what the BLOODCLOT!!!
Today has been an interesting day... but I cannot sleep so here we go: it started out very good (as do most things in my life :-\)Today was Matthews christening party, which was a bbq at michelles house and I had a lot of fun. Unfortunately I had to go to work and everybody was telling me to call in sick but I cannot, I have 2 jobs and most people have one, and my jobs are odd hours which is why I never really see anybody anymore if their schedules do not mesh. I was supposed to work a double but I said I couldnt work the morning, add another strike to my list...probably kiss any hope of a raise goodbye... but I already felt guilty enough leaving and I did not need the additional pressure.. if they paid me by the hour for my company maybe then we would have had a deal...if I had a bbq at 1:00 on a wednesday and told my friends to call in sick... YEAH RIGHT!!! anyway... then I found out one of my good friends got really wasted, threw up and passed out! at a FAMILY PARTY! in the DAYTIME???? not a friday night in the club or at a bar...a family party in the daytime! COME ON! with moms and aunts and dads...and I dont even think my friend was embarrassed about that at all! you have to have a SERIOUS problem! and this happens every time that person drinks... yet they do not think they have a problem and do not want me to worry. How can I not worry when I had to deal with an alcoholic grandma calling me drunk saying "I miss you..Why did you leave me???" setting the couch on fire with her cigarretes and falling asleep, I was always so worried about her and she died because she had a heart attack and she was too drunk to call the ambulance. If only I had been there then maybe she would still be alive...I cannot have friends like that in my life, I am no prohibitionist like my family but there is a difference between having a few drinks and going all out passing out and throwing up every time you drink! Someday that person will be lying face down in the street in a puddle of their own vomit dead, and I will feel responsible for it. Well I do not want to be... If that continues then I will have no choice but to eliminate that friend from my life because I cannot take it. Feelings are never right or wrong, they just are and that is how I feel...