes with so much hatred and envy. Only the lustful yet dark devil Asmodeus would know that Changmin was cursing at Junsu under his breath.
Junsu didn’t dare to look up to face anyone. Deep inside he knew that he had won this battle by deceiving everyone he knows. But the tugging in his heart won’t stop bothering him. He didn’t deserve to be here nor did he deserve Yoochun who was so kind to him.
Now they were sitting here in a café ready to break up.
“Goodbye Yoochun.” Junsu steeled his heart and walked out of there. Only when he was finally outside did he let out those cries he had been hiding. Now he was free and had put everything in order. But the missing piece in his life would never return to him again.
As Junsu mindlessly walked around he ended up in front of the Han River. It seemed so at peace with a thin layer of ice formed above the surface.
The idea never struck him but now he was sure, this was his path.
Pulling himself up on to a steel bar Junsu looked down into the depth. It seemed to draw him in making him felt like it was a place for someone like him.
Junsu braced himself ready to escape when a pair of strong hands pulled him back. He fell backwards into what smelled like summer and incense. His heart was hammering hard against his ribcage due to the sudden movement.
“No mistakes, only love. Only love,” the greasy Chaebol repeatedly said.
A/N: What do you think??? I have super mad at my friend when I wrote this. I guess only when I'm not in my right mind can I write. Which have casued a bit .. for my bete :P
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